Anonymous wrote:Who are the idiots that come up with these expressions. Why not “is sex important to you in a relationship- yes or no.”

The expression "sex positive" dates back to the early 80's. Where ya been?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-positive_movement#:~:text=Sex%2Dpositivity%20is%20%22an%20attitude,healthy%20and%20consensual%20sexual%20activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

Wow… all the guy said was that he wouldn’t entertain a non sexual relationship, and to you this equates to demanding sex? That’s a you issue, not a him issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

Yes, nobody gets to "demand" sex but a person CAN choose not to date or stay married to some frigid ice queen. That too is a choice!

I’m not sure I would connect with a man who claimed to be “sex positive” in his OLD profile, but I think it’s good to be really honest about who you are and what you are looking for so that no one’s time is wasted.

It means sex is his primary goal.

People are misunderstanding and completely misusing this phrase.

People who dont understand it are (apparently) using it to mean "I like sex a lot". It's more about being open and nonjudgemental and wanting to explore consensual activities with their partner.

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Anonymous wrote:Polyamorous

That's what I would think it means. Why not just be honest with this trait?

Nah. I think people using "sex-positive" mean that it's a focus the relationship, something they enjoy, and a central part of their lives. It's not a nice extra if things happen to work out; and it's certainly not shameful. While someone who is polyamorous is more likely to be sex-positive, I think that'd be a relatively small subset of the "sex-positive" population.

No. You would just be on a friendship site if you didn't intend to have a romantic relationship. I mean maybe central part of their lives is correct, but it doesn't just mean looking for someone to have sex with. That's ridiculous. Sex negative maybe if just looking for a relationship without sex. Sex positive means beyond just typical.

Check out r/deadbedrooms. A lot of nominally romantic relationships don't feature a lot of sex.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

And you are person that this guy is weeding out. You are a red flag.
The idea that you don't understand that people have different needs and wants versus rape is a huge red flag.

“Sex positivity” = will have sex with me per the frequency & type of sex I “need” and “want.” Conceptualizing sexuality as unilaterally getting your “needs” met is … extremely unsexy.

Woman here. I would say that’s a big part of what I’m looking for in a romantic relationship.
If a man finds that extremely unsexy, then it’s good we know that right up front.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Polyamorous

That's what I would think it means. Why not just be honest with this trait?

Nah. I think people using "sex-positive" mean that it's a focus the relationship, something they enjoy, and a central part of their lives. It's not a nice extra if things happen to work out; and it's certainly not shameful. While someone who is polyamorous is more likely to be sex-positive, I think that'd be a relatively small subset of the "sex-positive" population.

No. You would just be on a friendship site if you didn't intend to have a romantic relationship. I mean maybe central part of their lives is correct, but it doesn't just mean looking for someone to have sex with. That's ridiculous. Sex negative maybe if just looking for a relationship without sex. Sex positive means beyond just typical.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Polyamorous

That's what I would think it means. Why not just be honest with this trait?

Nah. I think people using "sex-positive" mean that it's a focus the relationship, something they enjoy, and a central part of their lives. It's not a nice extra if things happen to work out; and it's certainly not shameful. While someone who is polyamorous is more likely to be sex-positive, I think that'd be a relatively small subset of the "sex-positive" population.

You guys are reading way too much into it. I just take it as meaning you like sex and wish to have it often and aren’t weird about it. I assume most people who choose that are coming out of relationships/marriage etc..in which their partner was probably one of those “I only want to have sex on special occasions” people.

To me it just means you like it and you want to have it-often. And want someone else who wants the same. As a woman, I get it and I would definitely put it on my profile as physical touch/including sex is definitely my love language.

Anonymous wrote:Polyamorous

That's what I would think it means. Why not just be honest with this trait?

I would say that someone who selects this as one of five qualities:

-thinks sex is very important in a relationship
-will likely want to have sex fairly early on (probably by date 3 or so, and almost certainly by date 5 or 6)
-has a fairly high sex drive
-will be comfortable talking about sex (including potentially kinkier things) in a fairly upfront way.

I make no judgments about this, but I would have steered clear in my dating days, as we'd be incompatible on a couple of those points.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

And you are person that this guy is weeding out. You are a red flag.
The idea that you don't understand that people have different needs and wants versus rape is a huge red flag.

“Sex positivity” = will have sex with me per the frequency & type of sex I “need” and “want.” Conceptualizing sexuality as unilaterally getting your “needs” met is … extremely unsexy.

NP and I read this as wanting someone that is also frequently into sex as part of their needs. Just like if someone wants someone that likes to go out to eat a lot rather than stay in. The idea would be that their wants/needs or whatever are aligned.

Polyamorous