Mentor and therapist are not synonymous. If the mentee needs help beyond professional guidance, provide her with EAP resources. I would establish clear boundaries and definitions of what you are and aren't.

First, this is relatable. I volunteer with a few organizations that connect IT professionals with disadvantaged young people. I believe it’s super important in principle but in reality I find that many of the mentees are unfortunately facing HUGE obstacles that are difficult to help via a mentoring relationship. Example: needs an IT job and is taking classes but has no car, is on brink of losing their apartment, etc. etc. So I feel really ineffective giving interview and resume advice that only scratches the surface of what they need! It feels like I’m a doctor and someone is coming to me with a heart attack and a sore throat and I say, here’s some pills for your throat, good luck with the heart attack.

This person probably lacks a filter although I also know that some mentees are hoping for a fairy godmother and I don’t even blame them. But you want to be wary of anyone angling to take advantage of you.

All of this is to say, I would have done the same here and stuck to the professional question. For someone I am mentoring longer term and have a rapport with, Id give them more advice on what not to say in a professional situation. But it really has to be done with sensitivity and humanity that isn’t really possible in a one off random email.

Anonymous wrote:As a mentor, you choose and control the level of engagement. It sounds like you want to be a pure work mentor. I dont mind being a mentor for my "kids" and I find that it is often the personal nonwork stuff that really deepens the relationship.

Yes but it shouldn't be part of the mentee's very first email.

That just sounds very Gen Z

As a mentor, you choose and control the level of engagement. It sounds like you want to be a pure work mentor. I dont mind being a mentor for my "kids" and I find that it is often the personal nonwork stuff that really deepens the relationship.