Anonymous wrote:Just turned 50 and I live with regrets daily. There is so much I regret and honestly it eats me up. I need to find a way out of thinking about it constantly as it’s really not healthy

You made the best decisions you could make at the time with the information you had or what you felt was right. Unless there is something you can do and want to do to change one of the past decisions, you have to let it go.

Just turned 50 and I live with regrets daily. There is so much I regret and honestly it eats me up. I need to find a way out of thinking about it constantly as it’s really not healthy

I have a lot of regrets--nothing crazy or too horrible, but things I wished I'd done differently, or that I wish I had left my conservative religion much much earlier. I think it would have made a big difference in some of the choices and opportunities I had. There are definitely things I could have done better, but hindsight is 20/20 and really all we can do is learn from our mistakes and do better going forward. Best not to dwell excessively on what's going on in the rearview mirror---learn what you can, know you did the best you could at the time, and be grateful you know better now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think by the time you're 50, if you're at all introspective, you have regrets.

I should have taken a leave of absence from work to spend more time with my mother when she was dying.
I should have been much more honest, to myself, about what I wanted in a spouse. I would have realized that my H would never meet those criteria.
I should have gotten involved in group activities and developed close female friendships in college.

This hits home.

Hugs. Nothing we can do about these things now.

Anonymous wrote:Worked on managing regrets. When I was early 50s, said in front of my wife, daughter, and mother, "I'm going to go back and fix everything that went wrong". And I did. Earned a professional license, finished a graduate degree, and ending my career with a high level job. It was worth the effort. Told my daughter that if I fall off the earth tomorrow, whatever I wanted to accomplish, needed to prove, do to make up for something lost, I was able to do. My mental outlook has shot up ever since I said that to my family.

That’s truly incredible and inspiring, I love this.

Worked on managing regrets. When I was early 50s, said in front of my wife, daughter, and mother, "I'm going to go back and fix everything that went wrong". And I did. Earned a professional license, finished a graduate degree, and ending my career with a high level job. It was worth the effort. Told my daughter that if I fall off the earth tomorrow, whatever I wanted to accomplish, needed to prove, do to make up for something lost, I was able to do. My mental outlook has shot up ever since I said that to my family.

I tend to own up to my mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on.

Any "regrets" that I have tend to be more along the lines of wishing that someone else hadn't made the life choices that they did that now impact my life in a negative way. You can't control things that you have no control over.

Oh my God, about a million. I screwed up just about everything I think. Damn. Seriously, it hurts to think about all the mistakes. But it’s good to have regrets because it means you have self awareness. You realize you f*ed up and can admit it. You realize you could have done better. I wish many people I know who are too arrogant to see their mistakes could also feel regret. It’s a good thing. It hurts, but it’s ok. You can just move forward and try to do better in the future carrying the weight of that wisdom.