Anonymous wrote:Apple, Banana, Oranges, Grapes

Don't buy anything special.

Exactly. We always have clementines or bananas around. If she doesn’t want that. She’s probably not that hungry.

Reach out to her mom. My kid has a lot of anaphylaxis allergies and I wouldn't allow her over at your house unless we've had a conversation about it first.

My 11yo has a friend allergic to dairy, nuts, shellfish. I’ve had her for dinner twice and snacks a couple times.
I’ve bought dairy free/nut free chocolate chips, melted them in the microwave and let the girks dip strawberries.. the friend loved this. I just keep the choc chips in the cupboard.
I’ve made vegan Rice Krispie treats that she can eat.
Won’t bore you with the dinners as that’s not what you’re asking…..but there’s things you shoujd be able to keep in the house that she can eat.

I would figure out a way to have a conversation with the parents- my guess is she was great at self managing this at some point so they dropped the rope and don’t realize that she’s out all afternoon w/out meds or home snacks.

Didn't you talk to her parent after she got violently ill at your house? That would've been the perfect time to ask them what guidelines you should follow when she's at your house. If that didn't happen, just ask them. Otherwise, don't allow her to have any food when she's with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who just read your follow up. Okay I'd just say no snacks.

Even after a long day at school? Often she stays until dinner when one of her parents picks her up!

I guess it’ll have to be chips and fruit.

She eats things that make her ill but does not carry meds with her. She's 12 but does not seem to have a good handle on her allergies. She's been to your house numerous times but none of the adults have had a conversation about what's safe for her to eat.

This whole situation just seems off.

My 6 year old knows to ask about ingredients and only eats things he's eaten safely before. When in doubt, he just does not eat anything at someone else's house. It's not that hard.

Just ask the parents what she can safely eat so you can have snacks for her that won't make her sick.

Fruit. Or ask the kid what she snacks on at home. Depending on how often she comes over, keep a non perishable snack on hand for her.

My peanut allergic kid will just not snack if he's not sure about what the friend has. It won't hurt him to skip an afternoon snack.

My dd likes to bake with her dairy allergic friend. So we keep non dairy butter substitute in the freezer.

Anonymous wrote:Do you not regularly have fruit, vegetables, cheese, pretzels in your house? Really? That's...interesting.

NP. Did you read the OP's post? Cheese = dairy.

As the parent of a child with an anaphylactic allergy to eggs, I would prefer someone in OP's situation to either not feed my child at all or ask me ahead of time what foods are safe for her. Plain fruits and veggies are a great option, provided child is not allergic to them. But I don't expect anyone else to take responsibility for feeding my children and, particularly for the one with the egg allergy, I don't necessarily trust others to feed her, either. There's just too much risk there. She travels everywhere with snacks and an epi pen, just in case.
My DD has known since she was just barely 3yo not to ask for or take food from anyone other than myself, my DH, or her daycare teacher. It is important to teach children with food allergies to be able to speak up and advocate for themselves early, to keep them safer. This child should be able to advocate for themselves; that's a key life-saving skill for food allergies.

If she wants a snack at your house, have her text the label or description of the item to her mother and get the ok.

Anonymous wrote:Apple, Banana, Oranges, Grapes

Don't buy anything special.

All of these things are things people can be allergic to.

I would ask her parents for the name brand, and a picture of the exact packaging of something shelf stable she can eat, and then stock up on that. Offer only that. Make sure your daughter knows not to offer anything else.

My kids have allergies, I never expect anyone else to be accommodating and it's 100% my kids' responsibilities to advocate for themselves while they are at someone else's house (they're 10 and up now). They carry epi pens and check labels, and when in doubt they don't eat something.

That said: even the most allergic kids can usually have something like a banana, an apple, a packaged fruit cup. Or, if you want to go the extra mile, you could keep a box of madegood brand snacks on hand (free from top allergens). Or simply figure out what the friend can eat and keep something simple on hand to accommodate. Lots of ways to figure this out instead of saying "no playdates with weird allergy kid friend."

Do you not regularly have fruit, vegetables, cheese, pretzels in your house? Really? That's...interesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a close friend and you want to
Go the extra mile, just text friend’s parent and ask what kind of snacks are good for the friend so you can have them available.

This! If your DD wants to have her over, buy some shelf stable things and make them only for when she visits, ask her to pack her own snacks, or serve fruit. Don't forbid her from coming over.

Obv. best thing to do it contact her parents or ask them when they pick her up?

I understand your concern, but banning her doesn't seem right

+1

This is NOT your concern, sorry, its not. She should be traveling with safe snacks bought by her parents.

Let her know she can come to the house for visits when she has safe snacks and/or get a list of 2-3 safe fruits for her. No one has dairy free milk or treats or snacks for my kid, and do not expect them to. Hes 5 and knows not to eat food provided by someone else.