Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 06:17     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of the worst days of my life was when my ex wife offered 1, 2 and 3.


What's wrong with Option 2? It's unfair to unilaterally impose celibacy on your partner if you've lost interest, but they have not without incurring resentment, and at least with an open marriage, you are honest about it from the start, so there's theoretically no breach of trust, and both partners are free to do the same thing. In theory, I like Option 2 because it seems to be the fairest solution.


I'm not saying options 1 or 2 are "wrong" in a moral sense but I wanted to have sex with my wife, not some other woman who was frustrated with her own husband. I felt like being offered those options meant that I wasn't loved, which was basically true. By then my ex wife loved me because I was a good provider and good father of her children. She didn't love me romantically. I get sad thinking about it. We were really great in the early years.


So there was a period of time that your relationship wasn’t sexless? Was she in agreement with the divorce?


And have you remarried or do you have a partner now?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 06:17     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of the worst days of my life was when my ex wife offered 1, 2 and 3.


What's wrong with Option 2? It's unfair to unilaterally impose celibacy on your partner if you've lost interest, but they have not without incurring resentment, and at least with an open marriage, you are honest about it from the start, so there's theoretically no breach of trust, and both partners are free to do the same thing. In theory, I like Option 2 because it seems to be the fairest solution.


I'm not saying options 1 or 2 are "wrong" in a moral sense but I wanted to have sex with my wife, not some other woman who was frustrated with her own husband. I felt like being offered those options meant that I wasn't loved, which was basically true. By then my ex wife loved me because I was a good provider and good father of her children. She didn't love me romantically. I get sad thinking about it. We were really great in the early years.


So there was a period of time that your relationship wasn’t sexless? Was she in agreement with the divorce?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2024 05:13     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of the worst days of my life was when my ex wife offered 1, 2 and 3.


What's wrong with Option 2? It's unfair to unilaterally impose celibacy on your partner if you've lost interest, but they have not without incurring resentment, and at least with an open marriage, you are honest about it from the start, so there's theoretically no breach of trust, and both partners are free to do the same thing. In theory, I like Option 2 because it seems to be the fairest solution.


I'm not saying options 1 or 2 are "wrong" in a moral sense but I wanted to have sex with my wife, not some other woman who was frustrated with her own husband. I felt like being offered those options meant that I wasn't loved, which was basically true. By then my ex wife loved me because I was a good provider and good father of her children. She didn't love me romantically. I get sad thinking about it. We were really great in the early years.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 19:44     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:Many years without. I said open marriage until kids are in college (because we would divorce then anyway). He said divorce. We are divorced.


So you were no longer interested in sex? Curious why not?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 19:35     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Many years without. I said open marriage until kids are in college (because we would divorce then anyway). He said divorce. We are divorced.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 19:19     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Depends why and how long it’s been/can reasonably be expected to go. If I just gave birth or have cancer, you should suck it up for a while. If it’s just an unexplained lack of interest that’s been going on/discussed openly as an issue for years then divorce.


My wife put me in my place over this she had given birth and wasnt in the mood. I kept asking and asking.


The minimum time for abstaining from sex postpartum is six weeks, from a medical perspective.

Why did you keep asking and asking?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 19:17     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think DADT, but that is probably because I am very high libido and don’t realistically think I would ever be on the other side of this situation.


What’s DADT?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 19:15     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:I think DADT, but that is probably because I am very high libido and don’t realistically think I would ever be on the other side of this situation.


What’s DADT?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 19:06     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Take another lover. Preferably same sex. And definitely not someone they would fall in love with.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 18:45     Subject: Re:If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
If I was no longer interested because I didn’t love my husband we’d get divorced.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 18:38     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
I’d give them the option of divorce. I don’t want to be in a DADT marriage and also don’t want my partner to be resentful of me.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 18:29     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:I’d want my spouse to help me get interested in sex again! Meds, romantic dates, exercise, toys, new places, new positions….


When PIV became very painful for me and meds weren’t the solution we just moved on to other forms of sex and we are both very happy. I never lost my interest.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 18:18     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
I’d want my spouse to help me get interested in sex again! Meds, romantic dates, exercise, toys, new places, new positions….
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 17:32     Subject: If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh god. Again? This topic has been beaten to death on this forum. What a lame troll.


DP.

Why are you so threatened by OP’s question? Serious question for you, PP.


not pp. Not threatened. Just bored by the same old questions.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2024 17:27     Subject: Re:If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?
Nothing.
He doesn't cheat and is deathly afraid of catching a herpes bearing gold digger.