I don’t think my kids would have thought about it themselves in a vacuum, but my 3rd grader has begun saying stuff like “all my friends say you’re so pretty and you look like you’re in your 20s!” It’s clearly a thing she’s proud of, having a mom that your friends think is pretty. (Bless their hearts, I’m reasonably attractive for a 40yo mom, but no one is out here paying me to work as a model or influencer.) I say “that’s so kind of them to say!” but don’t otherwise encourage any focus on my or anyone else’s appearance. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little more aware of how I look at drop off and on playdates, since apparently I have a reputation to uphold.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They know. My elementary aged kid told me I'm fat.

Fat is not unattractive. For some reason on this board people seem to think a fat person is automatically not good looking. They equate the two.

Because healthy is attractive, so fat, by definition is unattractive.

Skinny people can be wildly unhealthy.

No one said anything about skinny. Obesity is not healthy any way you want to spin it.

A friend’s 6-year-old told her she was beautiful except for her elbows which were wrinkly….

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They know. My elementary aged kid told me I'm fat.

Fat is not unattractive. For some reason on this board people seem to think a fat person is automatically not good looking. They equate the two.

Because healthy is attractive, so fat, by definition is unattractive.

Skinny people can be wildly unhealthy.

Anonymous wrote:My kid noted I was the second to least fat mom in her girl scout troop! She had all the moms ordered in size in her mind!

My kid also routinely tells me to dress nice for certain school events.

And she will often ask me why I look good (if I happen to look good) or bad (if i happen to look worse than normal)

None of this offends me. I mean, it's a bit weird that she had the moms from our Girl Scout troop sized up but it's just how kids observe their world.

My daughter started noticing in MS. If I ask her if she thinks someone is "pretty" she has one of several answers:
- 'yes'
- 'straw blonde botox mom' - we're at a fancy private school so there's lots of plastic surgery that's noticeable
- 'she just looks like a mom' - most women fall into this one (including me)
- 'she doesn't take care if herself'

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course they can. That's why some kids are so embarrassed and mortified of their parents. They worry their friends will also notice and make fun of them.

I thought most everyone is to some degree embarrassed of their parents at a certain age

To some degree and some more than others, for these reasons.

I only remember specifically noticing if certain parents were overweight/obese- this stood out because I'm from a small, wealthy town where more people are on the thin/athletic side. Also I remember certain female teachers being well dressed or more polished than others. Not necessarily their actual looks though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They know. My elementary aged kid told me I'm fat.

Fat is not unattractive. For some reason on this board people seem to think a fat person is automatically not good looking. They equate the two.

Because healthy is attractive, so fat, by definition is unattractive.

I think so. I remember thinking certain moms looked blonde/rich/stylish and other moms looked like German prison wardens.

My mother was a model - probably one of tbe most stunning people I’ve ever known (and many others agree)… but I actually don’t remember thinking anything about her looks as a kid. She was just my mom. But I did know people commented on her looks all the time.

My kid noted I was the second to least fat mom in her girl scout troop! She had all the moms ordered in size in her mind!

My kid also routinely tells me to dress nice for certain school events.

And she will often ask me why I look good (if I happen to look good) or bad (if i happen to look worse than normal)

None of this offends me. I mean, it's a bit weird that she had the moms from our Girl Scout troop sized up but it's just how kids observe their world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course they can. That's why some kids are so embarrassed and mortified of their parents. They worry their friends will also notice and make fun of them.

I thought most everyone is to some degree embarrassed of their parents at a certain age

My DD is now 21, and I asked her recently if she was ever embarrassed of me. I was shocked she said the only time was when we were getting a ride home from her friend's mom and the mom told me about a professional accomplishment and when I said "Mazel tov" her friend giggled.

I think they have a clue but like all kids are too self absorbed to dwell on it

Anonymous wrote:They know. My elementary aged kid told me I'm fat.

Fat is not unattractive. For some reason on this board people seem to think a fat person is automatically not good looking. They equate the two.

Anonymous wrote:Of course they can. That's why some kids are so embarrassed and mortified of their parents. They worry their friends will also notice and make fun of them.

I thought most everyone is to some degree embarrassed of their parents at a certain age