Anonymous wrote:I definitely do, think about it a lot these days.
First saw her around Martha’s Vineyard about 20 years ago. Came right out of the water looking all glistening and beautiful. My buddies encouraged me to see if I could get her into my boat. I was patient and determined and when I finally thought I had her hooked, she spat out everything and disappeared.
Must’ve been 30 lb of striped bass on the line and just like that, gone.

I’m the one who got away for at least two ex boyfriends, possibly three. I was way out of their league, but I didn’t see it at the time. I thought my looks were well below average and dated accordingly. Kind of like body dysmorphia, but for the face. It took years to get that emotional knot worked out, and I regret that it affected other people in the process. Being the one who got away really isn’t something to be proud of.

It’s always the one with unfinished business…and suddenly all the love songs were about you.

DH is definitely "the one".

But there is one from late in college that had unfinished business. We were friends in HS, crossed paths a bit in college (different schools, far away). Towards the middle or end of college we had some moments. There was something there. He was also a bit older than I am and graduated and moved further away to start his life. There was some instant messaging (Lol) for a bit. But we were never again single at the same time and it tapered off.

Fast forward to a few years ago, we both left our home state and ended up about 20 minutes away from each other. Our paths haven't crossed. I've met up with a ton of other old friends who now live in my area including men, but I can't go out of my way to meet him. I can't explain it, since usually dh and I have no problem with being friends with people of the opposite sex but this one is different.

I used to think a lot about that passionate romance where he completely blindsided me by breaking up with me after I moved away for grad school. After a lot of therapy I have realized that he was actually a narcissist who played with people, that I had been “love bombed”, that he told every girl that she was “the one”, etc. Once I realized that I felt sorry for his wife and kid.

Nah. Nobody got away. I broke up with a few and I’m with the “one”.

He’s been pretty single ever since. I got married. I’ve actually pulled away from our mutual friends partly because I’m afraid of running into him- we saw each other all the time in our early 30s at weddings but we lived on opposite coasts so it felt safe. Now we live kind of close and ended up in overlapping industries. I’m always nervous that the next job posting will bring him to my (office) doorstep. I don’t exist online and I don’t think he knows where I am, and he barely has a discernible online presence. That helps me pretend he is married and settled and just keeps it a secret.

At the time it seemed like there was no way it could ever be a thing, and we were immature and really eager to chase the next part of our lives. And I think we were both embarrassed to admit we wanted a relationship- our circle of friends relied on us to be the casual, fun ones and I don’t think we could see past the roles we’d been cast in.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure I'm the one who got away for at least 3 of my boyfriends...💁‍♀️

I hate to humblebrag (😆) but I am of similar mindset.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure I'm the one who got away for at least 3 of my boyfriends...💁‍♀️

Haha this is how I feel too

My story is similar to yours OP. I felt too young to commit. My mother still brings him up every so often because she wishes I'd married him ($$$) and I never respond.

Yes. The lack of closure causes me to wonder what-if from time to time.

Yes, the comments about unfinished business resonate with me too. We were in our early 20s and were each going through some stuff, neither of us had any business being in a relationship. I’m indifferent to all other old boyfriends, but had a good friendship with this one and still care about him. I have not and won’t initiate contact, but there are still some what-ifs.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely do, think about it a lot these days.
First saw her around Martha’s Vineyard about 20 years ago. Came right out of the water looking all glistening and beautiful. My buddies encouraged me to see if I could get her into my boat. I was patient and determined and when I finally thought I had her hooked, she spat out everything and disappeared.
Must’ve been 30 lb of striped bass on the line and just like that, gone.

Was her name Ariel?

I definitely do, think about it a lot these days.
First saw her around Martha’s Vineyard about 20 years ago. Came right out of the water looking all glistening and beautiful. My buddies encouraged me to see if I could get her into my boat. I was patient and determined and when I finally thought I had her hooked, she spat out everything and disappeared.
Must’ve been 30 lb of striped bass on the line and just like that, gone.

sowed, not sewed