My girls are 9 and 11. The older one did middle school cross country and pre-covid did gymnastics. Otherwise no sports and I cannot convince them to play on any teams even with their friends. They prefer creative activities and I think that’s ok, as long as they are still getting some exercise.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty typical for girls. Boys are, on average, much more into competitive sports, but even with them it is not unusual to find non-sportsy boys.

What is wrong with you?

Obviously you are a #boymom

Welcome to the DMV. Depending on the high school you are zoned for, not pushing them harder into some activity may have the result that they are not able to pursue anything in high school. Some of the high schools are so competitive that there are no no-cut sports, or even clubs that are easy to join. Ours is like that. It's not that way in every high school, but many on NoVa are that way. Check out yours now - if the teams and bands and so on are winning championships left and right, then you have the choice of pushing your kids now so they can have those opportunities (doesn't have to be sports, could be music or some other hobby), or they will miss out on those opportunities.

In elementary school, I signed my daughter up for a variety of competitive sports to see if she would enjoy any of them. I told both of my children that when they were in high school, I really wanted them to sign up for at least one sport because it's good exercise and what not. My daughter looked at all the teams and options and she chose cross country. Our high school, Wootton high school, has a huge team And she did well, but nobody relied solely on her, and I think that's what she liked about it. She did not like the competition and having people rely on her athletically. At least that's what she shared with me. Anyway, no not everybody likes competitive sports. And it's not just a girl thing. My friend's son will have nothing to do with competitive sports. He likes art.

Anonymous wrote: Yet, I can't shake off the worry that my girls might be missing out on something by not participating in the more competitive sports like their friends. I also worry that if they don't find their 'thing' now, they won't have an opportunity to try it later on.

These worries don't seem to be reasonable, grounded, or based in child development, your daughters' ages and interests, or the sports and activities scene in the DMV.

I get the impression these kids would wilt if forced into something competitive.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty typical for girls. Boys are, on average, much more into competitive sports, but even with them it is not unusual to find non-sportsy boys.

Even then the boys might be more competitive but are still just average players. Being competitive doesn’t mean playing against teams that are extraordinary, it just means they spend more time on them.

It’s fine. So they won’t be recruited athletes, so what? They probably won’t have all the knee, leg, and other injuries that many competitive athletes have. As long as they are active, fit, and healthy they are fine. My 7yo does not like anything competitive but she will run around outside for hours at a time so we do that.

OP, it’s funny you are worried about sports because I’m sitting here stressing in the opposite direction about music. I grew up playing sports casually and doing music in a pretty intense way for back then (or as intense as it could be for someone who wasn’t a prodigy). I wasn’t great but did competitions and was in performing groups and stuff all through HS, and there was plenty of opportunity for untalented but hardworking kids to do that.

My DD is on a very competitive team for her primary sport and does other rec sports. She refuses to do anything involving music and seems to have zero interest in even trying an instrument or voice lessons. I think it’s a reflection of how competitive the music scene is at her school and in our community. It also worries me that she’s missing out on some kind of key part of childhood.

Totally normal to worry about our kids in this way. We just want them to have every possible opportunity before they’re older and doors close to casual participation or adult learning.