My son does shower every day but also has acne, which DOES bother him...but when I ask if he has washed his face he often lies and says he has but I can tell he has not. I don't get it. Its easy and it will help - A LOT. He is 14 and cares about his appearance, showers but will not wash his face with face wash. Just won't. Maybe once a week he will, and he knows he has to if he wants the acne gone. I feel your pain, it really doesn't make a lot of sense. If it helps at all he goes from I don't care to can I get accutane, so it does bother him even when he pretends it doesn't. We are working on it!

Sorry to say, but not caring that much is what got you into this situation. Unless your daughter has a disability of sorts, regular bathing and grooming should be automatic by this point. I guess I was excessively engaged in my daughter’s presentation, but I took great pleasure in seeing her clean, well-dressed with her hair styled every day.

Re hair - have you tried dry shampoo? That helps my DD extend a day. Mak

Anonymous wrote:We have a shower schedule for everyone. They have to stick with it. My DD is an athlete so she showers every day. Non negotiable.

I have to get on her about remembering deodorant. I just say, you’d rather I be the one to tell you you smell than your friends…

Controlling much.

I had to wash mine every day for quite a while. I had very fine, oily hair. It smelled and stuck to my head if I didn't wash it.

I would set up some rules, but do not overdo it. While faces and hair are oily, teen skin can get really dried out. So focus on a few rules (shower every day, wash hair every other day, extra showering is needed after intense exercise). And then make sure she has the right products. She might need a good cleansing shampoo, but also need a hydrating soap or body wash. I went through a period when I was young when I hated showering because it made my skin so dry.

And - you have to remind them over and over about face washing before bed (if she showers in the am).

Anonymous wrote:So -- what do you say when the kid says, "i don't care" and/or "it's fine, I want to save water" or "you don't have to wash your hair everyday"

You say it’s non negotiable. Showering is as basic as brushing teeth. My DS showers everyday. DD does too but wears a shower cap so that she only washes her hair every other day. Kids sweat and are stinky.

Anonymous wrote:We have a shower schedule for everyone. They have to stick with it. My DD is an athlete so she showers every day. Non negotiable.

I have to get on her about remembering deodorant. I just say, you’d rather I be the one to tell you you smell than your friends…

NP and I have definitely used this, but I had to adjust the tactic a little to let her know that unfortunately kids get to an age where they don’t tell you to your face anymore. But this doesn’t mean they don’t think it or say it behind your back! Don’t be the stinky kid!

Anonymous wrote:It is important to teach proper hygiene. I resisted showers as well as a kid, and I resent that my mother didn’t at least try to teach me a bit about keeping clean. It could have spared me some bullying and improved my confidence. (Don’t assume your kid isn’t bullied, or even just mildly teased, because they haven’t told you.)

Curious if you had a dad or was this just mom's responsibility?

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old is not into showering still. unless i hound her. I dont care that much generally, but she also has a lot of acne (not scaring type yet) and It's clear to me that the greasy hair in her face doesn't help. (Yes, I am irritated right now after another conversation about the need to shower). Do I make her?

Yes.
We had the same issue OP and at 14.5 I put my foot down.
We told her that good hygiene habits are a non-negotiable life skill. She doesn’t have to be a girl who primps or gets all into glam with makeup and heels, or even style her hair beyond brushing. But she does have to have a clean look and smell, in addition to actually being clean. This is healthy and sanitary and a socially acceptable way of being in the world with and among other people.

She would agree and then ignore. I used to just say every other day or even every third day is fine. But that never worked because it was a battle of “I forgots” until we finally made a schedule and started setting reminder alarms for every other day. Now she gets a shower and hair wash as a MUST DO every other night at 8:00 PM.
Two years later, it is still in her routine.

the question is, if it looks gross, does she NEED to wash it everyday?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all make your girls wash their hair everyday?

I'm wondering that too. It's insane if they do.

Yes, oily adolescents need to wash their hair/scalp every day.

I was this oily haired adolescent. I did need to wash every day. Even now.

But my wavy haired DD is different and has a different hair washing frequency.

One PP claiming to speak for all adolescents needs... Well as a parent, you need to figure out what your kid needs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all make your girls wash their hair everyday?

I'm wondering that too. It's insane if they do.

Yes, oily adolescents need to wash their hair/scalp every day.

Nope. Simply not true. She might need to get her hair out of her face every day, but washing it incessantly is pretty damaging.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all make your girls wash their hair everyday?

I'm wondering that too. It's insane if they do.

Yes, oily adolescents need to wash their hair/scalp every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So -- what do you say when the kid says, "i don't care" and/or "it's fine, I want to save water" or "you don't have to wash your hair everyday"

No one needs to wash their hair every day.

OP here. This is in part what I am wondering is reasonable. She has relatively fine, medium thickness, but totally straight hair and it DOES look gross after a day... but...

She is likely not washing it properly when she does wash it. Is there a way you can show her again to use the proper amount of shampoo and massage the scalp for a few minutes?