I remember one of my uncles telling me that my father, who was born missing much of one leg, always had beautiful girls friends including my mother. He said he was sure that the reason was that my father never considered himself disabled and excelled at so many things including a lot of sports. When I mentioned this to my mother she said absolutely yes, your father is the least disabled person I’ve ever met. She also said that my grandmother told her that my dad was like that at age 3. He’s a good looking guy which helps.

They are funny. I promise you, a guy with no money and mediocre looks who has a great personality and makes a woman laugh can definitely get an attractive woman.

You don't need to be an extrovert. You just need social skills. The more you go out and talk to people with no expectation of getting a date, the more practice you'll get.

IMO personality is the easiest thing for a guy to work on to be more attractive. Not a lot you can do about your height or your face, hair loss drugs don't always work, and most guys are already trying to earn money. But you can definitely learn to be funny, confident, and a good listener.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first time I saw my husband he was making a presentation in front of a large crowd. He was certainly good looking, but his command of the material and his confidence and ease of presenting it was incredibly impressive. Instead of standing behind a podium he roamed the stage with no notes and he really owned the room. I’m quite sure I wasn’t the only woman in that hall who wasn’t impressed.

He probably had a background in debate, toastmasters, mock trial or something like that. What's the big deal? How would it make him a good partner?

I have no background in any of those things and can rock an audience. I was just born to perform.

Anonymous wrote:What do the men who get the attractive women do differently from us regular guys? Some of these men are not attractive themselves, but they seem to have “it” when it comes to attracting very good looking and/or sexy women.

Granted I am an introvert, I know my limits as far as the type of women who will pay attention to me. But I would love to up my game and would love to hear from men and women what these men do right that others don’t.

Why not look for a compatible partner you can happily live with instead of chasing random women for their looks?

Anonymous wrote:The first time I saw my husband he was making a presentation in front of a large crowd. He was certainly good looking, but his command of the material and his confidence and ease of presenting it was incredibly impressive. Instead of standing behind a podium he roamed the stage with no notes and he really owned the room. I’m quite sure I wasn’t the only woman in that hall who wasn’t impressed.

He probably had a background in debate, toastmasters, mock trial or something like that. What's the big deal? How would it make him a good partner?

Anonymous wrote:If confidence was such an easy trait to acquire I assure you women will the ones chasing men and not the other way around. Very few men have that confidence that women often talk about and these are the men that all women are chasing in real life and on OLD. The vast majority of men are simply invisible to women. It’s unfortunate because some of these men while not the most confident or engaged can be very good bfs or husbands.

For most men confidence isn’t innate it is something gained through achievement. Some men achieve it early on through sports, but for many it’s through academics and work. Sadly, sometimes confidence is simply ego well masked but it doesn’t take long to see through it.

If confidence was such an easy trait to acquire I assure you women will the ones chasing men and not the other way around. Very few men have that confidence that women often talk about and these are the men that all women are chasing in real life and on OLD. The vast majority of men are simply invisible to women. It’s unfortunate because some of these men while not the most confident or engaged can be very good bfs or husbands.

It is to attract a woman. The hard part is keeping her engaged and happy. Women are continuously engaged and passionate. Many men underestimate the challenges to keep up.

You’re stuck with yourself and some things we can control.

But very few men can’t lift weights and maximize their career/earning as much as possible. Confidence comes from within, but doing those two things will help with confidence, give you a reason for it.

Attractive. Tall. Strong earner. Pick 2 out of 3. Because usually you can’t have them all.

I’m dating an attractive guy who is 5’9” and a very medium earner but love his heart. He’s a good man and that goes a loooong way.

Anonymous wrote:I "knew" a man who weighed 130 pounds, looked like Crispin Glover and had no money (worked as a librarian!) and was a total womanizer. I think the secret was that he would notice many unique things about a woman that were NOT looks based. He would make her feel special and like the only woman in the world without ever saying anything about her appearance since that would have given her all the power. Of course it was all bull since he jumped from woman to woman but it worked for him.

Creepy, and true. Making a woman feel seen and appreciated ups your attractiveness score considerably. But if you're not going to sustain it (because you're just trying to manipulate her, not actually connect), the drop will be brutal when she figures it out (and she will).

Anonymous wrote:I "knew" a man who weighed 130 pounds, looked like Crispin Glover and had no money (worked as a librarian!) and was a total womanizer. I think the secret was that he would notice many unique things about a woman that were NOT looks based. He would make her feel special and like the only woman in the world without ever saying anything about her appearance since that would have given her all the power. Of course it was all bull since he jumped from woman to woman but it worked for him.

When I was 22, I "dated" an underemployed bartender who was 5'4". He was decent looking, but his main qualities were that he was the most attentive partner. He really took the time to get to know people, not in a superficial way, and then would reflect his knowledge back to you in ways. Like, he'd remember that you said XYZ was a significant song for you, and then he sings that song at karaoke and dedicates it to you (this happened a couple times with that guy). He was also a very, very attentive lover, and when I noted that (with appreciation) he basically said, "Well, I know I'm short and broke, I had to have something going for me."

He encouraged me to figure out my boundaries and my wants and needs. He discouraged me from doing what other people wanted or what I thought they wanted.

Confidence, charisma, financial stability.

Anonymous wrote:I "knew" a man who weighed 130 pounds, looked like Crispin Glover and had no money (worked as a librarian!) and was a total womanizer. I think the secret was that he would notice many unique things about a woman that were NOT looks based. He would make her feel special and like the only woman in the world without ever saying anything about her appearance since that would have given her all the power. Of course it was all bull since he jumped from woman to woman but it worked for him.

+1. Make her feel special, it is not hard guys.