Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave her the fear speech and told her if she got knocked up she would forever be tied to this boy and his family, as would we. And that she shouldn’t be cavalier about having an abortion, although that remains a choice (at least for now, legally speaking).

Knocked up? You sound like this it's the 1950’s. Most teens don’t keep a pregnancy.

NP. I also do not think one should be cavalier about abortion or giving birth then giving up the child for adoption.

Honestly I think the fear speech + making sure there’s access to contraceptives—simply because she’s leaving for college in a few months and will be away from your supervision soon anyway.

If she was younger I’d be giving you a different answer. But it’s going to be out of your hands in a few months so I don’t think it’s worth a big conflict to try and stop it at this point.

Parents are never going to stop a teen from having sex if they want to. And you definitely aren't going to get them to stop if they are already started and are still with the same person.

Anonymous wrote:Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advice for me?

OP what are your morals. Wait until marriage or wait another 6 months and have sex each week in her dorm with a new guy? I mean this sounds about as healthy as a 17yr old can get. I would tell my DD I was proud of her, but I would also tell her sexual intimacy is a whole different realm and to be careful about how serious she feels vs what they tell everyone. Most girls get pretty wrapped up in the emotional side of things. Many guys do too, but girls definitely more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave her the fear speech and told her if she got knocked up she would forever be tied to this boy and his family, as would we. And that she shouldn’t be cavalier about having an abortion, although that remains a choice (at least for now, legally speaking).

Knocked up? You sound like this it's the 1950’s. Most teens don’t keep a pregnancy.

NP. I also do not think one should be cavalier about abortion or giving birth then giving up the child for adoption.

Honestly I think the fear speech + making sure there’s access to contraceptives—simply because she’s leaving for college in a few months and will be away from your supervision soon anyway.

If she was younger I’d be giving you a different answer. But it’s going to be out of your hands in a few months so I don’t think it’s worth a big conflict to try and stop it at this point.

My 15yr old is having sex. She's on the pill. I tell her she needs to still use condoms and have her BF pull out.

I am glad she told me she was thinking about so I could put her on the pill. They have been together 9 months and she has been on the pill for 4 months now.

No one wants to think their own kids will start doing this and you can preach abstinence, waiting, not going all the way, STD's, pregnancy, etc... but the fact is teens have sex. Lots of sex. And I rather know my kids have protection and can come talk to me than have my head up my a$$ and think they are perfect angels.

Your parents had sex as teens, so did we, and so will our kids and grandkids. Some earlier than others. No shaming - just education and hoping everything will be ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

DOUBLE birth control. Teens are super fertile. Any birth control has a 1-5% failure rate with perfect use.

signed,
ob/gyn

And teens are super fertile because this is when their eggs and sperm are the healthiest and centuries ago all 17yr olds were moms by now.

But the fact is, extremely fertile means extremely horny. I mean would you rather her sleep with a new guy every weekend? She clearly enjoys sex as do most teens (male and female) It’s pleasurable. She seems honest about her intentions. Why are shaming her? I had a boyfriend at 17yr old and we were like rabbits. LOL

You are bat sh%&t insane. No where did i shame her or even tell her to stop having sex.
I said double up on birth control. I honestly advise most women to do this if they're not okay with an unintended pregnancy.
Birth control fails. A lot.

I was talking to OP - not you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First thing on Monday morning make an appointment for her to get an IUD. It sounds like you raised a mature, responsible DD. Sex is normal at age 17, OP.

Not your decision and no OBGYN will forcibly implant an IUD in a 17 year old without her consent. She can call and make the appointment herself, if she so desires.

Forcibly implant an IUD? WHAT? Why would you think this was something forced on her? Helping her navigate this is being a great mom, not doing something without her consent. The assumption is that the daughter would not want to be pregnant and getting an IUD is the best way to avoid this. Some people on DCUM are so combative. You must be a lot of fun to be around in real life, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

DOUBLE birth control. Teens are super fertile. Any birth control has a 1-5% failure rate with perfect use.

signed,
ob/gyn

And teens are super fertile because this is when their eggs and sperm are the healthiest and centuries ago all 17yr olds were moms by now.

But the fact is, extremely fertile means extremely horny. I mean would you rather her sleep with a new guy every weekend? She clearly enjoys sex as do most teens (male and female) It’s pleasurable. She seems honest about her intentions. Why are shaming her? I had a boyfriend at 17yr old and we were like rabbits. LOL

You are bat sh%&t insane. No where did i shame her or even tell her to stop having sex.
I said double up on birth control. I honestly advise most women to do this if they're not okay with an unintended pregnancy.
Birth control fails. A lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advise for me?

I'm not sure what your daughter's sexuality has to do with your morals but ymmv.

She's being careful. She is not getting serious before leaving for college. Sounds like she is able to advocate for herself.
I

Really? Are you dumb or being deliberately obtuse. Serious question.

Not to mention that it’s just speech. It’s overwhelmingly likely to be a boy since gays are only like 2% of the population.

Nope your personal feelings and morality about sex have absolutely nothing to do with your almost adult daughters sexuality. Her sexuality is hers. You can educate her, support her, etc. But having sex is not amoral. If she is having protected consensual sex you should be proud not disgusted

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

DOUBLE birth control. Teens are super fertile. Any birth control has a 1-5% failure rate with perfect use.

signed,
ob/gyn

And teens are super fertile because this is when their eggs and sperm are the healthiest and centuries ago all 17yr olds were moms by now.

But the fact is, extremely fertile means extremely horny. I mean would you rather her sleep with a new guy every weekend? She clearly enjoys sex as do most teens (male and female) It’s pleasurable. She seems honest about her intentions. Why are shaming her? I had a boyfriend at 17yr old and we were like rabbits. LOL

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

Exactly!

OP the fact that you are offended and disgusted speaks volumes. Why can’t the boy come over?

Sounds very mature. Most 17yr olds are having sex. I mean there are two middle school girls in my DC’s school.

Teens have sex and a lot of it. College they have even more

Anonymous wrote:First thing on Monday morning make an appointment for her to get an IUD. It sounds like you raised a mature, responsible DD. Sex is normal at age 17, OP.

Not your decision and no OBGYN will forcibly implant an IUD in a 17 year old without her consent. She can call and make the appointment herself, if she so desires.

OP, I get your feeling and I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:I gave her the fear speech and told her if she got knocked up she would forever be tied to this boy and his family, as would we. And that she shouldn’t be cavalier about having an abortion, although that remains a choice (at least for now, legally speaking).

Knocked up? You sound like this it's the 1950’s. Most teens don’t keep a pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

DOUBLE birth control. Teens are super fertile. Any birth control has a 1-5% failure rate with perfect use.

signed,
ob/gyn