Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone saying "that's how it's done now"?

I graduated high school 20 years ago and we went to prom and homecoming in groups. Some had dates, others didn't. Always had a blast.

That's not how it was for me 20 years ago. It was traditional, old school 1:1 pairing. Maybe it's a regional thing, so maybe it wasn't like that in the South back then.

Around here it’s very normal for girls to not have dates or to have other girls as dates or any other random combination. Mine is 27 and has never had a date for any dance. But down South where they do something called a Sub Deb…..I feel like the DCUM crowd might not be the right reference point for you. I feel like your world might be different. I cannot even imagine the level of eyeroll that my kid would give me if I suggested anything that sounded like a debutante dance to her. So the standards may just be different. But at the end of the day just be supportive. Tell her you thiink she’ll have a great time and you’re proud of her for not being dependent on a man to take her. Tell her if it turns out that people paid off and the whole thing stinks, you will pick her up no questions asked and you can watch a movie or get ice cream.
I had anxiety the first time mine went to a dance by herself (not with friends), worried she’d get there and be miserable. I decided I could telegraph my worries, which would probably make it worse and then make her feel insecure and crappy about it, or tell her I was proud of her initiative, to have fun, but that I as always there for her if it turned out it sucked. She ran into some people she vaguely knew and had a great time!

Anonymous wrote:Are you really questioning whether your daughter can go to a dance without a f’ing date and have fun?!?!? Of course she can. Kudos to her. Stop the old fashion NS Grandmom. Most girls are realizing they rather be happy than appease a man. And many are happily single or gay. Need flash: most men, especially teens suck.

+1

Why is everyone saying "that's how it's done now"?

I graduated high school 20 years ago and we went to prom and homecoming in groups. Some had dates, others didn't. Always had a blast.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes we’re in the south. Sounds like I need to stay out of it though. Advice taken.

You first mistake was having her participate in this antiquated garbage

And yes stay out of it ugh who still does this

I know it’s the south so this maybe hasn’t crossed your mind, OP, but it’s possible she is not wanting to have a guy as her date because boys are not her thing?

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is going to Sub Deb next weekend. She plans to get ready and then go with a group of 4 other girlfriends. Each of her four friends has asked a date to the dance. DD hasn’t asked anyone. There are definitely guys she could ask to go with her as friends, but she refuses.
I explained to her that it might be awkward being the only one without a date. I explained a few possible scenarios that could play out. She insists that there are other kids she can hang out with and that it won’t be awkward at all.
I’ve dropped it completely and won’t bring it up again, but I feel like she’s being extremely naive here. I don’t see this playing out well. Is this normal and common in today’s world?

Well, mom, if you’re right, she’ll learn, won’t she? Of course she’s naive. She’s 17. If this is her biggest mistake at this age, you are extremely fortunate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes we’re in the south. Sounds like I need to stay out of it though. Advice taken.

Like I said, I think it's the new normal. Kids seem to go to dances in groups these days, and then hang out together.

New normal? I went to prom without a date 30 years ago, as did a bunch of other people. This has been normal for decades.

Is she attractive?

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is going to Sub Deb next weekend. She plans to get ready and then go with a group of 4 other girlfriends. Each of her four friends has asked a date to the dance. DD hasn’t asked anyone. There are definitely guys she could ask to go with her as friends, but she refuses.
I explained to her that it might be awkward being the only one without a date. I explained a few possible scenarios that could play out. She insists that there are other kids she can hang out with and that it won’t be awkward at all.
I’ve dropped it completely and won’t bring it up again, but I feel like she’s being extremely naive here. I don’t see this playing out well. Is this normal and common in today’s world?

It's totally fine and not awkward at all for this generation to go to formals without an "official' date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you on DCUM if you’re in the south?

+1 to wtf is a sub deb???

It's where you make your presentation to BDSM society, obviously.

What is BDSM?

Yankee here

Oh Lord. It was a joke. BDSM is kinky sex involving bondage, dominance, and submission. In that community, submissive partners are called subs, so a sub deb sounds like a debutante party for subs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you on DCUM if you’re in the south?

+1 to wtf is a sub deb???

It's where you make your presentation to BDSM society, obviously.

What is BDSM?

Yankee here

Anonymous wrote:Why are you on DCUM if you’re in the south?

+1 to wtf is a sub deb???

It's where you make your presentation to BDSM society, obviously.

Why are you on DCUM if you’re in the south?

+1 to wtf is a sub deb???

Are you really questioning whether your daughter can go to a dance without a f’ing date and have fun?!?!? Of course she can. Kudos to her. Stop the old fashion NS Grandmom. Most girls are realizing they rather be happy than appease a man. And many are happily single or gay. Need flash: most men, especially teens suck.