Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our regular old public was as you described. Lots of smart kids with smart parents and Ivy degrees, including us. And we both went to public high school too. It was great until it wasn't. Depends on the kid. The academics will be generally the same, give or take a few specialized electives at either at the high school level, as will the college options for a given kid (though this may be changing for some kids with the grade inflation/TO situation these days).

We switched mostly to get away from a bad social situation, and it made all the difference. I'm not sure they would be the people they are today if they had stayed. Your environment shapes you, and the same setting does different things to different kids. Who you meet and how they treat you matters more than anything else.

So, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

My kids have a lot of friends and their social situations are fine. I just wonder if we are doing them a disservice of not sending them to private. In every other aspect of our lives, we pay for the better option. I’m wondering if we could provide a better option of education.

It is all relative. If you want to send your kids to private have them apply to the schools you like and get on with it. Confirmation bias is a thing. Even if your child is bullied or does poorly you’ll probably convince yourself it is better.

Anonymous wrote:We switched our son from AAP to a private school because the AAP classes at our public were getting so big, and our son is quiet. He was sort of sinking into the background of his classes, and not actively participating. The teachers were yelling all the time to try to manage the chaotic classroom. We switched to a very small private school and he really thrived. The first day of his new school he came home and told me that the teachers actually like the kids. He said the teachers chose to eat lunch with the kids and talk to them. (In reality, the school didn't have a cafeteria, so the teachers had to eat with the kids! I didn't correct him because he was so happy about it.) For high school, we continued with a private school, because for him, it made a big difference in his overall attitude towards school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our regular old public was as you described. Lots of smart kids with smart parents and Ivy degrees, including us. And we both went to public high school too. It was great until it wasn't. Depends on the kid. The academics will be generally the same, give or take a few specialized electives at either at the high school level, as will the college options for a given kid (though this may be changing for some kids with the grade inflation/TO situation these days).

We switched mostly to get away from a bad social situation, and it made all the difference. I'm not sure they would be the people they are today if they had stayed. Your environment shapes you, and the same setting does different things to different kids. Who you meet and how they treat you matters more than anything else.

So, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

My kids have a lot of friends and their social situations are fine. I just wonder if we are doing them a disservice of not sending them to private. In every other aspect of our lives, we pay for the better option. I’m wondering if we could provide a better option of education.

Depends on what "better" means to you in this context.

^^ I mean this, and people responses will show you just that. To one person, lots of STEM electives is better, to another lots of kids interested in the same subject matter is better, to another having a balance of STEM and humanities is better, to another a classical education strong in all subjects across the board is better, to another its access to a certain language or the ability to take two or immersion, to another many options for electives even though your kids can only take a few is better, to another a school with only high IQ kids, while to yet another a mix of intellectual levels is better as long as it has your kid's level; or better means access to rich kids, or a more diverse class, or religious education, or the best team for your kid's sport, or sports where any kid gets to play, or the best art teachers, or the most robust theater or music program, or the best debate team and so on and so on.

You kid will be well educated anywhere; the differences are around the edges. The point is to know what you want for your kid, to know where your kid will thrive and be confident in your own choice about that. Others will always have another opinion, and try to rank schools (putting their choice on top, because to them it is -- it has what they wanted).

What is important to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also want them to be prepared socially and culturally for the environment of their college. If I expected my child to attend a large state school I would send them to a large public high school. I’d focus on a small private education if I expected them to go to a small private college.

And a large private high school (or K-12) feeds into a large private college?

I agree with PP though, how would you know what's the best fit in 8th grade?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With the equity movement in this country, I’m not sure fancy private school is the way to go unless you are in the donor class and have national level name recognition.

With the DEI backlash, end of affirmative action, and continued conservative Supreme Court dominance in these decisions for the next generation I would say the opposite.

The DEI backlash can't change the overall tide of socialism in this country which has been building for decades. The DEI backlash is a mere blip.

Anonymous wrote:The DEI backlash is part of the overall tide of fascism in this country which has been building for decades. The DEI backlash is a mere symptom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With the equity movement in this country, I’m not sure fancy private school is the way to go unless you are in the donor class and have national level name recognition.

With the DEI backlash, end of affirmative action, and continued conservative Supreme Court dominance in these decisions for the next generation I would say the opposite.

Anonymous wrote:I also want them to be prepared socially and culturally for the environment of their college. If I expected my child to attend a large state school I would send them to a large public high school. I’d focus on a small private education if I expected them to go to a small private college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with where the kid gets academically challenged early and consistently. A lot of bad study habits happen when there’s no challenge and suddenly in college or late high school your kids flameout when they have to actually study for the first time.

Growth mindset is hard to teach for the really smart kids. The truly academically rigorous private schools may still be worth it, otherwise I would take a public magnet over any generic coddled private school.

This. No matter where my kids end up for college, I want them to be so well-prepared that the step up to undergraduate work seems like a breeze. In the grand scheme of things, college grades are way more important than HS grades.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with where the kid gets academically challenged early and consistently. A lot of bad study habits happen when there’s no challenge and suddenly in college or late high school your kids flameout when they have to actually study for the first time.

Growth mindset is hard to teach for the really smart kids. The truly academically rigorous private schools may still be worth it, otherwise I would take a public magnet over any generic coddled private school.

This. No matter where my kids end up for college, I want them to be so well-prepared that the step up to undergraduate work seems like a breeze. In the grand scheme of things, college grades are way more important than HS grades.

Absolutely, for academics. I also want them to be prepared socially and culturally for the environment of their college. If I expected my child to attend a large state school I would send them to a large public high school. I’d focus on a small private education if I expected them to go to a small private college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with where the kid gets academically challenged early and consistently. A lot of bad study habits happen when there’s no challenge and suddenly in college or late high school your kids flameout when they have to actually study for the first time.

Growth mindset is hard to teach for the really smart kids. The truly academically rigorous private schools may still be worth it, otherwise I would take a public magnet over any generic coddled private school.

This. No matter where my kids end up for college, I want them to be so well-prepared that the step up to undergraduate work seems like a breeze. In the grand scheme of things, college grades are way more important than HS grades.

Anonymous wrote:I would go with where the kid gets academically challenged early and consistently. A lot of bad study habits happen when there’s no challenge and suddenly in college or late high school your kids flameout when they have to actually study for the first time.

Growth mindset is hard to teach for the really smart kids. The truly academically rigorous private schools may still be worth it, otherwise I would take a public magnet over any generic coddled private school.

Anonymous wrote:With the equity movement in this country, I’m not sure fancy private school is the way to go unless you are in the donor class and have national level name recognition.