Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with waiting so long is that you end up being really too old to enjoy being a grandparent. 30s is better for finances, 20s is better for life after kids.

What's with the shaming of teen parents? If you want to have kids at 40 that's fine but no need to be nasty to young mothers who make the difficult decision to keep their babies.

The hate on DCUM seems to be largely reserved for any women who has the temerity to procreate past age 40.

I was pushing 40 when my last one was born, putting me in with the older parents at the school, but there were definitely a few that got into that area where you aren't sure if they are the parent or grandparent. As long as you can keep up the energy level go for it.

I don't plan on looking like a grandparent until I'm 65 so that shouldn't be a problem.

As soon as you are ready - financially, emotionally, with a good partner, etc. Once those are in place no reason to wait. That age might be 26 for one person and 39 for another.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with waiting so long is that you end up being really too old to enjoy being a grandparent. 30s is better for finances, 20s is better for life after kids.

What's with the shaming of teen parents? If you want to have kids at 40 that's fine but no need to be nasty to young mothers who make the difficult decision to keep their babies.

The hate on DCUM seems to be largely reserved for any women who has the temerity to procreate past age 40.

I was pushing 40 when my last one was born, putting me in with the older parents at the school, but there were definitely a few that got into that area where you aren't sure if they are the parent or grandparent. As long as you can keep up the energy level go for it.

I was the 26-32 poster above. However im almost 40 now.

I am mentally and emotionally SO strong now. I think if I had waited until now, I’d be able to handle it mentally incredibly well. So so well. Physically, maybe. If I had spent more time working out during age 30-40, really fit. I think I could compensate.

But right now I find it incredibly hard to lack sleep, I am in fact not as good at physical balance and bouncing around, down on the floor, etc.

So I’d say 40 could work too if you’re building yourself up from age 30-40.

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at 25 and would have preferred to be done early 30s but life doesn't always work out the way we want.

This. I had kids in my thirties, but if circumstances worked, would have preferred earlier 26-30.

*correction 32 for the 3rd kid.

I had kids at 26, 30 and 33.
I snapped back to a good place emotionally , physically fairly well at 26 and 30.

33 not as well.. but also I can’t say. If it was a first kid at that age, probably I’d be fine

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at age 30 and 2nd at age 32 and it seems just right to me. I’m almost 40 now and it’s hard to imagine having a baby or toddler at this stage of life—I feel like I had a lot more energy 10 years ago than I do now.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I’d say, despite some risks, mid thirties. You have lived a life, you likely have a career, have traveled, made some mistakes and acquired some wisdom. You are still young enough to have one or two or three!

I'd say mid forties is ideal.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with waiting so long is that you end up being really too old to enjoy being a grandparent. 30s is better for finances, 20s is better for life after kids.

What's with the shaming of teen parents? If you want to have kids at 40 that's fine but no need to be nasty to young mothers who make the difficult decision to keep their babies.

The hate on DCUM seems to be largely reserved for any women who has the temerity to procreate past age 40.

I had my first and only at 36. If I could go back in time, I would have started trying at 30 (I married at 29.5).

I also wouldn't have wasted my 20s with men who couldn't commit, but I digress.....

30 was wonderful for me. I had 3 kids when I was 30-35. I was able to meet DH, marry, travel a lot, get my masters, buy a house and have time with just DH and I before kids. And then at 35 I was able to lean in at work. It was a good age to lean in as when I was younger my age held me back, but at 35 I was more focused and determined.

The problem with waiting so long is that you end up being really too old to enjoy being a grandparent. 30s is better for finances, 20s is better for life after kids.

What's with the shaming of teen parents? If you want to have kids at 40 that's fine but no need to be nasty to young mothers who make the difficult decision to keep their babies.

Anonymous wrote:The best age is whatever works for your particular situation. Why do you care what others choose to do, OP?

This. No way would I want to have a kid in my 20's, but I have friends who had three before turning 30. And those kids just sent or soon will send their last off to college and I have a tween and young teen. I don't think there is one ideal.

Biologically? Your late teens and 20s.
Psychologically? When you have a strong desire for children and high motivation to raise them well.
Financially? When you feel stable enough, which will depend on the individual.