You want me to be honest? Deep down -- I find it pathetic. But I would never say that out loud.

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by a quote by Nicole Kosman’s character from the Expats. What do you truly think about women who just want to stay home, tend to the family and are happiest doing this if they can afford to?

What do you think, Op?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends HOW they do it. My mother was a SAHM and our house was always dirty and she was always laying on the couch in her nightgown watching soaps and talk shows when I came home. It wasn't some super clean house with cookies fresh from the oven after school. She never made me breakfast. She never decorated the house for any holidays. She often "forgot" to take anything out to defrost for dinner and we scrambled to pull together a meal.

So someone like that, I don't feel good. A friend of mine is a SAHM and she gets dressed each morning when her kids do, makes them breakfast, makes their lunches with them, keeps up the house, is always arranging play dates, does holiday decor, makes homemade treats for her kids to pass out to their classes for their birthdays, invites people over spontaneously, etc. She's a great SAHM. She treats it like a full time job.

I do all that and I work, so am I a superhuman (yes, yes we are).

That is a myth. You can do a lot of things but you are not giving maximum time to your children. Quality and Quantity. Own it.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think about them.

I do think about them once who are divorced or widowed because people make go fund me accounts and I think, nope.

This is real scarcity mindset. No one who is doing well financially when married is doing gofundme b/c of a divorce.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think about them.

I do think about them once who are divorced or widowed because people make go fund me accounts and I think, nope.

But you do get to feel smug and superior so they are adding to your quality of life, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what their Plan B is when the kids leave for college or if a divorce happens.

PP here whose wife is a SAHM. If divorce happens she gets half the assets + child support, and in some states alimony. I mean good grief she'll be fine. The idea that she should work some soul-sucking job just in case of divorce doesn't even pencil out.

What if you decide to spend down all the assets and quit your job.

You think reasonable dudes are getting divorced?

Honestly, I do not care.

I am puzzled why others do but never surprised how easily some women judge other women for making different choices.

Why do you care what other people do?

I don’t think about them.

I do think about them once who are divorced or widowed because people make go fund me accounts and I think, nope.

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what their Plan B is when the kids leave for college or if a divorce happens.

PP here whose wife is a SAHM. If divorce happens she gets half the assets + child support, and in some states alimony. I mean good grief she'll be fine. The idea that she should work some soul-sucking job just in case of divorce doesn't even pencil out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

No one cares what you think.

Hahaha. You clearly do otherwise you wouldn’t call it out with a reply. You would’ve simply ‘risen above.’

I get zero fulfillment from work personally, none. I do it for the money. I would feel fantastic having more time to workout, read, paint, garden...To me that is a much fuller life than mine now. I assume most women who are "just wives and moms" have such hobbies in addition to taking care of their families.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

No one cares what you think.

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

Anonymous wrote:It depends HOW they do it. My mother was a SAHM and our house was always dirty and she was always laying on the couch in her nightgown watching soaps and talk shows when I came home. It wasn't some super clean house with cookies fresh from the oven after school. She never made me breakfast. She never decorated the house for any holidays. She often "forgot" to take anything out to defrost for dinner and we scrambled to pull together a meal.

So someone like that, I don't feel good. A friend of mine is a SAHM and she gets dressed each morning when her kids do, makes them breakfast, makes their lunches with them, keeps up the house, is always arranging play dates, does holiday decor, makes homemade treats for her kids to pass out to their classes for their birthdays, invites people over spontaneously, etc. She's a great SAHM. She treats it like a full time job.

I'm married to one. She's amazing. She gets up at 4:20, at the gym by 5:15. While she's gone I get up and make breakfast, get the kids ready for the day. She returns from the gym, I go to work, she starts teaching the kids. Takes them to ski club (where she volunteers), swim, etc. Yeah, I know, we have 4 kids and homeschool so DCUM thinks we're wacko extremists. But really, public school sucks, Catholic school was meh, with homeschooling there are now more options than there are at most schools. All 4 kids have some live online classes, in-home piano lessons, math tutoring from a local engineering student, etc.

Obviously I'm the breadwinner but I try to keep it to 40 hours so I can help with meals, weeknight activities, etc.

Our perspective is that her time is so valuable that we can't afford for her to work elsewhere. I know I'm being annoying by bragging on her, but it definitely works for us and I think more people would be happy doing this if they could get over the perceived social stigma.

I think their kids are lucky.