I'm assuming the lower performing one is a boy and you don't want to hurt his ego? Nah, I have no shame in telling my son what's up. He wants to go to MIT. I went to MIT and I lecture him, on a regular basis, that that did not happen without tremendous effort on my part. If he wants it he needs to get it. That said, I wouldn't lecture him if he was ambitious. He's not. He needs to learn that achievement takes hard work.

Anonymous wrote:I have g/g twins in HS who just took PSAT. Same twin who got a great score is also in varsity sport and has a profile, and one is not, plays Rec only. One twin is getting lots of mail from colleges, the other nothing.

Hard to watch.

oof that is tough. My sympathies. My b/g twins got identical PSAT schools. Their SAT/ACT scores, also nearly identical. Not sure how I would have dealt with that if they were very different!

Anonymous wrote:I have g/g twins in HS who just took PSAT. Same twin who got a great score is also in varsity sport and has a profile, and one is not, plays Rec only. One twin is getting lots of mail from colleges, the other nothing.

Hard to watch.

You could always go to some websites of schools you think the twin not getting mail would be interested in and sign them up to receive information. And you could do that without telling the twin you did it. And it would have the bonus of introducing them to schools that might be a good fit for them.

But my general advice is to find a school that has something that would appeal to each of them individually (a likely/safety). Even if it's based on location - does one like live music, or a sports team, or museums, or whatever. A particular program that one would find interesting. Anything that makes it a good fit for that student. And talk it up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two kids in college at the same time, you get aid from Private schools.

Go for private schools.

Not likely. I have four in college and we never got aid - what they believe you can pay is laughable. I believe they also changed the rule on this recently.

What schools??

I have 3 kids in college right now at 3 different private schools.
All had discounts, so almost close to UVA instate.

Georgetown and Wellesley
It may depend on how competitive it is - none of the top privates offered much aid

Got generous aid from Notre Dame - cheaper than UVA In-State.
We have close to 300K HHI - part of the aid condition was siblings in colleges.

I have twins who are juniors in college and went to the same school, which was somewhat surprising to us at the time. They are VERY different, sounds like yours, also b/g (not fertility but genetics for the nosy nancy's). My DS was a very strong student, top 10 in his class and solid but not exciting ECs. Sport captain and just a member of a bunch of different clubs but very underwhelming. GPA was higher than his sisters. My DD is less of a strong student, though just as smart. It was she that was selected for the G&T program, not my son, but she is not as committed so while her GPA was also good (top 10% of her class), it was not as strong as the sibling. Both scores on SAT and ACT creepily similar. DD has way more leadership and also a national level of experience in her somewhat unique sport.

They has a pretty divergent list of schools, just due to what they each wanted in college. Ended up applying ED to the same school and got in. My DD is 100% sure that the strong stat twin pulled her in, and she may not be wrong.

Even though they both decided on the same ED school, I never really worried about what would happen if one didn't get in, because they are so different and they seemed to know that themselves. my DS was pretty sure he'd get in, and my DD was pretty sure she wouldn't, and had already been accepted to two others that she liked that were not on her brothers list.

If I had an issue where one got in and one didn't, I'm not sure how we would have handled it other than to get excited about the options that they each had. My kids weren't too concerned honestly, but that may be because they did ED and didn't have a long time to stew about it.

I did read back then that most schools "prefer" to keep twins together if they both apply. I assume because it helps with yield.

Best of luck. I kind of agree with the other poster who said you've have a lifetime of this already, the inherent competition, and be thankful that you have very different kids, because they know that they are different too. They each forged their own path and now they should be looked at as individuals not a package in terms of where they decide to go, and if they can get in. If that makes sense. My DD knew she did not have the grades that my DS did. My DS knew that he didn't have the ECs that my DD did. They know these things, they have lived their lives with this sibling for 18 or so years. They know they are different and in many ways have strived to be different.

Anonymous wrote:Also have twins going through this process, with a much bigger divergence in terms of academic strength. One only applied to, and has been admitted to, a small college in FL specifically for kids with learning disabilities, while her sister has applied to a range of 10 more typical options, mostly in-state in VA. There is huge amount of FOMO happening with DD1 as the acceptances continue to roll in for DD2. Fearing things will get worse as we get into Admitted Students Days season, as I already have 2 overnight trips planned for DD2, and probably will do at least 2 more, while DD1 will just have the one trip. Trying my best to reassure her that this school is a great fit for her, and to get her to focus on that rather than what is going on with her sister, but it is certainly a challenge. Lots of love and support is the only advice I can give. Hang in there, it will all be good at the end of the day!!!

I assume you're talking about Lynn in Boca Raton. As a current South Florida resident, I would just tell you to be careful with this one. The school may cater to students with learning disabilities, but its reputation is terrible in the region. I would even say it's a punchline. People call it "Lynndergarten." I can't imagine it is viewed any better in other parts of the country (assuming people have heard of it at all). I'm not telling you this to be disparaging or to discourage you but to encourage you and your daughter to explore other options before settling for Lynn just because she's LD. There are plenty of more reputable colleges that are known for supporting students with special needs. St. Joe's in Philly comes to mind. Really any Jesuit school. I've heard Elon is good, too. Just something to consider.

Mom of identical twins applying this year. It's hard. I don't really think there is much you can do to make it less hard. And right now (to them) it feels so much bigger than the other disappointments along the way. I had a friend doing this last year and she advised me not to let them have any overlap schools - which of course didn't work out.

We are just focusing on the differences - different majors, different ECs - that sort of thing. And reiterating what a crapshoot in can be (it has helped that some friends who are v. strong students have also received disappointing news. I mean, we're sad for the friends, but it helps them see that all of this is hard to predict). And we are also really talking up the schools that they have gotten into. But it is still hard and they will be sad.

I have g/g twins in HS who just took PSAT. Same twin who got a great score is also in varsity sport and has a profile, and one is not, plays Rec only. One twin is getting lots of mail from colleges, the other nothing.

Hard to watch.

I have girl/boys twins as well but mine are juniors. For a long time I had idea how their high school academic roads would work out but it looks like they'll end up with very similar GPAs.

So now I worry that one will get a dozen acceptances and the other will get none. Or one will get their dream scenario and other will get their last choice. With girl/boy twins almost everyone tells us that it wil be easier for my son to get in places than my daughter. That kind of sucks.

I'll be very glad when this is over. I figure they're about 11 months from the earliest ED notification. Not that I'm counting. But then when they leave I'll miss them terribly. We have a third child but the twins leaving at once will leave such a big void for the 3 of us who remain.

Just take the lead from them.
Maybe you typically would do a separate 1 on 1 lunch to discuss things - keep doing it.
I would also try not to focus on the collection of acceptances - but rather the fit of different programs for them based on their unique interests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two kids in college at the same time, you get aid from Private schools.

Go for private schools.

Not likely. I have four in college and we never got aid - what they believe you can pay is laughable. I believe they also changed the rule on this recently.

What schools??

I have 3 kids in college right now at 3 different private schools.
All had discounts, so almost close to UVA instate.

Georgetown and Wellesley
It may depend on how competitive it is - none of the top privates offered much aid

I don’t have twins, but as an outsider just wanted to express confidence in you and your kids to navigate this. You have a lifetime of practice, right? One twin gets invited to bday party and the other doesn’t. One makes their travel team and one gets cut. One has a date every weekend and the other has never been kissed. You and your kids handle it with love for each other and value for each other regardless of achievement, and you’ll do it this time, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two kids in college at the same time, you get aid from Private schools.

Go for private schools.

Not likely. I have four in college and we never got aid - what they believe you can pay is laughable. I believe they also changed the rule on this recently.

Also the change in the rule is for FAFSA and public schools.

Private schools still give you discounts for multiple kids in colleges.

Anonymous wrote:Also have twins going through this process, with a much bigger divergence in terms of academic strength. One only applied to, and has been admitted to, a small college in FL specifically for kids with learning disabilities, while her sister has applied to a range of 10 more typical options, mostly in-state in VA. There is huge amount of FOMO happening with DD1 as the acceptances continue to roll in for DD2. Fearing things will get worse as we get into Admitted Students Days season, as I already have 2 overnight trips planned for DD2, and probably will do at least 2 more, while DD1 will just have the one trip. Trying my best to reassure her that this school is a great fit for her, and to get her to focus on that rather than what is going on with her sister, but it is certainly a challenge. Lots of love and support is the only advice I can give. Hang in there, it will all be good at the end of the day!!!

PP, not to hijack but can you please share the name of the small school in FL for kids with disabilities?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two kids in college at the same time, you get aid from Private schools.

Go for private schools.

Not likely. I have four in college and we never got aid - what they believe you can pay is laughable. I believe they also changed the rule on this recently.

What schools??

I have 3 kids in college right now at 3 different private schools.
All had discounts, so almost close to UVA instate.