I hate no kid weddings. How big is your family? We have 40+ cousins marrying in the next 10 years. So, we limit to $100. In your position, $300 but find a nice gift for the couple to remember the occasion.

If you can afford it, 500 on up. If you can’t, no big deal. We recently gave 350 (no kid wedding).

Anonymous wrote:You people are INSANE. We give $250 for nieces/nephews and close family, even when all four of us are invited

I was giving $200 25 years ago when I was in my 20's and single, to cousins getting married. So to give $250 NOW for a family of four seems REALLY cheap. And I'm someone who earns five figures - not some rich person who throws money around. But weddings are special so when someone close to me gets engaged I start saving right then.

Why does it matter how many people in the family are invited? Hosts don’t expect to be “reimbursed” via gifts …

I’d suggest $500 in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree about $500-$1000

How much do you make a year? Doing what?

You’re nosy

Anonymous wrote:You people are INSANE. We give $250 for nieces/nephews and close family, even when all four of us are invited

That’s fine. Give what you want.

You people are INSANE. We give $250 for nieces/nephews and close family, even when all four of us are invited

$1,000 bucks considering you are bringing a whole family is a good gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-1000 depending how close you are.

Holy crap. That is a ton of money! What do you people do for a living?

Do you not have a mortgage, klds in college, retirement to save for, and other expenses?

We have had the same furniture for thirty years, we drive old cars, and rarely go on vacation together, for just a few examples. HTH are we supposed to afford that kind of wedding present? How much are they spending on these outrageous weddings?

Dh and I paid for our own wedding entirely, got nothing but crap from his family, and all we asked is that people show up and enjoy themselves, which apparently was a tall order. I could not imagine expecting that amount for a cash gift. Are these PPs brides to be who are posting?? They want money??

You are poor. This is not op’s case. I’d do $1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree about $500-$1000

+1. Assume it is costing them about $800 dollars for a family of 4.

At least. If it’s in nyc, double it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-1000 depending how close you are.

Holy crap. That is a ton of money! What do you people do for a living?

Do you not have a mortgage, klds in college, retirement to save for, and other expenses?

We have had the same furniture for thirty years, we drive old cars, and rarely go on vacation together, for just a few examples. HTH are we supposed to afford that kind of wedding present? How much are they spending on these outrageous weddings?

Dh and I paid for our own wedding entirely, got nothing but crap from his family, and all we asked is that people show up and enjoy themselves, which apparently was a tall order. I could not imagine expecting that amount for a cash gift. Are these PPs brides to be who are posting?? They want money??

PP...I think these people posting $500-$1,000 are going to weddings that probably cost $75K or more to host.

30 years ago, when I was single, I would buy a $50 gift. $100 for a good friend. Now my family is financially secure, I would give about $300. That's still generous enough but not remarkable.

Most of today's couples don't need physical gifts because they are well established in life, so a pragmatic (although impolite) way to look it at it, is to estimate how much it is costing them to host you for the reception and give somewhat more than that. I know it's bad manners in the US to think that way but some cultures consider wedding gift cash as a way to crowdfund a village celebration. I like that notion myself - I'm giving to help the wedding couple celebrate with me.

Or you could buy a present if you are a talented gift giver or they have a registry. The registry's most expensive items should give you a clue about the couple's economic assumptions.

Sidebar: The best wedding present we got was an absolutely versatile but inexpensive kitchen pan we received from an elderly work colleague of my parent. It was his personal recommendation. I bet that guy would have been thrilled to know he picked the best gift over two decades of use. All the formal stuff has remained largely unused even though I love how it looks.

I think it's more that OP said the couple is very dear to them, they are the only guests allowed to bring children, and they want to be generous but not ostentatious.

I would think $300-500 for a wedding where my party had a headcount of 4-5, and I would consider that to be on the reasonable/generous divide. Adding that the couple is so dear, they gift-giver is a VIP of sorts, and they want to be firmly over the border of "generous", I think $500-1000 is the right range. Closer to $500 if it's a big middle class crowd; closer to $1000 if it's UMC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-1000 depending how close you are.

Holy crap. That is a ton of money! What do you people do for a living?

Do you not have a mortgage, klds in college, retirement to save for, and other expenses?

We have had the same furniture for thirty years, we drive old cars, and rarely go on vacation together, for just a few examples. HTH are we supposed to afford that kind of wedding present? How much are they spending on these outrageous weddings?

Dh and I paid for our own wedding entirely, got nothing but crap from his family, and all we asked is that people show up and enjoy themselves, which apparently was a tall order. I could not imagine expecting that amount for a cash gift. Are these PPs brides to be who are posting?? They want money??

Your experience many moons is irrelevant. It’s common place for guests to generously give what they comfortably can to help a new couple start their life together. The amount will vary from person to person. It’s ok if you give $100 and the next person gives $500 and the next gives $1000. All good.

Maybe don't have a wedding if you can't afford it?

I have heard the 500-1000 where I live, my kid just got married and I was kind of shocked by the $75 per person

Anonymous wrote:Agree about $500-$1000

+1. Assume it is costing them about $800 dollars for a family of 4.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500-1000 depending how close you are.

Holy crap. That is a ton of money! What do you people do for a living?

Do you not have a mortgage, klds in college, retirement to save for, and other expenses?

We have had the same furniture for thirty years, we drive old cars, and rarely go on vacation together, for just a few examples. HTH are we supposed to afford that kind of wedding present? How much are they spending on these outrageous weddings?

Dh and I paid for our own wedding entirely, got nothing but crap from his family, and all we asked is that people show up and enjoy themselves, which apparently was a tall order. I could not imagine expecting that amount for a cash gift. Are these PPs brides to be who are posting?? They want money??

PP...I think these people posting $500-$1,000 are going to weddings that probably cost $75K or more to host.

30 years ago, when I was single, I would buy a $50 gift. $100 for a good friend. Now my family is financially secure, I would give about $300. That's still generous enough but not remarkable.

Most of today's couples don't need physical gifts because they are well established in life, so a pragmatic (although impolite) way to look it at it, is to estimate how much it is costing them to host you for the reception and give somewhat more than that. I know it's bad manners in the US to think that way but some cultures consider wedding gift cash as a way to crowdfund a village celebration. I like that notion myself - I'm giving to help the wedding couple celebrate with me.

Or you could buy a present if you are a talented gift giver or they have a registry. The registry's most expensive items should give you a clue about the couple's economic assumptions.

Sidebar: The best wedding present we got was an absolutely versatile but inexpensive kitchen pan we received from an elderly work colleague of my parent. It was his personal recommendation. I bet that guy would have been thrilled to know he picked the best gift over two decades of use. All the formal stuff has remained largely unused even though I love how it looks.