No. Sorry.

Nopety nope nope.

We would give it one year. We are trying at 39/38. Our first child born at 34/35 had health concerns that were identified at age 1. That slowed us down but we are now going for it.

I too am an older mother, so I understand your desire to have another baby. However, with your DH health issues, and the fact that there is no guarantee that your second child will or will not have special needs I would not. if you have two children and one has special needs, that will take a lot of your time and energy. If something happens to your husband. You will be all on your own.

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 41, DH is 45. It would be our second child, first born 4 years ago. DH has had some cardiac issues since then, which are controlled with medications. Would you be worried about the effect of daily, long term meds on the baby + our ages? TIA

I would talk to his doctor. Does your dh also want another child?

He’s not enthusiastic but he’d probably go along with it if I really wanted to. Since the stent placement he’s been doing well, and is active and energetic.

I wouldn’t because he’s not enthusiastic so he’d probably find it pretty stressful and you’d end up with a much greater burden. If you’re the primary parent even if you love being the primary parent, the switch from one to two can be really hard. And adding in that there’s a chance you’ll have to care for your husband too while your kids are minors I wouldn’t do it. I’m sorry.

This!

No way. With a partner that's not enthusiastic/onboard a second child could be very stressful for you both in terms of your relationship and your health (his and yours). Having two kids really is twice the work and requires the "backup" parent to step up a lot since you can't usually take care of two kids needs at the exact same time.

No way

If I really wanted it, DH was open, and financially you’d be able to support a family of three on your own, I’d probably do it. God for I’d if something did happen to DH having more of a family for you and DC could be a good thing for you all. I’d lean in on genetic testing though due to increased health related risks at your ages and additional stress special needs could bring to your situation.

My cousin with four kids lost their dad to heart disease at 50. Seeing how much of a support they all are for each other is heartening. As someone who lost a parent relatively young as well (early 20s) I’ve really valued my sibling relationships.

[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 41, DH is 45. It would be our second child, first born 4 years ago. DH has had some cardiac issues since then, which are controlled with medications. Would you be worried about the effect of daily, long term meds on the baby + our ages? TIA

I would talk to his doctor. Does your dh also want another child?

He’s not enthusiastic but he’d probably go along with it if I really wanted to. Since the stent placement he’s been doing well, and is active and energetic.

I wouldn’t because he’s not enthusiastic so he’d probably find it pretty stressful and you’d end up with a much greater burden. If you’re the primary parent even if you love being the primary parent, the switch from one to two can be really hard. And adding in that there’s a chance you’ll have to care for your husband too while your kids are minors I wouldn’t do it. I’m sorry.