Where I grew up, it was the norm for mothers, MIL, aunts, sisters to host bridal and baby showers. That’s just the way it was—the females in the family came together and planned it. And many times the female cousins or sisters were the MOH and bridesmaids. I thought that was the way it was done until I was in a bridal party for the first time and was asked to spend several hundred dollars to host a shower for 80 people (mostly the MILs family and friends) at a country club. It was crazy.

I think it’s very regional and I’ve seen it done both ways.

There are really much bigger every day problems to stress over that at my age I would not GAF if I was invited to something like this hosted by the mother of the bride or grandmother to be. Why not just be happy for someone celebrating an upcoming milestone?!

People are SO rude and nasty.

Totally normal in my daughter's circle of friends who are all in the getting married stage of life. I think the bridesmaids and MOH are more focused now on planning the bachelorette party.

Not ideal. If you are mother of the bride, work to find someone. If the mother is someone else, extend grace and don't judge.

Anonymous wrote:We wear pajama pants 24/7.

Children now address adults by first name.

OP I like tradition. 20 years ago when I married a mom hosting was gauche. Things are changing fast!

For the better! It’s a silly “rule.”

If you think it’s “unacceptable,” decline the invitation.

What, you think a van should pull up to the mom’s house and hog-tie her and throw her in before peeling off and dumping her in a ditch? Like what punishment should be if this is “unacceptable”?

It’s acceptable if people respond Yes to the invitation, and attend.

Mothers have been stealth hosting for awhile, getting the bride’s friends to put their names on the invite as hosts but mom is footing the entire bill to make sure it meets her expectations.

This. I will do the same for my DDs. Bridal party are the public hosts. MOB is the private host.
I think baby showers are a little different.can be mother hosting.

It’s normal to have it at your house since young people don’t have one.

I’d get a good friend/brides maid/aunt “co-host”.

Mothers have been stealth hosting for awhile, getting the bride’s friends to put their names on the invite as hosts but mom is footing the entire bill to make sure it meets her expectations.

It’s fine now, but even 15 years ago I think people would have seriously side eyed it. Honestly I didn’t care then and I still don’t.

Anonymous wrote:Is it now acceptable for mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? I know in the the past this was considered bad manners, but apparently it is now acceptable?

I’ve done my google research, now looking for some real life experiences, lol. Thanks !

Sorry your mother didn't love you.

Anonymous wrote:Very normal. Generally it’s at the mom’s house but a couple bridesmaids or all the aunts “host”

+1
It's not a present 'grab'- you're gonna get/give presents either way. who cares

It’s 2024! People spout the rules they want to follow to feel they are above and judge others. In fact the “not wearing white after Labor Day” was created as an elitest thing to separate the haves from the have nots.

But really today no one cares and It doesn’t matter. There are lots of traditional wedding and other etiquette rules that are outdated. Because we don’t live like we did ages ago. Things like The brides family pays for the wedding and the Groom should not see bride before the ceremony. Today we are sending save the dates snd writing our own vows and men wearing hats indoors and other “faux pas”.

If the bride doesn’t plan to work, will cook every meal, and will “obey” her husband. Then its Good to get the marriage started on the right path with following the “shower hosting” rules.

Bridal showers are optional now.

This place is dominated by stuck-up grandmas.

Very normal. Generally it’s at the mom’s house but a couple bridesmaids or all the aunts “host”