My kids are in their 20s - and so far, the weddings they have attended have been super casual affairs and small. More like parties - in one case the bride and groom said their vows in jeans. In another, the couple rented out a bunch of air-bnbs on a lake and everybody stayed the weekend. Another was a boat ride in Charleston and the couple got married on the boat - it was less than 50 people. I personally think these options sound fun and much more economical.

Anonymous wrote:YES. There in an industry designed to make you keep up with the Joneses. Just say no. done

This

Waste of money

Give them the money for savings or a house if you want but big wedding no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how much a nice wedding (nice venue, nice food, photographer, flowers etc) with a hundred guests would cost in the DMV

The word "nice" is doing a lot of work here.

Almost none of the things couples worry about when they're planning a wedding actually matter to their guests.


Signed,
My generally delightful niece is currently losing her mind over how her dog will transport the rings down the aisles

Double whammy or crazy dog owner meets stressed-out bride made me LOL

Anonymous wrote:We paid for three very nice weddings without getting all worked up about it. They each got exactly what they wanted. The cheapest was about $40k, the most expensive about double that. In the scheme of things, it’s not that much. People on this board routinely spend that much each and every year to send a kid to private school. That’s way more crazy in my view.

I’m the PP with the 1996 “budget” wedding and $40K for the least expensive option sounds about right to me for today mostly because the punch and cake reception isn’t really done anymore. The expectation is definitely dinner and party/dancing at extravagant expense.
I loved my low key wedding but will likely be all in for the extravagance of a big wedding for my daughter. I will just try hard not to cringe at the pricetag

Everyone should throw a wedding that fits comfortably within their budget. I hope to throw blowouts for my three children, but that's only because our HHI is high and we'll be able to cashflow it. If it weren't, then I'd throw a really nice party at a fire hall or in my back yard or something. When I'm invited to a wedding I really don't give a crap where it is or how much someone spent. I mean, I hope there's good food, but whether it's filet mignon or pulled pork sandwiches I'm happy.

Anonymous wrote:We spent $20k on our wedding in 2005, in a major city. Parents chipped in $10k. It’s a once in a life time event, so we felt that it was worth it.

My parents set. $5K limit for wedding expenses inclusive of dress in mid-90s.
In-laws pitched in $2K so that we could host reception at a hotel ballroom.
There were 230 people in attendance in a major city (but not on either coast) and there was no DJ, dancing, or dinner served.

So I don’t know how PP was able to do a 2005 wedding on a $20K budget. Or maybe she meant $30K due to EXTRA $10K from parents? At any rate, on a $30K wedding budget in 1996, we would have probably been able to offer a buffet dinner with DJ/dancing and a champagne toast instead of punch and cake. But I don’t think it would have been enough for open bar, live band, seated dinner for that number of guests, even 25 years ago.
But you could probably do all that for 100-150 at about $75/pp and still get the venue, band/DJ, dress, photographer, flower$$, linens, centerpieces, etc for under $40K, right?

either is fine

You can spend what you would spend for a new luxury car or you can spend what you would spend for a very basic used car. That's the range of budgets for a wedding.

We paid for three very nice weddings without getting all worked up about it. They each got exactly what they wanted. The cheapest was about $40k, the most expensive about double that. In the scheme of things, it’s not that much. People on this board routinely spend that much each and every year to send a kid to private school. That’s way more crazy in my view.

Anonymous wrote:Curious how much a nice wedding (nice venue, nice food, photographer, flowers etc) with a hundred guests would cost in the DMV

The word "nice" is doing a lot of work here.

Almost none of the things couples worry about when they're planning a wedding actually matter to their guests.


Signed,
My generally delightful niece is currently losing her mind over how her dog will transport the rings down the aisle

Curious how much a nice wedding (nice venue, nice food, photographer, flowers etc) with a hundred guests would cost in the DMV

I couldn't even find a decent man to date, how was I going to find one I wanted to marry and spend tens of thousands to do so. I also have few friends and family here. Who was going to come?
I don't care for a house, nice car, pets, funerals, wrapping presents, backyard parties, holidays.
I asked my boys not to have kids or get married. Very selfish I know.

Anonymous wrote:YES. There in an industry designed to make you keep up with the Joneses. Just say no. done

+1

You don't have to invite your church friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We spent $20k on our wedding in 2005, in a major city. Parents chipped in $10k. It’s a once in a life time event, so we felt that it was worth it.

Statistics say that for like half the population it’s most certainly not once in a lifetime.

+1

Anonymous wrote:We ended up having a small wedding (fewer than 40 people) at a local restaurant. We made a playlist for the music, a family member officiated, I did the flowers myself, and we hired a relatively inexpensive part time photographer (she did a great job with the photos). We don’t have any video. DH got a new suit and I bought my dress on eBay for like $100 (cost more to have it taken in!). We also hosted the rehearsal dinner at a different restaurant for maybe 25ish people. Beer & wine only at both events. Cost about $10k, 10 years ago, which was the absolute max of our budget. DH was in grad school at the time, we had only my income at the time and paid for it ourselves with a mix of savings and credit cards.

I don’t have any regrets, but we wanted a small wedding.

You have your priorities straight, and you are not feeding into the hype - you get it.