There was always something available we knew they’d eat but it went along with the meal. I was not aping to make separate grilled cheese when we were having grilled chicken, a starch, vegetables.

For chickpeas I would have set aside some
without spice initially then added spice slowly each time I made them. In fact now I’m craving lentil soup. 😂

Anonymous wrote:I’d say, about half the time we make something that everyone likes, and half the time we make food that primarily the adults like. For the latter, we encourage the kids to try it. If not, we have cheese/crackers/fruit/PB&J available.

This is pretty close to what we do. We keep the "backup" option the same and unexciting: PB sandwich. 6yo makes it himself, we make it for 3yo. We let kids choose 1 meal (we prep 2 meals a week but make double to triple and then eat leftovers) and we choose the other.

We always just make what we want for dinner. By about age 6, our kids can make their own breakfast and lunch. They have to eat whatever is served for dinner. You aren't going to love every single meal, and that's okay.

My 8 year old is also going through a picky phase. I make one dinner that I know the rest of us will enjoy, and if he doesn't eat any of it and eats nothing for dinner at all, I'm fine with it. I know he will make up the calories the next day at breakfast.

I started following Ellyn Satter’s advice when dd was 4. I make sure there is something at the table that she will eat. I veered in expecting a no-thank you bite if the food wasn’t spicy. I also offered a deconstructed version of what we were eating such taking out some meat and veggies for her before adding beans to chili (she’s eating a few beans now, but her first several attempts weren’t promising). At 10, she has a lot more curiosity about and willingly tries new things.

I make things I want at least once a week (ie salmon/fish) and let dd pick at least 2-3 of the meals (current favorites are pesto pasta, chicken Milanese, crepes, and Swedish meatballs). DH tends to like classics like beef stew, pizza, chicken piccata, and shepherd’s pie, so I make sure to put one of his faves on the menu each week. Nobody gets something different, but there are always options to eat just part of the meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have always cooked and made what I made before kids. 8 year old will begrudgingly eat most things. 6 year old is a battle Royale every single night unless we are having pizza or something like that. I'm extremely sick of it but I'm not giving in. He's currently sitting at the table with two more bites of broccoli to go.

Wow, did you post this from 1982?

If left to his own devices he'd live off cookies and granola bars. The pediatrician says get vegetables into them by any means necessary. And he's eaten broccoli happily in the past so it's not like this is something he hates (I don't make them eat food they truly dislike.) He's just hoping I'll give in and break out the carbs.
Also agree with the PP that American kids food is ridiculous. We just got back from Japan where we went to a lot of family restaurants and every kids menu consisted of Maguro bowl, curry rice and kitsune udon. My kids lived off curry and their same age Japanese cousins ordered off the adult menu because they think that food is boring!

I am confused. So, in Japan, there are kids menus which are mostly carby foods, with some fried ingredients, and limited palate, and some kids live off the menu there, and some get bored and eat other stuff, and it's evidence that Americans are ridiculous when they do the same thing?

The only thing fried there is one of the tofus in the kitsune. The point is there are strong flavors, this is not a limited palate. Compare to chicken nuggets, macaroni, hamburger and fries. No strong flavor and no vegetables to be seen. If OPs kids find lentil soup to be too strongly flavored then their palates need to be pushed a little. Again I know this isn't the current fashion in parenting.

Your kid's diet consists of junk food that no American parent on here has said their kids eat for meals, and food you power struggle with him about. You took him to Japan and he ate the same food over and over again, a very mild "kid" dish that's mostly white carbs. But you are so superior to American parents that you must judge.

All the time. I never made separate meals once the kids could eat everything we do. Or catered to their limited preferences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have always cooked and made what I made before kids. 8 year old will begrudgingly eat most things. 6 year old is a battle Royale every single night unless we are having pizza or something like that. I'm extremely sick of it but I'm not giving in. He's currently sitting at the table with two more bites of broccoli to go.

Wow, did you post this from 1982?

If left to his own devices he'd live off cookies and granola bars. The pediatrician says get vegetables into them by any means necessary. And he's eaten broccoli happily in the past so it's not like this is something he hates (I don't make them eat food they truly dislike.) He's just hoping I'll give in and break out the carbs.
Also agree with the PP that American kids food is ridiculous. We just got back from Japan where we went to a lot of family restaurants and every kids menu consisted of Maguro bowl, curry rice and kitsune udon. My kids lived off curry and their same age Japanese cousins ordered off the adult menu because they think that food is boring!

I am confused. So, in Japan, there are kids menus which are mostly carby foods, with some fried ingredients, and limited palate, and some kids live off the menu there, and some get bored and eat other stuff, and it's evidence that Americans are ridiculous when they do the same thing?

The only thing fried there is one of the tofus in the kitsune. The point is there are strong flavors, this is not a limited palate. Compare to chicken nuggets, macaroni, hamburger and fries. No strong flavor and no vegetables to be seen. If OPs kids find lentil soup to be too strongly flavored then their palates need to be pushed a little. Again I know this isn't the current fashion in parenting.

Which one are you claiming has a strong flavor?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have always cooked and made what I made before kids. 8 year old will begrudgingly eat most things. 6 year old is a battle Royale every single night unless we are having pizza or something like that. I'm extremely sick of it but I'm not giving in. He's currently sitting at the table with two more bites of broccoli to go.

Wow, did you post this from 1982?

If left to his own devices he'd live off cookies and granola bars. The pediatrician says get vegetables into them by any means necessary. And he's eaten broccoli happily in the past so it's not like this is something he hates (I don't make them eat food they truly dislike.) He's just hoping I'll give in and break out the carbs.
Also agree with the PP that American kids food is ridiculous. We just got back from Japan where we went to a lot of family restaurants and every kids menu consisted of Maguro bowl, curry rice and kitsune udon. My kids lived off curry and their same age Japanese cousins ordered off the adult menu because they think that food is boring!

I am confused. So, in Japan, there are kids menus which are mostly carby foods, with some fried ingredients, and limited palate, and some kids live off the menu there, and some get bored and eat other stuff, and it's evidence that Americans are ridiculous when they do the same thing?

The only thing fried there is one of the tofus in the kitsune. The point is there are strong flavors, this is not a limited palate. Compare to chicken nuggets, macaroni, hamburger and fries. No strong flavor and no vegetables to be seen. If OPs kids find lentil soup to be too strongly flavored then their palates need to be pushed a little. Again I know this isn't the current fashion in parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have always cooked and made what I made before kids. 8 year old will begrudgingly eat most things. 6 year old is a battle Royale every single night unless we are having pizza or something like that. I'm extremely sick of it but I'm not giving in. He's currently sitting at the table with two more bites of broccoli to go.

Wow, did you post this from 1982?

If left to his own devices he'd live off cookies and granola bars. The pediatrician says get vegetables into them by any means necessary. And he's eaten broccoli happily in the past so it's not like this is something he hates (I don't make them eat food they truly dislike.) He's just hoping I'll give in and break out the carbs.
Also agree with the PP that American kids food is ridiculous. We just got back from Japan where we went to a lot of family restaurants and every kids menu consisted of Maguro bowl, curry rice and kitsune udon. My kids lived off curry and their same age Japanese cousins ordered off the adult menu because they think that food is boring!

I am confused. So, in Japan, there are kids menus which are mostly carby foods, with some fried ingredients, and limited palate, and some kids live off the menu there, and some get bored and eat other stuff, and it's evidence that Americans are ridiculous when they do the same thing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have always cooked and made what I made before kids. 8 year old will begrudgingly eat most things. 6 year old is a battle Royale every single night unless we are having pizza or something like that. I'm extremely sick of it but I'm not giving in. He's currently sitting at the table with two more bites of broccoli to go.

Wow, did you post this from 1982?

If left to his own devices he'd live off cookies and granola bars. The pediatrician says get vegetables into them by any means necessary. And he's eaten broccoli happily in the past so it's not like this is something he hates (I don't make them eat food they truly dislike.) He's just hoping I'll give in and break out the carbs.
Also agree with the PP that American kids food is ridiculous. We just got back from Japan where we went to a lot of family restaurants and every kids menu consisted of Maguro bowl, curry rice and kitsune udon. My kids lived off curry and their same age Japanese cousins ordered off the adult menu because they think that food is boring!

We have never really catered to their tastes besides avoiding spicy foods. They eat what is offered, no special kid meals. A handful of times when they really dislike what was made for dinner I let them have scrambled eggs but that is pretty rare. This is how we have eaten their whole lives so they see it as normal. If you are already catering to them or making kid meals I think it would be hard to get that cat back into the bag.

Of course. If 8 yo doesn’t like the meal he is free to eat some fruit and cheese, or to make himself mac and cheese (we watch for safety, but he knows how to do it).

We cook for ourselves 90% of the time. Our picky eater might eat one item and then will supplement with some items we meal prep in advance (rice and beans, simple butter pasta, pancakes) so she gets enough protein. We always serve fruit and veggies with meals, she mostly sticks to the fruit.

I believe there is a benefit to her seeing us eating and enjoying a wide variety of foods, seeing and smelling foods she doesn't eat. I was a picky eater as a kid and when I got older I just started eating foods i had watch grown ups eat. I wasn't afraid of them, I just wasn't ready for them when I was younger. I think the exposure helps.

We never serve the "kid classics" at home (chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, hot dogs) but kids can order those at restaurants or on vacation. We don't cater in that way.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, all. Lots to think about. Sounds like most offer something different which sounds like it keeps the peace but doesn't encourage trying the food?

Maybe I should premake almond butter and jelly sandwiches and let him eat them until he's sick of it.

I’m the pp with the white rice kid above, and I wouldn’t say we offer something different. I’m more of the Ellen Sattyr mindset of making sure we have something available my kid will eat and giving him lots of access to new/unfamiliar things. So for us, that means lots of modular/build-your-own meals. Last night, it was rice bowls, which included roasted veggies, sautéed veggies, tofu, and a few different sauces, including a homemade peanut/ginger sauce that my oldest and I lap up and my picky eater doesn’t touch. Earlier this week we had a taco night that included a variety of toppings including roasted squash and bok choi and a homemade chimichurri that my picky eater tried but didn’t like and then canned pinto beans that I only had a TBSP of and picky eater probably ate a cup of.

I could go on and on with lots of examples of similar meals, but one key for me has been to keep the seasoning to a minimum in the initial cooking and then lean into a selection of sauces. I also make a lot of different soups, and my picky kid can usually be counted on to at least dip a grilled cheese into the soup whereas my older kid will wolf down the grilled cheese and the soup and a salad, and I might just have the soup and salad and a piece of bread.