Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL never smoked a day in his life and died of metastatic lung cancer. It does happen

The first cause of lung cancer in the US, besides smoking, is radon exposure in buildings. Please get radon measured over the long term (not just a one-time test). They sell monitors that measure daily radon levels. You'll see radon spikes considerably after heavy rains. Don't spend lengthy periods of time in basements or anywhere underground unless you've done this.

Thank you for sharing this, but he lived in TX where basements aren’t really a thing.

Then the ground floor needs to be checked.

Mother: 80, showing signs of cognitive decline, healthy otherwise. Her parents both died in their early 70s due to smoking.

Father: 82, 100% healthy body & mind, his mother died in 1990 at age 85 but only because she broke her hip and got a hospital acquired infection. My prediction is that he lives to 95.

I’ve begun convos with them re driving & finances and asked my Dad what he thinks he can/cannot handle re my mother as she declines. I’m finding all of it VERY hard and SAD

Mom: now 85 and totally healthy apart from hearing loss. A decade ago I thought she was on a rapid downhill slope, but it turned out it was just that her knee and hip arthritis had reached a critical level and she was in such constant pain it affected everything. Four joint replacements and she's in many ways in better shape than she was a decade ago. I consider us both very lucky.

Sometime in his later 70's Dad started developing Alzheimers/dementia. Lived 5-7yrs. Mom did the thinking, reminding, was the responsible adult. No driving. He golfed, they traveled to their second home for the winter. An adult child always got them there, and another lived there so could check on them. Dad attended social functions he would have done otherwise but it was obvious something was "off".

Then 2 years of Assisted Living sharing an apt with Mom. Seemed like it would have been very hard on Mom. She coped by ignoring a lot of his behavior. He started wandering at night. Would have some ugly emotional outbursts. Mom benefitted socially from living there.

Then <2 years in Dementia Wing of the same complex. Mom could visit him daily, riding on her electric scooter since she no longer walked much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL never smoked a day in his life and died of metastatic lung cancer. It does happen

The first cause of lung cancer in the US, besides smoking, is radon exposure in buildings. Please get radon measured over the long term (not just a one-time test). They sell monitors that measure daily radon levels. You'll see radon spikes considerably after heavy rains. Don't spend lengthy periods of time in basements or anywhere underground unless you've done this.

That’s interesting and good to know. I doubt my parents ever had their 1930’s house checked for radon. But I do think it was the secondhand smoke that did it for my dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL never smoked a day in his life and died of metastatic lung cancer. It does happen

The first cause of lung cancer in the US, besides smoking, is radon exposure in buildings. Please get radon measured over the long term (not just a one-time test). They sell monitors that measure daily radon levels. You'll see radon spikes considerably after heavy rains. Don't spend lengthy periods of time in basements or anywhere underground unless you've done this.

Thank you for sharing this, but he lived in TX where basements aren’t really a thing.

Anonymous wrote:My FIL never smoked a day in his life and died of metastatic lung cancer. It does happen

The first cause of lung cancer in the US, besides smoking, is radon exposure in buildings. Please get radon measured over the long term (not just a one-time test). They sell monitors that measure daily radon levels. You'll see radon spikes considerably after heavy rains. Don't spend lengthy periods of time in basements or anywhere underground unless you've done this.

^ We have told our kids this. Based on experience with our own parents. This is poster 9:44 again. We are 60-70 now

I think when they crossed 80, that's when we needed to step-in. Don't assume the elder has-it-all-together after 80. Driving, handling bills, financial decisions - be prepared. You likely will need to accept the fact that you are the most competent adult in the room. Just as if they are toddlers, there will be times when they are mad at you but you do some things or apply pressure for their own safety

My FIL never smoked a day in his life and died of metastatic lung cancer. It does happen

My dad died of metastatic lung cancer at the age of 73- he was diagnosed at 70 and no amount of treatment did anything. Sad thing is he stopped smoking in his 20’s but lived with my mom who smoked in the house the entire time they were married.

My 82 year old mom has had atrial fibrillation forever but it’s been controlled. She was diagnosed with vascular dementia about 3-4 years ago and now has a host of other issues- she’s had two knee surgeries, rotator cuff surgery, cirrhosis of the liver (not caused by alcohol), a slipped disk in her back. Her physical ailments are as bad as her cognitive issues. She’s in constant pain because her body doesn’t tolerate any narcotics or muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories cause stomach ulcers which, when coupled with the blood thinners that moderate her a-fib, can lead to severe internal bleeding. She is a hot, stinking mess and frankly her quality of life sucks.

Mom 83 some dementia
Dad now 89, nothing serious

Mother, 26 - Multiple Sclerosis. I was born when she was 30 and she's still alive and "well" at 73.

Father, 70s - rigidity/OCD/anxiety. We suspect these are the precursors to dementia. Still alive at 73 and physically well.

Me - auto-immune disease. Heart disease, dementia and breast cancer family history in grandparents and aunts.

DD - auto-immune disease markers elevated.

My parents in their mid 70s don’t have any health problems I am aware of. My dad is starting to slow down a bit, and we are always watching for signs of Alzheimer’s because that is what happened to his dad in his 70s.

My husband lost his dad to cancer in his 60s. His mom is now in her 70s and is a breast cancer survivor. She has had a couple other odd health scares, but I don’t think that they were long term health issues. She is still working part time and seems to be doing pretty well.

Oddly, I am the spouse with the health issues. Colon cancer at 41. Thyroid condition. Autoimmune disorder. All freak occurrences with no history/genetic component.

You just never know.

Skewed because my father was a lifelong alcoholic, but 73 diagnosed with dementia then constellation of health events to include a cancerous polyps, a fall, surgery, ending in dying at 84.

My mom had open heart surgery at 70 to correct a congenital condition that we swear made her bionic and even more energetic. She is now in final stages of heart failure @88.

My MIL just received a dementia diagnosis @ 74.