Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 14:13     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:They want their friends, their peers, to support them, not their parents.


That’s not necessarily true; it’s not one or the other. My mom was very comforting after my first breakup at 16, as was my best friend.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 12:51     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:If it’s your daughter, you must teach her the ways of getting through a breakup.

Take a day off school/work.
Ask her if she wants ice cream or cake.
Let her sleep in.
Then ask if she wants to be distracted or wallow.
Distracted—watch tv/movie that are action or mystery
Wallow—watch rom-coms and cry
Eat cake and/or ice cream all day
Help her make a list of all the ways the ex sucks
Next day, tell her she had her day, now it time to suck it up, hold her head high and save all her big emotions until she can get home and release them.


you watch too many movies.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 12:50     Subject: Re:First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:
Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


You want normal. Normal relationships. Dating is normal. Dating is age appropriate.
When you eliminate what's normal and ordinary, you eliminate the building of a friendship
You want the friendships too. If you eliminate dating and friendship, then female-male relationships
are only about sex and never anything else, or anything more.


well, that depends on the age, doesn't it.

and how did you sneak friendship into the conversation?
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 12:03     Subject: Re:First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:
Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


You want normal. Normal relationships. Dating is normal. Dating is age appropriate.
When you eliminate what's normal and ordinary, you eliminate the building of a friendship
You want the friendships too. If you eliminate dating and friendship, then female-male relationships
are only about sex and never anything else, or anything more.


Normal is going to school and hanging out with your friends. It can be absolutely normal to not date in high school. There is no need to encourage it because it just leads to sex and heartbreak and won’t lead to marriage anyway. Wait until they are older and it’s better.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 12:01     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:If it’s your daughter, you must teach her the ways of getting through a breakup.

Take a day off school/work.
Ask her if she wants ice cream or cake.
Let her sleep in.
Then ask if she wants to be distracted or wallow.
Distracted—watch tv/movie that are action or mystery
Wallow—watch rom-coms and cry
Eat cake and/or ice cream all day
Help her make a list of all the ways the ex sucks
Next day, tell her she had her day, now it time to suck it up, hold her head high and save all her big emotions until she can get home and release them.


Um no.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 11:40     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


+1
they are not ready for this at 15.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 11:32     Subject: First heartbreak
If it’s your daughter, you must teach her the ways of getting through a breakup.

Take a day off school/work.
Ask her if she wants ice cream or cake.
Let her sleep in.
Then ask if she wants to be distracted or wallow.
Distracted—watch tv/movie that are action or mystery
Wallow—watch rom-coms and cry
Eat cake and/or ice cream all day
Help her make a list of all the ways the ex sucks
Next day, tell her she had her day, now it time to suck it up, hold her head high and save all her big emotions until she can get home and release them.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 11:18     Subject: Re:First heartbreak
Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


You want normal. Normal relationships. Dating is normal. Dating is age appropriate.
When you eliminate what's normal and ordinary, you eliminate the building of a friendship
You want the friendships too. If you eliminate dating and friendship, then female-male relationships
are only about sex and never anything else, or anything more.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 11:15     Subject: First heartbreak
Don't do like my dad. I was crying on our sunporch back in 1995. He said you will find another man to love you. Ha ha. So true but I wanted a hug.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 11:08     Subject: First heartbreak
They want their friends, their peers, to support them, not their parents.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 10:31     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


Great! Then they experience this for the first time when they are alone. Good idea!!


They will be older and more mature and have plenty of friends. Mommy doesn’t have to help with heartbreak.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 10:04     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


Lol! Good one!
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 09:40     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.


Great! Then they experience this for the first time when they are alone. Good idea!!
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 08:51     Subject: First heartbreak
Set a rule no dating in high school and you avoid all this drama.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2024 06:25     Subject: First heartbreak
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Balance sadness time with keeping them busy. If they are too busy, you are teaching them to push feeling down and not handle them. If you allow them all day crying and wallowing (past the first day or so) you are teaching them that life moves on.

We also have to pay attention that they are not getting back together for the wrong reasons or rebounding for wrong reasons.


Not something you can control


Which is why the person said to watch and not don’t let them.


The prior responder was correct: you can’t control this. Watch all you want. Advise all you want. Once the kids are teenagers, you can’t control lots of stuff. And…would you want to? Thats part of learning and growing up. Parts of it are incredible painful. Learning that sometimes you have to go through the pain is healthy part of growing up. Some people mask or end this pain with alcohol, drugs, or whatever it takes to end it, inc getting back together with the person.