Funerals are about the living, not the dead person. You might go to express condolences if you know/care about survivors. There might be other people there you like and could spend time with. Or you could send a card and wake up with suspiciously covid-like symptoms the day of the event.

No

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers husband thinks he needs to go to every he ever hears about. Flying. 3 degrees of separation. A neighbor they never spoke to. A coworkers spouse, they barely knew either.
No sense of judgment or appropriateness. Just guessing in the dark.

This cracks me up. Do people ever seem a little awkward about it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers husband thinks he needs to go to every he ever hears about. Flying. 3 degrees of separation. A neighbor they never spoke to. A coworkers spouse, they barely knew either.
No sense of judgment or appropriateness. Just guessing in the dark.

That actually sounds very kind.

Sounds more attention grabby.

"Look how many friends I have! I attend tons of funerals to support all my friends!"

You don't know many adults with autism, do you?

You are correct.

I dont see it as "kind" to attend random peoples funerals, especially ones that you dont even know.

Well I do know many and that is not how they think. You are unkind, pp.

If it's someone I've just lost touch with, of course I'd go. I'd want to support my other family members. If it's someone I was truly estranged from, i.e., deliberately no longer had contact with, it would depend on what their relationship was to me and the reason for the estrangement.

I finally got tired of Uncle Larlo talking racist smack at Thanksgiving and stopped going to Aunt Mildred's once a year? Yeah, I'd go.

Stepfather Larlo abused me for ten years? No way I'd go and listen to others talk about how much he'll be missed.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you estranged?

+1 and are you still speaking to all the other relatives?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers husband thinks he needs to go to every he ever hears about. Flying. 3 degrees of separation. A neighbor they never spoke to. A coworkers spouse, they barely knew either.
No sense of judgment or appropriateness. Just guessing in the dark.

That actually sounds very kind.

Sounds more attention grabby.

"Look how many friends I have! I attend tons of funerals to support all my friends!"

You don't know many adults with autism, do you?

You are correct.

I dont see it as "kind" to attend random peoples funerals, especially ones that you dont even know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t seen my aunt’s estranged husband in a gazillion years. If he died and I heard about it, I’d go. Even though he hasn’t been around lately, he was still a part of my childhood. And the father of my cousins, who I’m very fond of.

Once upon a time, going to a funeral used to be called “paying your respects”. Does it cost you that much to do that?

Do you pay respects to a person you don't care for?

If their family would appreciate your presence and you care about them, yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers husband thinks he needs to go to every he ever hears about. Flying. 3 degrees of separation. A neighbor they never spoke to. A coworkers spouse, they barely knew either.
No sense of judgment or appropriateness. Just guessing in the dark.

That actually sounds very kind.

Sounds more attention grabby.

"Look how many friends I have! I attend tons of funerals to support all my friends!"

You don't know many adults with autism, do you?

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers husband thinks he needs to go to every he ever hears about. Flying. 3 degrees of separation. A neighbor they never spoke to. A coworkers spouse, they barely knew either.
No sense of judgment or appropriateness. Just guessing in the dark.

Are you on the spectrum, too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t seen my aunt’s estranged husband in a gazillion years. If he died and I heard about it, I’d go. Even though he hasn’t been around lately, he was still a part of my childhood. And the father of my cousins, who I’m very fond of.

Once upon a time, going to a funeral used to be called “paying your respects”. Does it cost you that much to do that?

Do you pay respects to a person you don't care for?

Of course! You can still be respectful of people you don’t care for. Do unto others and all that.

A society where people can be polite and show respect to all men and women is a good one, actually.

Sounds like a sham. Why would you bother their family if you dont even like this person? Save a seat and the nibbles for people who cared.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers husband thinks he needs to go to every he ever hears about. Flying. 3 degrees of separation. A neighbor they never spoke to. A coworkers spouse, they barely knew either.
No sense of judgment or appropriateness. Just guessing in the dark.

That actually sounds very kind.

Sounds more attention grabby.

"Look how many friends I have! I attend tons of funerals to support all my friends!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t seen my aunt’s estranged husband in a gazillion years. If he died and I heard about it, I’d go. Even though he hasn’t been around lately, he was still a part of my childhood. And the father of my cousins, who I’m very fond of.

Once upon a time, going to a funeral used to be called “paying your respects”. Does it cost you that much to do that?

Do you pay respects to a person you don't care for?

Of course! You can still be respectful of people you don’t care for. Do unto others and all that.

A society where people can be polite and show respect to all men and women is a good one, actually.

I recently came around to deciding that I would attend my stepmother and father’s funeral, just because it would be too attention seeking to stay home. I want peace and the easier route is to just go with the flow. But if they had been physically or sexually abusive I wouldn’t. They’re just big ‘ol jerks about 50% of the time.

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t seen my aunt’s estranged husband in a gazillion years. If he died and I heard about it, I’d go. Even though he hasn’t been around lately, he was still a part of my childhood. And the father of my cousins, who I’m very fond of.

Once upon a time, going to a funeral used to be called “paying your respects”. Does it cost you that much to do that?

Do you pay respects to a person you don't care for?