I would not take an 88 year old on vacation unless the location was an easy drive and the accommodations were elderly friendly- no stairs, grab bars in the shower, no area rugs to trip on, easy meals, great transportation, etc.

You can not expect an 88 year old to walk far, stand in lines, walk on a sand beach, endure long car or plane rides. An adult cruise where you can put them in a wheelchair and help them around the ship - keeping them out of strong sun and temperature extremes.

My parents are younger, but with some mobility issues. They do not live with us, but nearby and we do a lot of things together. Sometimes we take them and sometimes we do not. It depends on the nature of the trip.

If they can relax on the beach or at a comfortable rented house while we do more active things, we bring them. Hiking and sleeping in rustic cabins - we leave them home.

My mom lives with us and we do take her on vacations. She has the option of not coming but she usually does.

We did take both of my grandmother's on vacation on vacations (usually driving to OBX type) but they covered the cost, I assume. If you can't afford to cover her, then I still think you should take the trip if you want to.

I would not bring her with you. We have had a relative living with us and their ability to travel safely and comfortably has changed significantly. I would not want them away from their doctors and routines. We did take them on several trips within the US and it was a nightmare. Aside from the extra cost - yes they need their own room/space - it ended up causing them a lot of anxiety being in new places - they just couldn't adapt easily. They also couldn't participate in a lot of the activities the rest of the family could so we were faced with someone staying back with them (they were scared of being left alone in a new place), bringing them with us but someone sitting in the car with them or finding a place to sit and wait. It wasn't much of a vacation for the caregivers. In hindsight, they did need to get out of their day-to-day routine, like the rest of us but day trips to "elder" friendly places that are accessible with a walker would have been better. And don't even get me started on the timing and types of meals needed - they needed to eat early and had a restricted diet. They can not stay by themselves so leaving them behind is not feasible. I would add - that it sounds easy to get someone to stay with your parent - but it can be a significant expense that needs to be added to your travel budget - especially if they need 24/7 care.

Beach vacations are great for my parents. It's tough, unless we leave the kids with them, to have them do much else.

Europe - nope, I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I don't have the funds for extra plane ticket, hotel, etc. Unless they are paying.