Anonymous wrote:If that revelation happened to me I would immediately suspect there were other incidents of cheating also. It is highly unlikely he cheated for six months with an ex GF and then stopped and never cheated again after having totally gotten away with it.
I would not start trying to catch him at it or find evidence however. I would see a counselor for myself and try to figure out whether I wanted to be married to this guy.
Anonymous wrote:It was 9 years ago. I understand you feel a lack of trust and violation of your marriage but unless it happened multiple times, it's water under the bridge.
Anonymous wrote:I call troll because there was no reason for him not to go along and pretend he’d been to that destination prior to the marriage.
Anonymous wrote:That is pretty much the whole story. He slept with his college ex about every other week for 6 months during year 5 of our marriage. I'm pretty much shaking.
Anonymous wrote:Putting the most positive face on this, it seems likely that he got it out of his system and you "won".
Anyone that cheats like that is a promise-breaker and might do it again.
That doesn't mean you have to divorce.
You need to line up marital counseling that is objective - neither pro-reconciliation nor pro-divorce.
Don't catastrophize. Honor your feelings of sadness and betrayal. Your husband owes you full disclosure.
Do not contact or seek out the social media of the OW. She is morally reprehensible as well and you will get no peace from contacting her or seeking out details about her. She is not your concern.
I'm sorry for your hurt. Be brave.
Anonymous wrote:I call troll because there was no reason for him not to go along and pretend he’d been to that destination prior to the marriage.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ehh, it ended. Old history. Have a smile and a coke and shut the F up
Not only was he unfaithful to his wife, his friends know about it and embarrassed her in front of them. Don't just shut the f up.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry.
+1 Did he tell you, OP, or did you find out some other way? Does he know you know?
He did not tell me. Over the weekend we were at a party that had some of his college friends there. One of them was talking about an upcoming trip to Tulum Mexico. He asked my husband if the area they were going to stay in was the right area. He hemmed and hawed and told him he was confusing him with someone else as he had never been there. It was awkward enough that the guy stopped pressing but I knew something was up. He took her there for a trip when he was supposedly in Miami on work travel. He confessed everything.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry.
+1 Did he tell you, OP, or did you find out some other way? Does he know you know?
He did not tell me. Over the weekend we were at a party that had some of his college friends there. One of them was talking about an upcoming trip to Tulum Mexico. He asked my husband if the area they were going to stay in was the right area. He hemmed and hawed and told him he was confusing him with someone else as he had never been there. It was awkward enough that the guy stopped pressing but I knew something was up. He took her there for a trip when he was supposedly in Miami on work travel. He confessed everything.
I would have a real problem with this. Sure, it happened years ago, but he TOOK HER ON A TRIP. So he took time and money away from his family and went to Mexico with is mistress. I’d separate/have him move out while you figure out what you want and how to proceed.
Anonymous wrote:Ehh, it ended. Old history. Have a smile and a coke and shut the F up
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry.
+1 Did he tell you, OP, or did you find out some other way? Does he know you know?
He did not tell me. Over the weekend we were at a party that had some of his college friends there. One of them was talking about an upcoming trip to Tulum Mexico. He asked my husband if the area they were going to stay in was the right area. He hemmed and hawed and told him he was confusing him with someone else as he had never been there. It was awkward enough that the guy stopped pressing but I knew something was up. He took her there for a trip when he was supposedly in Miami on work travel. He confessed everything.
I would have a real problem with this. Sure, it happened years ago, but he TOOK HER ON A TRIP. So he took time and money away from his family and went to Mexico with is mistress. I’d separate/have him move out while you figure out what you want and how to proceed.