Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 11:13     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:I texted my adult DS yesterday to tell him I saw a story on the news (in my area) that an air fryer caught on fire. It was not baking anything at the time. The news story mentioned to keep it unplugged when not in use. Have I become the parent OP mentioned?? Give it to me straight, I can take it.


I have a constant negative-news sharer parent and I don't see this as being the same. Recall or fire harzard info that's been in the news on a product I own- that's relevant and potentially-useful information.

Now if you're texting your son multiple times a week with warnings on any product he's ever owned, been around, or walked past in Target, that's different.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 10:44     Subject: Re:Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Sadly, if your parents are 70+ there could be a lot of bad news in their lives and that is their world.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 10:05     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
It’s hard. My college-aged son laughs at me when I complain about the crime in Bethesda. But it’s real, it’s happening and it scares me.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 09:46     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
I think the issue is, our parents run out of stuff to talk to us about, but they want to talk to us, so they bring up whatever happens to have gotten their attention recently. For some reason, they have a hard time engaging with us on *our* lives. And it does feel very impersonal and almost non sequitur.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 09:44     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
My mom goes on long tangents about the other people who live in her retirement home. I don't know any of these people. Hey, did you hear Jerry's wife died? Umm, who is Jerry? He lives on 5th floor. And every week someone is passing away.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 09:42     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Or your dad?

I mean actual news stories, not updates from people you or your parent knows. And usually not about current events, like what's happening on the world stage, or in your or your parent's town.

I mean along the lines of, usually without context, a screenshot of a news story about a gory public suicide ten states over, or a whole family drowning while on vacation overseas, or really any freak accident that takes place anywhere between Indiana and Indonesia.

Perhaps sometimes the news is more... relevant, like when you're pregnant, so your mom starts to include news stories being sent about crazed women "befriending" a pregnant woman only to carve the fetus out of the womb to claim as her own. Or when your brother is on his honeymoon in Mexico, so the news stories hitting the family group chat switch to screenshots of a drowning at the very beach upon which the newlyweds now frolic, or cartel violence anywhere in Mexico.

If you have this kind of mom or dad, I'm wondering what they are like otherwise- are they generally kind and caring people? Or a narcissist? Or majorly anxious, but well meaning? Do you see it as an extension of his or her love for you ("once you become a parent, the worry never stops, even when they're grown!"), or something else?

I'm curious.


Good parents too can have anxiety and paranoia. Actually since they care too much about their kids, they are more likely to be afraid for them and sharing such news so kids can stay safe.


Yes, but also a truly good parent recognizes when their anxiety and paranoia is problematic and they get professional help rathern than dumping it onto a kid.


Omg we’re all adults here. If you can’t handle someone else talking about current events then I think you’re the one with the problem.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 09:39     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:I texted my adult DS yesterday to tell him I saw a story on the news (in my area) that an air fryer caught on fire. It was not baking anything at the time. The news story mentioned to keep it unplugged when not in use. Have I become the parent OP mentioned?? Give it to me straight, I can take it.


I find stories like this very interesting. Should we not be talking about plane crashes in Russia when they make the national news? What about any story involving a Florida Man? Mass shootings that are not in your town - taboo? I don’t understand what the problem is. There is a thread about the Kansas Comity Chiefs fans who died after watching the game. Should that be deleted? I mean none of us live in Kansas City…
I get the pregnant PP and her mom telling her about the fetus that was cut out of another pregnant lady. That’s inappropriate. But otherwise it’s just news.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 09:33     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Or your dad?

I mean actual news stories, not updates from people you or your parent knows. And usually not about current events, like what's happening on the world stage, or in your or your parent's town.

I mean along the lines of, usually without context, a screenshot of a news story about a gory public suicide ten states over, or a whole family drowning while on vacation overseas, or really any freak accident that takes place anywhere between Indiana and Indonesia.

Perhaps sometimes the news is more... relevant, like when you're pregnant, so your mom starts to include news stories being sent about crazed women "befriending" a pregnant woman only to carve the fetus out of the womb to claim as her own. Or when your brother is on his honeymoon in Mexico, so the news stories hitting the family group chat switch to screenshots of a drowning at the very beach upon which the newlyweds now frolic, or cartel violence anywhere in Mexico.

If you have this kind of mom or dad, I'm wondering what they are like otherwise- are they generally kind and caring people? Or a narcissist? Or majorly anxious, but well meaning? Do you see it as an extension of his or her love for you ("once you become a parent, the worry never stops, even when they're grown!"), or something else?

I'm curious.


Good parents too can have anxiety and paranoia. Actually since they care too much about their kids, they are more likely to be afraid for them and sharing such news so kids can stay safe.


Yes, but also a truly good parent recognizes when their anxiety and paranoia is problematic and they get professional help rathern than dumping it onto a kid.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 09:32     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes. My mom does this.

And even worse, at family gatherings, the conversation will be rolling. Talking about one of the grand's soccer games or the HS play or just anything light and casual and then she jumps in:

"Two teens died in a car accident last weekend"

"Oh, wow, Mom, did they live in your neighborhood? I didn't hear of this"

"No, they were from West Virginia. Just so sad"

"Oh, yeah....that is sad"


Omg! This was my mom this past Xmas.

“My bank (TD) was robbed!”
“Wow! The branch you go to?”
“No, the one in <town 30 miles away>.”
Cut to my WTF face…



"Cut to my WTF face" made me giggle. Yes, my mom does this and it is as others have said anxiety, boredom and attention seeking. She gets indignant when people either directly or indirectly set boundaries with her for doing it. I could handle it and laugh to myself at her dramatics when I had less stress, but when someone takes your stressor and has to tell you every worst case scenario and refuses to stop it crosses into disturbing. I have several family members like this and they think they are the most supportive and empathetic people on the planet and don't understand why nobody who is undergoing a hard time will return their calls/texts or visit them.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 08:27     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:I texted my adult DS yesterday to tell him I saw a story on the news (in my area) that an air fryer caught on fire. It was not baking anything at the time. The news story mentioned to keep it unplugged when not in use. Have I become the parent OP mentioned?? Give it to me straight, I can take it.


The Geico commercial hit way to close to home for me.

Can anyone relate? https://x.com/Thomas_Carrieri/status/1751419843222364546?s=20

Anonymous
Post 02/01/2024 08:19     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:Or your dad?

I mean actual news stories, not updates from people you or your parent knows. And usually not about current events, like what's happening on the world stage, or in your or your parent's town.

I mean along the lines of, usually without context, a screenshot of a news story about a gory public suicide ten states over, or a whole family drowning while on vacation overseas, or really any freak accident that takes place anywhere between Indiana and Indonesia.

Perhaps sometimes the news is more... relevant, like when you're pregnant, so your mom starts to include news stories being sent about crazed women "befriending" a pregnant woman only to carve the fetus out of the womb to claim as her own. Or when your brother is on his honeymoon in Mexico, so the news stories hitting the family group chat switch to screenshots of a drowning at the very beach upon which the newlyweds now frolic, or cartel violence anywhere in Mexico.

If you have this kind of mom or dad, I'm wondering what they are like otherwise- are they generally kind and caring people? Or a narcissist? Or majorly anxious, but well meaning? Do you see it as an extension of his or her love for you ("once you become a parent, the worry never stops, even when they're grown!"), or something else?

I'm curious.


Good parents too can have anxiety and paranoia. Actually since they care too much about their kids, they are more likely to be afraid for them and sharing such news so kids can stay safe.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 14:39     Subject: Re:Does your mom habitually share negative news?
My mother is 85 and spends way too much time watching Fox News and she has the need to tell me everything she has heard. Now she thinks Taylor Swift is an agent of the government. I either politely hang up or when I visit her look at much watch and tell her I’m late for something.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 14:36     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So some of you have parents who do this who are otherwise kind/caring people, just rather anxious and/or bored? That's what I'm wondering.

Or do they also generally revel in the misfortunes of others (their children, spouse, "friends," coworkers?)


The former. Also they can't read the room.


This is OP- thank you. It's interesting to know that!

At first I thought this was a unique trait of my mom's, then saw a meme and learned many other parents do it too. I then assumed everyone who does this is a general schadenfreude-ster like my mom, but this thread is teaching me otherwise!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 14:31     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
Anonymous wrote:There was a period she would tell long sad stories that ended with "and then he/she died" but it was about some sad soul she once knew. Somehow the tragic stories were endless, how did she know so many ill fated people


My dad tells me stories of friends of friends, so it’s not even people he knows. But he starts with a long intro - “you know the Coopers next door? Their son now lives in CA. He works for Apple, really smart! He went to MIT, you know. Well, his boss’s father in law was crossing the street and hit by a car! He survived but now they have to amputate his leg. And he was supporting his sister’s orphan son. It’s just awful!”

I had to put a clear limit that I only want to hear about people in his life that he personally knows lol.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 14:28     Subject: Does your mom habitually share negative news?
I texted my adult DS yesterday to tell him I saw a story on the news (in my area) that an air fryer caught on fire. It was not baking anything at the time. The news story mentioned to keep it unplugged when not in use. Have I become the parent OP mentioned?? Give it to me straight, I can take it.