Do you want to spend the rest of you life intertwined with this person?

Seriously? Will he provide the financial support you need, child care, help with homework, doctor appointments, school activities? Pay for college?

Will he really be a parent? You need to ask all these since you don’t even know him at all.

Feeling sad for this kid already. This kid deserves better. You are already failing as a Mom.

Yes, I’m judging. But that what you get when you post something this stupid on a public anonymous forum. Troll?

I have 4 kids about to have my 5th medical abortion. He broke up with me after 2 months.

Sounds like a harlequin novel

This is a no brainer, OP. Get to the doctor now and don’t bring a child into this situation. It’s not a child yet. Not fair to do that.

If finances weren’t an issue, I could personally never abort but of course this is a very personal decision. You have many options and you have to go with what you feel and know to be right.

You said you had an “ugly but mutual” breakup … What kind of father do you see this guy being?

I am 6 months pregnant with baby #3 we dated for 4 months and then broke up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

+1

Most people cannot do this: carry a baby, deal with the morning sickness and other stresses, attend doctor's appointments, modify their diet and lifestyle, and then just give the baby away.

I guess it depends on your personal view of when life begins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

Terminate now. A child deserves two parents that have at least some level of compatibility.

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

It's very hard to raise a child as a single parent. Have you many relatvies nearby who can and want to help? Otherwise wouldn't advise to keep.

No. Been there. Kept the baby, but it was a bad idea for me and for the baby. I gave us both a life that is far less than what either of us deserved. Do I love her dearly? Yes, but it was selfish of me to have her.

If I had a do-over, I would terminate an unplanned pregnancy. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Wait until you can either have a baby with a stable loving kind partner, or do it entirely on your own. A baby with two parents who don't want to be with each other makes for a good movie plot but not a good life script.

I had been "dating" someone for about 2 months when I found out we were pregnant. While I love my child, I regret I didn't make a better/more-conscious choice about their co-parent. We tried to make it work "for the kid" and it has been a torment.

Kid is amazing, though. Life is strange.

My sister got pregnant in a similar situation. She was 38 and had always wanted kids and kept the baby. Turns out the guy she didn’t really like that much when they dated was a raging alcoholic and had a horrible temper, especially under stress. Guess what causes stress? An unplanned pregnancy! I love my nephew, but the two adults have been making each other’s lives hell for 3+ years now with no end in sight, endless drama requiring the financial/emotional support of our extended family, and I wish my sister had gone the sperm donor route if she was so desperate for a baby.