Anonymous wrote:
Ninety seven years, such a good run, Two funerals, what crazed fun!
Reschedule and choose, why the rush?
At least the old coot's out of the slush!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to your grandfather’s funeral and deliver the eulogy. No one would fault you for being there instead of at your FIL’s service.

No. A wife should be at her husband’s side the day he buries his father.

This is all very unfair and unfortunate, but you don’t leave your spouse on the day they bury a parent. The death of a grandparent is not as significant as the loss of a parent. The spouse with the greater loss gets the support that day.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I'm not reading your emo-novel, OP, but all I want to say is:

1. Funerals are difficult to plan at the best of times. People get weird about them and there are always differences of opinions.

2. Your children are adults. Great. You delegate your representatives to the one you cannot attend. Divide and conquer!

You suck.

Your MIL was kind enough to schedule your FIL’s funeral thoughtfully through her own grief, and your children should also be there as it is their grandfather. As difficult as it is, I’d attend your FIL’s funeral fully and have someone read your eulogy at your grandfather’s.

How close are the funerals. If feasible I'd go do the eulogy and go

Otherwise I'd send my son's to great grandad's funeral maybe one of them can give the eulogy instead . And go be with your husband.


Don't be too hard ion your mom she's probably a bit overwhelmed and just took the next available day for the church.

So sorry for your losses.

I mean, I would be pretty pissed at my mom over this — but would try to extend grace in how I interacted with her given she is probably sad and not thinking straight. I’m assuming you mom isn’t typically this obtuse and insensitive.

Depending on how my hsuband felt, I would likely consider attending my granddad’s funeral while my kids supported their dad. I’m not sure what I would do since it is so dependent on specific relationships and how my spouse felt.

That said, you could always have someone else deliver the eulogy you wrote on your behalf. And then your family could do something separately to celebrate your granddad’s life.

I’m so sorry this is happening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not reading your emo-novel, OP, but all I want to say is:

1. Funerals are difficult to plan at the best of times. People get weird about them and there are always differences of opinions.

2. Your children are adults. Great. You delegate your representatives to the one you cannot attend. Divide and conquer!

All I want to say is that it's evident you didn't read the post, as is your arrogance and general nastiness. Next time, save everyone the trouble and keep on scrolling.

You can be sensitive all you want, but actually OP is not clear at all about her plans, and keeps saying "we". So this plan above has the benefit of being clear.

OP goes to FIL's funeral. Her grown sons attend Grandpa's funeral, and one reads her eulogy.

It's sad, certainly, but there's nothing OP can do to reschedule again. Like her mother says, it's fine. Grandpa would have understood.

Her children should be at their grandfather’s funeral for themselves and for their father. They shouldn’t be skipping their father’s father’s funeral for a great grandparent’s funeral when it was unnecessarily scheduled to overlap their own grandpa’s funeral. What nonsense.

If there were some exceptional circumstance that made the great grandpa’s relationship with her children than their relationship with their grandfather, OP would’ve probably mentioned it as an additional layer of complexity.

Anonymous wrote:Go to your grandfather’s funeral and deliver the eulogy. No one would fault you for being there instead of at your FIL’s service.

No. A wife should be at her husband’s side the day he buries his father.

This is all very unfair and unfortunate, but you don’t leave your spouse on the day they bury a parent. The death of a grandparent is not as significant as the loss of a parent. The spouse with the greater loss gets the support that day.