Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In theory, I would love to just have sex with any hot man that I find charming and sexually attractive. In practice, making this work with a husband, kids, and managing everyone’s mental, emotional, and physical health sounds 100% miserable and not worth it. I’ll stick to fantasizing about the hot guy at the bar and I’ll pass on what sounds like an unending cycle of stress and resentment.

My gosh, this. I'm too conservative to cheat, anyway, but what an exhausting way to live life! Hey, I'll just pencil in that hot sex between DD's dentist appointment and the tire rotation.

I read some of these comments and didn't really believe that the book made it sound as terrible as you all said. I finished the book yesterday and you were all right; I was wrong. That sounded physically and emotionally exhausting. Did either of them really work? At some point, she stopped talking about the day-to-day with her kids, because who has energy for homework help in the midst of all of that.

Anonymous wrote:Read about this in the nytimes - I’m struck by how she’s so open esp since she had affairs with many married men. Anyone reading this or planning to?


Gifted article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/13/books/molly-roden-winter-more-book-open-marriage.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Nk0.gMnZ.QYxS1kMvgtai&smid=url-share

I don't need to read it. I had a friend who pretty much lived this. She is the most messed up person I know. Oh, and she wanted to be open with her kids about it too. And no, she was not coerced by her dh. She actually encouraged him to get some side action and then flipped out when he did. They are divorced now.

Anonymous wrote:I agree it seems like a lot of work. I’d be more interested in polygamy where I get a sister wife to help with all the mom crap plus maybe someone to chit chat with and watch Outlander with.

right? it only makes sense if she’s the type of woman who has a very high drive and enjoys casual sex. which is FINE but not very common. is that how she describes herself?

Anonymous wrote:In theory, I would love to just have sex with any hot man that I find charming and sexually attractive. In practice, making this work with a husband, kids, and managing everyone’s mental, emotional, and physical health sounds 100% miserable and not worth it. I’ll stick to fantasizing about the hot guy at the bar and I’ll pass on what sounds like an unending cycle of stress and resentment.

My gosh, this. I'm too conservative to cheat, anyway, but what an exhausting way to live life! Hey, I'll just pencil in that hot sex between DD's dentist appointment and the tire rotation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I have to discuss! Sort of a ***SPOILER***

Molly’s husband was totally cheating on her in secret before she met Matt, wasn’t he? And that’s why he was so pumped for her to be with Matt, and why he encouraged the open marriage AND why he was upset when she wanted to stop. Right?

Interesting theory. Could explain all his late nights at work. I felt the situation was coercive, I could see what he was getting out of the arrangement but felt she was willing to try, didn't like it and kept going along with it bc she didn't want to lose "Stewbie."

This is my take too.

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I have to discuss! Sort of a ***SPOILER***

Molly’s husband was totally cheating on her in secret before she met Matt, wasn’t he? And that’s why he was so pumped for her to be with Matt, and why he encouraged the open marriage AND why he was upset when she wanted to stop. Right?

Interesting theory. Could explain all his late nights at work. I felt the situation was coercive, I could see what he was getting out of the arrangement but felt she was willing to try, didn't like it and kept going along with it bc she didn't want to lose "Stewbie."

Ok, I have to discuss! Sort of a ***SPOILER***

Molly’s husband was totally cheating on her in secret before she met Matt, wasn’t he? And that’s why he was so pumped for her to be with Matt, and why he encouraged the open marriage AND why he was upset when she wanted to stop. Right?

I just started listening and man, her husband is a cuckhold! There’s a lot to unpack in how this all began for them.

How how how did she manage mothering two young kids, working, writing, exercising, quality time with husband, time with her mom, lots of therapy, lot of time on dating sites and meeting up with the other men??

Plus she dealt with migraines which often require down time.

And she seemed to socialize occasionally with a girlfriend.

I wish I had her time management skills.

Hats off to her that she didn’t seem caught up in managing her appearance- waxing, blowouts, clothes shopping, nails - all the stuff many women do, me included, to feel good and attractive.

She seemed very confident and at ease with herself without a lot of fuss.

I finished this book last night. If you're looking for an example of how to have a open marriage, this is not the book to read. It's more of a manual on how NOT to do it.

Tore through this book in three days and am eager to discuss. I would not say this book at all is an endorsement of open marriage, in fact it sounds awful. I told my husband they say you shouldn't marry someone to try to "complete" you. After reading "More" I'll add nor should you marry someone and then date/sleep with other people/listen to your spouse talk about who they are sleeping with/dating to try to fill that void within.

The sex is pretty hot in this book, however.

It was interesting but confirmed for me that I am not interested in poly—way too much emotional bandwidth that would take away from my other relationships and my overall life. My DH and I have dabbled but only in the sense that we enjoy a hookup with someone else when we are together and even then, not often. My point is we are adventurous and obviously I am not a stickler for monogamy but the thought of managing all these relationships is a major turnoff to me. The husband was also such a narcissist, obsessed with work and gaslighting his wife when she said she wanted to close the marriage multiple times. At no point was I convinced she actually wanted this, which made me sad. As a book it was well written, and often insightful. I did have to laugh at the extreme privilege these people have and did not see, aware of. They hemorrhage money on lovers and hotels…more power to them but not realistic for many of us!

I agree it seems like a lot of work. I’d be more interested in polygamy where I get a sister wife to help with all the mom crap plus maybe someone to chit chat with and watch Outlander with.

Way too self-absorbed and cringe. I feel sorry for her sons; though they're now adults, they were young when this whole business started (she mentions her older son found out at age 13, by accident, from stumbling across his dad's online dating account). Can you imagine going through middle school with this craziness taking place in your household? And now it's all out there on blast in a book. There is such a thing as TMI.

Judging from that NYT photo, she does not look happy or fulfilled. Color me unconvinced.

Anonymous wrote:"I'm polyamorous! Look at me, look at me!!!"

+1 she came across to me in the article like a bored housewife who desperately wants to be edgy and "not like other moms"