If only attend if this was a Friday or a child/family that my child was very close to

I get my kid from preschool at 5, so I’m still working at 4, it’s be a no from me.

But - even if it was a time that was feasible (5 or 5:30) it would be a no from us because it was just be too much for my kid. He’s only just turned 4, he’s at school from 8:30-5 and it’s a LOT for him. He honestly needs an hour in the evening to push his trucks around and unwind.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry Op! It is soo stressful when people don't RSVP. And I can tell how much you tried to make this doable even with the weekday, very generous of you to include siblings! I think the weekday is also tough and I will also share that in the future I would do an evite. I have only had I think one paper invitation in my 3 or 6 year olds lives so far, and I think it probably makes it harder to RSVP and that is likely the issue! With the evites it is easy to send out reminders and people can remember later, go back to their email or text and find it to do the RSVP. You can send the invites by phone numbers if you don't have their emails (though I have found this wayy harder in the past because it is hard to find it later!!!! Much prefer email if you can).

That all being said, you can't change that now but I think it would be totally fine to send a text to the group again (since it was a paper invite) after today to anyone you haven't heard from. "Hi! Larlo's mom here. Please let me know if you are able to join on xx for Larlo's birthday party. I know weeknights can be tough, please feel free to bring siblings and we'll have pizza, cake.." etc. It's a little desperate but who cares you don't know the parents yet anyway

I agree it does get tougher with older kids. With my older son we would have done this, with younger we might be picking up older kid etc and it just gets more complicated for some reason.

Yes, I think this is what OP should do at this point. And OP, best of luck -- you are obviously trying really hard and I hope it works out okay! I wouldn't be surprised if a last minute nudge gets some results. Different parents have different habits; with evites I've been in groups where people respond asap and I've also been in groups where lots of people respond on or after the deadline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they paper or electronic invites?

I first texted the class group chat because a school closure meant the paper invites were delayed but I wanted to let people know ASAP, and put the paper invites in cubbies a few days later. Nobody does the electronic invites to my knowledge.

OP it seems like you don't know the culture of this class. When my kids were that age, no way would a weekday party work (working parents, multiple pick ups, possibly an activity for a kid, etc.) I'm sorry this hasn't worked out. The fact that you didn't get a response to the text AND the paper invites indicates that the parents were probably confused by the fact there was a birthday party right after daycare/pre-school pick up. Yes, they're rude for not replying at all.

And that the parents have ZERO idea who you are.

This is a silly response - my kids in preschool knew the other kids, so if I got a birthday invitation to Ella's birthday, I'd ask "Is there an Ella in your class" and they would tell me about Ella. Agree that it is SO rude that people wouldn't reply at all -- perhaps check the cubbies to make sure they got picked up. Our preschool did folders, so invitations were put in each child's folder with their daily artwork and not every parent checked the folder regularly.

Based on the helicoptering by parents on this site, it's NOT silly. Some people want blood and hair samples before they'll socialize.

I find this site to be full of helicoptering, but I don’t think it’s helicoptering to be hesitant to drop off a preschooler in a public place (as opposed to a home or some place like My Gym where everyone is invited) with someone the parents haven’t met.

I do think people are being very rude to not RSVP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they paper or electronic invites?

I first texted the class group chat because a school closure meant the paper invites were delayed but I wanted to let people know ASAP, and put the paper invites in cubbies a few days later. Nobody does the electronic invites to my knowledge.

OP it seems like you don't know the culture of this class. When my kids were that age, no way would a weekday party work (working parents, multiple pick ups, possibly an activity for a kid, etc.) I'm sorry this hasn't worked out. The fact that you didn't get a response to the text AND the paper invites indicates that the parents were probably confused by the fact there was a birthday party right after daycare/pre-school pick up. Yes, they're rude for not replying at all.

And that the parents have ZERO idea who you are.

This is a silly response - my kids in preschool knew the other kids, so if I got a birthday invitation to Ella's birthday, I'd ask "Is there an Ella in your class" and they would tell me about Ella. Agree that it is SO rude that people wouldn't reply at all -- perhaps check the cubbies to make sure they got picked up. Our preschool did folders, so invitations were put in each child's folder with their daily artwork and not every parent checked the folder regularly.

Based on the helicoptering by parents on this site, it's NOT silly. Some people want blood and hair samples before they'll socialize.

I'm so sorry Op! It is soo stressful when people don't RSVP. And I can tell how much you tried to make this doable even with the weekday, very generous of you to include siblings! I think the weekday is also tough and I will also share that in the future I would do an evite. I have only had I think one paper invitation in my 3 or 6 year olds lives so far, and I think it probably makes it harder to RSVP and that is likely the issue! With the evites it is easy to send out reminders and people can remember later, go back to their email or text and find it to do the RSVP. You can send the invites by phone numbers if you don't have their emails (though I have found this wayy harder in the past because it is hard to find it later!!!! Much prefer email if you can).

That all being said, you can't change that now but I think it would be totally fine to send a text to the group again (since it was a paper invite) after today to anyone you haven't heard from. "Hi! Larlo's mom here. Please let me know if you are able to join on xx for Larlo's birthday party. I know weeknights can be tough, please feel free to bring siblings and we'll have pizza, cake.." etc. It's a little desperate but who cares you don't know the parents yet anyway

I agree it does get tougher with older kids. With my older son we would have done this, with younger we might be picking up older kid etc and it just gets more complicated for some reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they paper or electronic invites?

I first texted the class group chat because a school closure meant the paper invites were delayed but I wanted to let people know ASAP, and put the paper invites in cubbies a few days later. Nobody does the electronic invites to my knowledge.

OP it seems like you don't know the culture of this class. When my kids were that age, no way would a weekday party work (working parents, multiple pick ups, possibly an activity for a kid, etc.) I'm sorry this hasn't worked out. The fact that you didn't get a response to the text AND the paper invites indicates that the parents were probably confused by the fact there was a birthday party right after daycare/pre-school pick up. Yes, they're rude for not replying at all.

And that the parents have ZERO idea who you are.

This is a silly response - my kids in preschool knew the other kids, so if I got a birthday invitation to Ella's birthday, I'd ask "Is there an Ella in your class" and they would tell me about Ella. Agree that it is SO rude that people wouldn't reply at all -- perhaps check the cubbies to make sure they got picked up. Our preschool did folders, so invitations were put in each child's folder with their daily artwork and not every parent checked the folder regularly.

I agree. We don’t see most of the other parents at drop off/pickup due to our schedules but we always go to the class parties and people came to ours. Parents usually post an Evite link in the group chat though. We’ve never gotten any paper invitations.

(That said, weekdays are hard, I would not be likely to attend a weekday party unless it was my child's bestest friend. I would RSVP though.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they paper or electronic invites?

I first texted the class group chat because a school closure meant the paper invites were delayed but I wanted to let people know ASAP, and put the paper invites in cubbies a few days later. Nobody does the electronic invites to my knowledge.

OP it seems like you don't know the culture of this class. When my kids were that age, no way would a weekday party work (working parents, multiple pick ups, possibly an activity for a kid, etc.) I'm sorry this hasn't worked out. The fact that you didn't get a response to the text AND the paper invites indicates that the parents were probably confused by the fact there was a birthday party right after daycare/pre-school pick up. Yes, they're rude for not replying at all.

And that the parents have ZERO idea who you are.

This is a silly response - my kids in preschool knew the other kids, so if I got a birthday invitation to Ella's birthday, I'd ask "Is there an Ella in your class" and they would tell me about Ella. Agree that it is SO rude that people wouldn't reply at all -- perhaps check the cubbies to make sure they got picked up. Our preschool did folders, so invitations were put in each child's folder with their daily artwork and not every parent checked the folder regularly.

I would send out an evite reminder via email or text. No one is getting paper invites or if they are, they are probably on the floor of their car somewhere.

The suggestion of dropping off my preschooler with a parent I don't know in a public place like Chuck E. Cheese would make me really uncomfortable. Add on a very hard time of the day for most people with multiple kids, and I would probably skip it, although I would reach out and maybe suggest a playdate or something.

That's a little crazy for preschool age students. It's a really long day, plus chucky cheese get kids all riled up when I'm sure parents are going to be going dinner and bedtime routine. I've only gone to one weekday party with my kids and they were a little older. I'm not a fan.

This is a hard time of day on any day of the week for that age group. But especially during the work week. I've seen weekend parties at this time (rarely) and they aren't well attended.

But yes it was rude of people not to RSVP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they paper or electronic invites?

I first texted the class group chat because a school closure meant the paper invites were delayed but I wanted to let people know ASAP, and put the paper invites in cubbies a few days later. Nobody does the electronic invites to my knowledge.

OP it seems like you don't know the culture of this class. When my kids were that age, no way would a weekday party work (working parents, multiple pick ups, possibly an activity for a kid, etc.) I'm sorry this hasn't worked out. The fact that you didn't get a response to the text AND the paper invites indicates that the parents were probably confused by the fact there was a birthday party right after daycare/pre-school pick up. Yes, they're rude for not replying at all.

And that the parents have ZERO idea who you are.

This is the biggest problem. You’ve overcome some of the big logistical hurdles but it’s still asking parents to disrupt schedules at a difficult/stressful time of day and it’s unlikely they’ll do that for someone they don’t know well frankly.

I wonder if people thought it was Spam (text- I would) and then ditched the paper invites, didn't get them. I bet most are still sitting in the cubies.