Anonymous
01/13/2024 16:18
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Use your words.
If you wanted to leave in the morning, you should have said (the night before): “Let’s pack tonight because I would like to get an early start.”
She may see you doing nothing and think you want a lazy start to your birthday, who knows.
You are mad at her for not reading your mind and doing what you wish she would. Don’t hint and then seethe.
If you want a certain meal, tell her. She is not super sweet but you sound immature or manipulative.
You need to explain what would make you happy on your birthday. She did ask you.
If you wanted to leave in the morning, you should have said (the night before): “Let’s pack tonight because I would like to get an early start.”
She may see you doing nothing and think you want a lazy start to your birthday, who knows.
You are mad at her for not reading your mind and doing what you wish she would. Don’t hint and then seethe.
If you want a certain meal, tell her. She is not super sweet but you sound immature or manipulative.
You need to explain what would make you happy on your birthday. She did ask you.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:56
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And my wife did nothing.
About three weeks ago, she asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go glamping in a cabin out in the Shennadoah. She said which one, I said I don't know - you pick. She didn't as of a week ago, so I reserved one.
WhenI got up today, nothing had been done. No bags had been packed, no breakfast had been cooked, no groceries packed for the weekend, nothing. Around 11 she asked, again, what I wanted to do. I said I thought we were going out to the valley. She said Ok, just checking. Now its 1230 and i'm sitting in the den on the internet while she on the phone with her sister in law.
Am I suposed to have planned my own birthday trip? Was I supposed to buy and pack everything? Was this a trip for her or for me?
I tempted to pack for myself and queitly leave.
What would you do here?
Welcome to the club! My POS SAHM does nothing for me - ever. My birthday she only buys a cake but that's more for our kid than me. No present. No card. Same for Father's Day. On Christmas you know what she got me? New sheets for our bed. Yes, that's right. She also got me a desk lamp even though I have two already. And that was it. My kid got over 20 gifts and I bought her 10 gifts. I got two.
To top it off if I don't do something nice for her birthday, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Anniversary, and Christmas I'm a horrible human. One year I got her $200 flowers sent to the house, a custom $80 cake, and a card and gift and she shit on me saying I "didn't put enough thought into it". This year I've already told her I'm not getting her any gifts, she already spends our bank account like we're millionaires. I'll get her a cake and that's it.
My, my you sound lovely.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:38
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And my wife did nothing.
About three weeks ago, she asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go glamping in a cabin out in the Shennadoah. She said which one, I said I don't know - you pick. She didn't as of a week ago, so I reserved one.
WhenI got up today, nothing had been done. No bags had been packed, no breakfast had been cooked, no groceries packed for the weekend, nothing. Around 11 she asked, again, what I wanted to do. I said I thought we were going out to the valley. She said Ok, just checking. Now its 1230 and i'm sitting in the den on the internet while she on the phone with her sister in law.
Am I suposed to have planned my own birthday trip? Was I supposed to buy and pack everything? Was this a trip for her or for me?
I tempted to pack for myself and queitly leave.
What would you do here?
Welcome to the club! My POS SAHM does nothing for me - ever. My birthday she only buys a cake but that's more for our kid than me. No present. No card. Same for Father's Day. On Christmas you know what she got me? New sheets for our bed. Yes, that's right. She also got me a desk lamp even though I have two already. And that was it. My kid got over 20 gifts and I bought her 10 gifts. I got two.
To top it off if I don't do something nice for her birthday, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Anniversary, and Christmas I'm a horrible human. One year I got her $200 flowers sent to the house, a custom $80 cake, and a card and gift and she shit on me saying I "didn't put enough thought into it". This year I've already told her I'm not getting her any gifts, she already spends our bank account like we're millionaires. I'll get her a cake and that's it.
Is she supposed to get you a gift with your own money? I always wondered how that works with broke women.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:35
Subject: Re:Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No straight man asks his wife to go glamping. Try harder.
+1
OP again, not only am I straight and like glamping, but I also drink rose, eat sushi, like to garden, and even know how to braid my daughter's hair. Mind blowing for people like you, I'm sure.
Calling bs on the hair braiding. Had daddy do our hair while my mom was having a baby and that was the worst day of my childhood
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:32
Subject: Today is My Birthday
I'm pretty sure I'd be dragging my feet about the idea of "glamping" in January as well.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:27
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:And my wife did nothing.
About three weeks ago, she asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go glamping in a cabin out in the Shennadoah. She said which one, I said I don't know - you pick. She didn't as of a week ago, so I reserved one.
WhenI got up today, nothing had been done. No bags had been packed, no breakfast had been cooked, no groceries packed for the weekend, nothing. Around 11 she asked, again, what I wanted to do. I said I thought we were going out to the valley. She said Ok, just checking. Now its 1230 and i'm sitting in the den on the internet while she on the phone with her sister in law.
Am I suposed to have planned my own birthday trip? Was I supposed to buy and pack everything? Was this a trip for her or for me?
I tempted to pack for myself and queitly leave.
What would you do here?
Very clear your wife doesn't give two craps about going. So, pack and tell your wife you're heading to the cabin. Don't bring her because it'll just cause tense in a place where it's suppose to be peaceful. Go and enjoy the weekend. Let her know you're not happy because that's the only way she will learn or maybe - maybe - give two cents.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 15:25
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:And my wife did nothing.
About three weeks ago, she asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go glamping in a cabin out in the Shennadoah. She said which one, I said I don't know - you pick. She didn't as of a week ago, so I reserved one.
WhenI got up today, nothing had been done. No bags had been packed, no breakfast had been cooked, no groceries packed for the weekend, nothing. Around 11 she asked, again, what I wanted to do. I said I thought we were going out to the valley. She said Ok, just checking. Now its 1230 and i'm sitting in the den on the internet while she on the phone with her sister in law.
Am I suposed to have planned my own birthday trip? Was I supposed to buy and pack everything? Was this a trip for her or for me?
I tempted to pack for myself and queitly leave.
What would you do here?
Welcome to the club! My POS SAHM does nothing for me - ever. My birthday she only buys a cake but that's more for our kid than me. No present. No card. Same for Father's Day. On Christmas you know what she got me? New sheets for our bed. Yes, that's right. She also got me a desk lamp even though I have two already. And that was it. My kid got over 20 gifts and I bought her 10 gifts. I got two.
To top it off if I don't do something nice for her birthday, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Anniversary, and Christmas I'm a horrible human. One year I got her $200 flowers sent to the house, a custom $80 cake, and a card and gift and she shit on me saying I "didn't put enough thought into it". This year I've already told her I'm not getting her any gifts, she already spends our bank account like we're millionaires. I'll get her a cake and that's it.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 14:59
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Stop you’re whining…
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Anonymous
01/13/2024 13:12
Subject: Re:Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No straight man asks his wife to go glamping. Try harder.
+1
OP again, not only am I straight and like glamping, but I also drink rose, eat sushi, like to garden, and even know how to braid my daughter's hair. Mind blowing for people like you, I'm sure.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 13:07
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Did you tell her you'd reserved a site? Did you ever talk about what needed to be done, what time you'd leave, etc? Did you just book it and wait to see what she'd do? Did you pack your own stuff and neither your nor she said anything about it?
Anonymous
01/13/2024 13:07
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Communicate more
This. You’re playing this game of chicken where you’re waiting to see how long she’ll go and not saying what you want. Stop.
How old are you and how long have you been married?
NP. OP said exactly what he wanted and even rented the cabin after she failed to do so. Did you even read the post?
I read the post. It seems that the first time in three weeks that it was discussed when OP woke up this morning. Why wasn’t it discussed yesterday or during the week? That’s the game of chicken OP has been playing.
Also, IF this is the case that the spouse didn’t plan, then this cannot be new behavior and OP knew it would go down like this. OP can keep doing the same but wanting a different outcome, and find themself on Disappointment Mountain. Or OP could try something different like plan the damn trip, tell the spouse to be ready at x time. Or go alone. Or decide this is a deal breaker in your marriage. But being pissed off or disappointed are non starters if you’re not trying something different.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 13:01
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Communicate more
This. You’re playing this game of chicken where you’re waiting to see how long she’ll go and not saying what you want. Stop.
How old are you and how long have you been married?
NP. OP said exactly what he wanted and even rented the cabin after she failed to do so. Did you even read the post?
Anonymous
01/13/2024 13:00
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Communicate more
This. You’re playing this game of chicken where you’re waiting to see how long she’ll go and not saying what you want. Stop.
How old are you and how long have you been married?
How has he not said what he wants?
It’s not that she hasn’t done it all.
It sounds like she’s done NOTHING.
Anonymous
01/13/2024 12:59
Subject: Today is My Birthday
Well my DW did nothing for our 20th wedding anniversary, so suck it up buttercup
Anonymous
01/13/2024 12:58
Subject: Re:Today is My Birthday
Anonymous wrote:No straight man asks his wife to go glamping. Try harder.
+1