It’s cheap.

Anonymous wrote:Spinoff of the "upset my date" thread. Is it rude, odd, or inappropriate to take restaurant leftovers home with you after an early date? Say, the first 1-3 dates or so?

I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely sends the message that the date is over and you aren't going to ask or be up for an after-dinner walk by the water, drinks, etc.

Do you think people who leave their leftovers behind are wasteful or that people who pack up their leftovers are overly focused on the food rather than the date as a whole?

Not asking about what you do with your spouse, partner, or family - specifically asking in the context of early stages of dating.

This is a good point. On my first date with my now DH (after meeting at a bar) I was so nervous/excited I could only order a salad. Afterward we decided to walk to a nearby restaurant for another round of drinks (for which I paid since he got dinner/our first drinks). After that we ended up walking around and talking until almost 2 am (we also both ran into friends while out and socialized in a group too). This was back in our 20s when the whole night was just waiting to unfold.

If you really have butterflies about someone and are excited to spend time with them, I just can’t imagine ordering a big meal and then packing it to go. Unless maybe it’s a weeknight blind date and you know you have to head straight home/the chemistry was slow to build.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

I like this kind of unexpected twist where you start to think “ummmm rude” and then it switches to “oh he’s actually being generous and thoughtful”

But. Question is, did he give just your portion away, or all of it?

All of it! I didn't realize it was ambiguous but I think giving away just my little portion and keeping his would have been a less charming gesture.

I’m a man and have never given this a second thought when a woman does this. Sometimes it’s ended up on my fridge at the end of the night and they take it home the next day.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

I like this kind of unexpected twist where you start to think “ummmm rude” and then it switches to “oh he’s actually being generous and thoughtful”

But. Question is, did he give just your portion away, or all of it?

In my dating years I always ordered something small or light to keep the cost down and that eating is not the most attractive thing. Until I was engaged I never took leftovers home. Prices are so high now I definitely take stuff home.

I would eat all my food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

DP here: yes, there are some women who do this on OLD. It's more common in NYC and LA, but I imagine there are probably some here in DC too.

No matter how much you want to deny it - and it may certainly not happen in your friend group - there are a non-zero number of women on OLD in major cities who dinner-date a few days per week. And men are more likely to encounter these women because of these women have a high frequency of meeting men for dinner.

For men in NYC, women on OLD will frequently ask that the man send the woman an Uber or Lyft to pick them up and bring them home. I've literally read the messages myself; it's absurd.

The whole point of not letting your date pick you up or drive you home is because it's a safety issue early on. Having them order you a car defeats that completely.
Are you sure these are actual New Yorkers? City girls aren't this stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

DP here: yes, there are some women who do this on OLD. It's more common in NYC and LA, but I imagine there are probably some here in DC too.

No matter how much you want to deny it - and it may certainly not happen in your friend group - there are a non-zero number of women on OLD in major cities who dinner-date a few days per week. And men are more likely to encounter these women because of these women have a high frequency of meeting men for dinner.

For men in NYC, women on OLD will frequently ask that the man send the woman an Uber or Lyft to pick them up and bring them home. I've literally read the messages myself; it's absurd.

The Uber thing is tactless but I don't see how this proves they are only out for free meals. It just proves they go on a lot of dates. Is the implication here that they are not having sex on the first date so just trying to get a free dinner? I think it's much more likely they are lonely and enjoy the idea of getting dressed up to go out or their biological clock is ticking so they're churning through guys trying to find a catch. I would certainly hope they would not be having sex with multiple new guys per week (over 100 per year!).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

DP here: yes, there are some women who do this on OLD. It's more common in NYC and LA, but I imagine there are probably some here in DC too.

No matter how much you want to deny it - and it may certainly not happen in your friend group - there are a non-zero number of women on OLD in major cities who dinner-date a few days per week. And men are more likely to encounter these women because of these women have a high frequency of meeting men for dinner.

For men in NYC, women on OLD will frequently ask that the man send the woman an Uber or Lyft to pick them up and bring them home. I've literally read the messages myself; it's absurd.

DP. These men don't have to go out with these women, though. They can do cheaper first dates, like happy hour, if they don't want to buy dinners right away. I imagine that the women who have guys lining up to buy them dinner on date #1 and/or pay for their uber are very beautiful and have lots of options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

Was the chemistry just missing? I would have been strongly inclined to marry that person, myself.

Yeah, he was a really cool guy and the conversation flowed but neither of us really got sparks. I don't think it was a move on his part, I think it was just that he was a nice person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

Was the chemistry just missing? I would have been strongly inclined to marry that person, myself.

Although I should add that the very jaded part of me suspects it could have been a 'move' intended to get him laid.

If I know portions will be large then I’ll get a dinner salad or a hearty appetizer. I wouldn’t walk out with leftovers on a first date.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

Was the chemistry just missing? I would have been strongly inclined to marry that person, myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

DP here: yes, there are some women who do this on OLD. It's more common in NYC and LA, but I imagine there are probably some here in DC too.

No matter how much you want to deny it - and it may certainly not happen in your friend group - there are a non-zero number of women on OLD in major cities who dinner-date a few days per week. And men are more likely to encounter these women because of these women have a high frequency of meeting men for dinner.

For men in NYC, women on OLD will frequently ask that the man send the woman an Uber or Lyft to pick them up and bring them home. I've literally read the messages myself; it's absurd.

No this is just some BS that incels make up.