Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

The only place where I see that there is a maturity issue is when a person has access to a car, does not have a disability or some PTSD-like issue, and lives outside of an area with tons of public transportation. Particularly if they have a spouse. Just seems like weaponized incompetence.

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder about the couples where one person doesn't drive, not due to disability or other obvious reason. Do they just rely on their partners to do all of the things that involve driving? What is they have kids? It seems in those cases like the couple has agreed that one of them is allowed to be a juvenile, in essence.

It's usually an unhealthy dynamic.

If they get around just fine on mass transit or cabs or biking/walking etc then I don't think much of it. if they think they're too good for that and expect family/friends to taxi them around then I think they're selfish and entitled. Even if you have epilepsy or another health condition, you can usually walk or take a bus.

I also think taking mass transit and biking/walking are far more vital skills to learn than driving. I can't stand people who refuse to do either and insist on going everywhere by private vehicle. It's neither good for the planet nor our collective health.

They are passive personalities.

The only adults I know who don’t drive have epilepsy or another neurological disorder.

I also know many people, mostly women, who grew up abroad or in ny, and never learned. Some of them tried to learn, but only one or two managed to feel confident enough to drive anywhere but local roads. Some of them still live abroad and have drivers where it’s very common (India, hk). But when they come to the us, it’s hard for them to get around, especially with kids. They have my sympathies. It’s hard to live in the states, outside of a few cities, as a non driver.

I also have friends who have been driving since 16, but they won’t drive anywhere unfamiliar. If we meet up on vacation, they won’t rent a car or help drive. I’ve lived and driven in several cities with left side driving and I learned how to parallel park on the hills of San Francisco, so I’m always the default driver. But there’s a lot of things I don’t like to do that my friends will cover, like making the spa reservations and figuring out where to go for dinner. It’s fine.

One of my closest friends doesn’t drive because she has epilepsy. It’s well controlled, but not worth the risk. I sometimes feel like I would see her more often if we could just meet up instead of me picking her up and/or driving her home. It’s not her choice though. If she just didn’t drive or chose not to own a car, I doubt we’d be as close because it would grate on me over time.

This thread is wild to me. All of you associating the ability to operate a single type of machine with maturity. Do you have a similar level of judgement on people who don’t go to college? Don’t own houses in their own names? Hire other people to do their taxes? Don’t have a passport?

I assume they have epilepsy.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is just a really bad driver. She stopped doing it in urban areas after several accidents that she caused. She will only drive in the rural area that she lives.

In her case - it’s a good thing for everyone’s safety.

Not exactly your question, but you sound judgy. There are many potential reasons.

What is her reason? Not. Catches gets in accidents, why? Come on.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is just a really bad driver. She stopped doing it in urban areas after several accidents that she caused. She will only drive in the rural area that she lives.

In her case - it’s a good thing for everyone’s safety.

Not exactly your question, but you sound judgy. There are many potential reasons.

Not saying it’s good or right, but yeah, I judge: outside of inner NYC, Boston, Chicago, and DC, most places in this country absolutely require the capacity to drive a car.

I don’t love driving, but I have managed to adapt to driving in intense environments (DC, where I grew up, Southern California, and Europe) because it was a responsibility for me as an adult. Not learning this very basic skill is negligent and denotes immaturity/entitlement.

If your SIL is so bad at driving, why not take additional lessons? It’s not a lost cause. She just doesn’t want to improve.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is just a really bad driver. She stopped doing it in urban areas after several accidents that she caused. She will only drive in the rural area that she lives.

In her case - it’s a good thing for everyone’s safety.

Not exactly your question, but you sound judgy. There are many potential reasons.

...but she does drive, and did learn to drive.

Anonymous wrote:I knew more than one person like this growing up in the NYC suburbs. Families would move out of the city and the wives would not learn how to drive. Ever.

I was going to say this sounded ridiculous, then remembered that this describes one of my good friends from college. I’ve never thought of her as not capable or spoiled or anything like that, she just doesn’t drive. I didn’t learn until I was in my late twenties, bc I lived in Manhattan. A lot of my friends who stayed have let their licenses lapse, or say they would feel uncomfortable driving right now.

I do wonder about the couples where one person doesn't drive, not due to disability or other obvious reason. Do they just rely on their partners to do all of the things that involve driving? What is they have kids? It seems in those cases like the couple has agreed that one of them is allowed to be a juvenile, in essence.

My SIL is just a really bad driver. She stopped doing it in urban areas after several accidents that she caused. She will only drive in the rural area that she lives.

In her case - it’s a good thing for everyone’s safety.

Not exactly your question, but you sound judgy. There are many potential reasons.