Anonymous wrote:My DS had this issue in MS, and his reply was to roll with it and say, "I'm fun size!"

But by the time he was about half-way through 8th grade he was tired of it all and moved to, "your mom didn't think I was so small last night".

And I was perfectly fine with that reply.

"I got size where it matters. Ask your mom"

is a pretty good response

Your son needs privacy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess related to the height thread…DS told me tonight several of his friends have recently been making fun of him daily for being shorter than they are. These are 10/11 year olds who are all over the place in terms of growth, but DS is on the smaller side. Anyone got good responses? Because so far asking them to stop has apparently done nothing.

This sort of bullying is a form of oppression, and is most definitely not ok!

It's actually a dominance play and MS is the age where kids tend to test this stuff out, even with friends. While not pleasant for any of us, it's developmentally normal. Since struggles over dominance, in one form or another, will happen throughout your life time, the best way forward is to figure out how to deal with it.

Not allowing the dominance play is a good strategy. Hence, simply agreeing to the obvious truth without appearing to bothered by it.

My DS had this issue in MS, and his reply was to roll with it and say, "I'm fun size!"

But by the time he was about half-way through 8th grade he was tired of it all and moved to, "your mom didn't think I was so small last night".

And I was perfectly fine with that reply.

Anonymous wrote:I guess related to the height thread…DS told me tonight several of his friends have recently been making fun of him daily for being shorter than they are. These are 10/11 year olds who are all over the place in terms of growth, but DS is on the smaller side. Anyone got good responses? Because so far asking them to stop has apparently done nothing.

This sort of bullying is a form of oppression, and is most definitely not ok!

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to ignore them and work on being smarter, a better athlete, charismatic, and a harder worker than them. Those are the characteristics that will set him above and apart from the pack. Height might come off initially as a positive attribute- but without the other characteristics mentioned, it is nothing.

OP - I agree and we certainly focus on that. But it's also hard as a 10 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t ask them to stop. The best way to get them to stop is to agree. “Yep, I’m short!” And then move on.

This is what DS did, and it was fairly effective. He is now 5'6" at age 15, and although he is still relatively short, the height differential is not nearly as bad as when he was 13. No one says anything at all at this point.

OP - we practiced saying that this morning, will see how it goes.

Anonymous wrote:Can he get into wrestling or indoor soccer?
Lots of short, confident guys in those sports

He's incredibly athletic and strong, that's not an issue.

Don’t ask them to stop. The best way to get them to stop is to agree. “Yep, I’m short!” And then move on.

This is what DS did, and it was fairly effective. He is now 5'6" at age 15, and although he is still relatively short, the height differential is not nearly as bad as when he was 13. No one says anything at all at this point.

Anonymous wrote:Mine used to say, "Being short is temporary but being an idiot is forever."

Uh, didn't anyone just respond

"uh, actually being short isnt temporary"

Anonymous wrote:I had/have 2 like this. They basically slugged it out when necessary but only when it was friends.

What year was this?

With boys, especially, laugh it off.

-mother of once short DS who now is taller than most of his friends

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask them to stop. The best way to get them to stop is to agree. “Yep, I’m short!” And then move on.

This is what DS does. It helps that DS somehow has this underlying confidence. He also has very blond hair and it looks like he doesn’t have eyebrows. He was talking about how he gets comments about that and then said “but I’m happy with how I look. I know I’m not perfect, but nobody is.”

+1. Teach your son to be proud of how he looks.

I have a tall DH and very tall DS, and this is something that I’ve been hyper aware of since my DS was a very tall toddler and the mothers of much smaller toddler boys would comment on it. We (adults) are obsessed with tall people and give tall people so many unearned social privileges because they are tall. It is dumb and unfair, but children do it because they are mirroring what adults do. If we, the grown ups, could quit being obsessed with others’ bodies, this wouldn’t be a problem. It is not appropriate for us to constantly comment on others bodies.

-he’s so tall
-she’s so petite and cute
-she’s so tiny
-she’s so pretty
-what delicate features she has

I hear people saying these sorts of things about children all the time. You are doing a few things when you do this. First, you are drawing attention to the appearance and body of a child. Why? What valuable purpose does that serve? Secondly, you are sending a message to those children that you approve of and admire their body or appearance. Why? Further, you are sending a message to the other children around that might not have those same characteristics, that they are lesser, because they are not tall, or cute, or petite.

Just drop the commentary on people’s bodies in general.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask them to stop. The best way to get them to stop is to agree. “Yep, I’m short!” And then move on.

This is what DS does. It helps that DS somehow has this underlying confidence. He also has very blond hair and it looks like he doesn’t have eyebrows. He was talking about how he gets comments about that and then said “but I’m happy with how I look. I know I’m not perfect, but nobody is.”