Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - thanks for all the replies! My older kid is at a top 25 that we are paying for with a 529 account. The second child (middle) will not be accepted to a top 25, and wants to go to an SEC school . . . These responses are helpful and it’s good to know I’m not being unreasonable

Sure, you’re not being unreasonable….as long as you’re good with your child resenting you and especially their sibling for the rest of their life

Yes these are good points - I’m an only child. Thanks everyone for being honest

Yes, I think if you are paying for the sibling this is a problem unless you set the expectation way way back that you are going to school where dad works unless you get into this list of 10 schools or whatever parameters you set.

Is this GWU? I know several kids who have gone there because parents work there and it’s a solid enough school but obviously different than an SEC type school. Do I think it’s worth paying for the SEC school? Not really but by letting the sibling go where they wanted this is going to cause huge resentment.

I know this is personal and family choice, but for my family, I don't agree with or appreciate the idea that I would pay more for the smarter kid that can get into a better school. That kid is basically fine where ever they go - my other kid, that struggles more, is more in need of a specific environment and I'm willing to pay more for that. And if that one had a lower GPA in high school, that doesn't mean he didn't work just as hard or harder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - thanks for all the replies! My older kid is at a top 25 that we are paying for with a 529 account. The second child (middle) will not be accepted to a top 25, and wants to go to an SEC school . . . These responses are helpful and it’s good to know I’m not being unreasonable

Sure, you’re not being unreasonable….as long as you’re good with your child resenting you and especially their sibling for the rest of their life

Yes these are good points - I’m an only child. Thanks everyone for being honest

Anonymous wrote:Op here - thanks for all the replies! My older kid is at a top 25 that we are paying for with a 529 account. The second child (middle) will not be accepted to a top 25, and wants to go to an SEC school . . . These responses are helpful and it’s good to know I’m not being unreasonable

Sure, you’re not being unreasonable….as long as you’re good with your child resenting you and especially their sibling for the rest of their life

Anonymous wrote:Op here - thanks for all the replies! My older kid is at a top 25 that we are paying for with a 529 account. The second child (middle) will not be accepted to a top 25, and wants to go to an SEC school . . . These responses are helpful and it’s good to know I’m not being unreasonable

The fact that you’re already paying for your older child to go to (presumably) the school of their choice changes the equation….so essentially you’re going to tell your middle child we’re willing to sacrifice and pay 100s of thousands of dollars for college for your older sibling because you’re not smart enough to get into a top 25 like them you have to go to the free college that we dictate in your hometown.

Yes. It won't be some outliner experience.

It isn't important, enough, snowflake prefers something else. It's an ordinary college/university. No reason it couldn't work just fine.

Now, there may be some reciprocal policies with other schools. Something to check out. Check out before mentioning.

Yes, I would.

I appreciate it is depressing for a kid to have to attend college in the city in which they live. I doubt any of you posters had to do that.

I actually have no problem offering a "bribe" in this situation. You admit that you are paying a bunch for the sibling, so seems a bit unfair to foist the "free" school on your kid.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - thanks for all the replies! My older kid is at a top 25 that we are paying for with a 529 account. The second child (middle) will not be accepted to a top 25, and wants to go to an SEC school . . . These responses are helpful and it’s good to know I’m not being unreasonable

Yeah if you are talking UMD vs an SEC school at OOS tuition, nope I would not take on that financial burden. I would however tell kid there will be a cash payment/new car and housing downpayemtn for them when they graduate. Since you found the way to pay for the older to go to a T25 it's not fair to just say No without some perks.

Anonymous wrote:I would not make my kid go to UMD over Yale, for example.

It depends. If you can easily afford Yale, then no. But if you have to take loans for it and UMD can be done for only R&B and no debt, then I'd send my kid to UMD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free tuition? Most colleges on the east coast stopped this many years ago - are you grandfathered in, and have you worked there for over 15 years, OP?

If it was reduced rate for so many years (I have not heard of free tuition for many, many years!), and the school was indeed a genuine match for the child, then yes, the child should apply.

Yes I just looked again at the tuition remission benefit information and it would be 100 percent because my spouse has worked there for over 20 years

So encourage it, explain the financial benefits, and allow them to live on campus and ultimately near campus with friends for upperclass years.

Anonymous wrote:Would you push your kid to go to a college because their parent works there and can receive free tuition, even if the college would not otherwise make the child’s list? It is a top 75 school and the right fit academically for the child.

If it has the major(s)/areas my kid is interested, right academic fit I would definately sit down with my kid and explain the financial implications.
Can you afford other schools without debt for you or your kid? Unless I could easily pay for the more expensive schools, yes I would highly encourage my kid to apply and attend. I would likely even include an offer of new car/housing downpayment with the money saved, if I have the money for it. And explain that the saved money can pay for graduate school as well.

However, if you can easily pay for any college then I'd let the kid decide.

If the child doesn’t have a scholarship, yes. They get in where they fit in and they better fit in where it’s free

Op here - thanks for all the replies! My older kid is at a top 25 that we are paying for with a 529 account. The second child (middle) will not be accepted to a top 25, and wants to go to an SEC school . . . These responses are helpful and it’s good to know I’m not being unreasonable

This is my family. Kid applied to my home school as a safety (I'm guessing it's the same university as you!). We'll evaluate things when the acceptances come in, but my older kid was admitted to a T10 school and we are paying for it. (Painful.)