Anonymous
Post 01/12/2024 08:09     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
My kid has a last name from my spouse's family and a middle name from my family. My PhD was free and my topic was excellent. I don't believe we've ever compared the relative wealth of our families.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2024 10:32     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:Deciding what to name our second kid. First kid is named after DH’s dad. Would it be weird if second kid also has a name from DH’s mom? It would mean a lot more to DH family- My family doesnt have a tradition of naming kids after relatives. It literally has never been done and is not part of our culture. But DH wonders anyway if my parents should have “their turn” and a have a middle name from my side of the family. He thinks they will secretly be pleased. We floated the idea as a thought and they said “oh that’s nice” but didn’t have much of a reaction otherwise. Whereas if baby is named after DH’s mom, she will be over the moon and guaranteed to cry buckets on the spot.

To complicate things, DH’s family is way wealthier so it influences how this will be perceived by both sides or by third parties. Not why we are doing it but thought it was worth mentioning.


Naming both after one side of the family is not a big deal to me, especially since it's important to his side and not to yours. If I knew your family dynamics I would never assume you were sucking up to the richer grandparents, unless there was additional context about you chasing their approval. But naming a brother and sister after a husband and wife strikes me as a bit . . . icky. Imagine meeting a brother and sister Adam and Eve, for example. Unless both are only middle names, I'd avoid that scenario.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2024 10:28     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Will it be obvious to your parents that both names came from DH's family? They may not even consciously realize it.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2024 10:25     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:Why not just give the kid their own name without any family strings attached?


+1

No historical burdens, OP. Once you find out the shortcomings of the (person with the origin of the name), there is no going back.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2024 03:38     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
I honestly didn't know that people name because they want money from in-laws outside a certain very extreme sub-set if people. Is this typical in DC?

We have 4 kids; 3 have middle names from my side, 1 from the other, because it felt unfair (evne though we didn't like the other sides' names that much)
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2024 00:04     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Omg how is this even a question. Of course you choose the side of the family who will fund the name choice baby’s PhD. Yes. You do. We all know it. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

Gotta love your husband for the polite try though. That was very sweet. And he also knows you’re not going to do it.


PhDs are free and grant funded.
Otherwise you shouldn’t be doing one, your topic sux.


PhDs are free? Snort.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 22:16     Subject: Re:Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:I like using family names. We named my son after his grandfather, one daughter after her two great grandmothers, one after my SIL and one after my MIL. I’m named after my great grandmother. We wouldn’t have used the names unless we really liked them. I’ve never been a fan of in vogue names like Oliver and Liam.


My great grandfather's name was Oliver.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 22:15     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:Why not just give the kid their own name without any family strings attached?


This! Let kids have their own names
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 21:58     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Don't use another middle name from your husband's family. You'll look like you're not proud of your family or like you think husband's family is more important.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 21:52     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable for you is that you already mentioned it to your parents. I’d try to find a first middle combo that honors both families. We used a last name from my side of the family (not my original one) as a first for one of my kids. We had to get creative.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 21:24     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Why not just give the kid their own name without any family strings attached?
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 21:17     Subject: Re:Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
I like using family names. We named my son after his grandfather, one daughter after her two great grandmothers, one after my SIL and one after my MIL. I’m named after my great grandmother. We wouldn’t have used the names unless we really liked them. I’ve never been a fan of in vogue names like Oliver and Liam.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 20:44     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:Omg how is this even a question. Of course you choose the side of the family who will fund the name choice baby’s PhD. Yes. You do. We all know it. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

Gotta love your husband for the polite try though. That was very sweet. And he also knows you’re not going to do it.


PhDs are free and grant funded.
Otherwise you shouldn’t be doing one, your topic sux.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 19:35     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
LOL. Certain kiss arse relatives are totally going to do this because they do not MISS an opportunity (dates, names, faux hommage du jour LOL), and the grandparents well know this.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2024 19:31     Subject: Middle names of kids both from DH’s family?
Anonymous wrote:Rich grandparents always get naming honors


+1

Yup. You want the cash or not?