Anonymous
01/02/2024 22:31
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Anonymous wrote:I would have her come part time - maybe just a few hours a week to give you a break and have some continuity for your child until the child goes to preschool
Nannies have full time bills? Hello?
Anonymous
01/02/2024 22:26
Subject: Re:Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Have you considered in home daycare to fill the gap before preschool? They’re cheap, they don’t have long wait lists and will accept temporary placements.
My DH abruptly quit his job when our child was 2 and I was pregnant. So he got no unemployment and no severance. We kept our nanny on at first, which was dumb because we were dipping significantly into savings to do this, and we knew it would likely take several months for him to find a job. After 2 months, we laid off our nanny and put our child in an in home daycare. We could afford that and our other living expenses on my salary. As the other poster pointed out, it is hard to job search only during nap times. Plus DH was burned out and enjoyed having leisure time when he wasn’t job hunting. He had time to take care of everything on his honey do list, and we had home cooked dinners every night.
DH started a new job 6 months after he quit the other job. We had felt terrible about letting our nanny go, but it turned out that she was happy to be on unemployment so she could spend time with her family. She was available when we needed her back, so everything worked out great.
I know it’s a stressful situation and I really hope that everything works out for you too.
My DH abruptly quit his job when our child was 2 and I was pregnant. So he got no unemployment and no severance. We kept our nanny on at first, which was dumb because we were dipping significantly into savings to do this, and we knew it would likely take several months for him to find a job. After 2 months, we laid off our nanny and put our child in an in home daycare. We could afford that and our other living expenses on my salary. As the other poster pointed out, it is hard to job search only during nap times. Plus DH was burned out and enjoyed having leisure time when he wasn’t job hunting. He had time to take care of everything on his honey do list, and we had home cooked dinners every night.
DH started a new job 6 months after he quit the other job. We had felt terrible about letting our nanny go, but it turned out that she was happy to be on unemployment so she could spend time with her family. She was available when we needed her back, so everything worked out great.
I know it’s a stressful situation and I really hope that everything works out for you too.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 21:22
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Could you find another family to do a nanny share? That would decrease the cost and you'd still have child care.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 20:50
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
I was laid off once and it took me over a year to find another job, and this economy is much worse than then. It’s unbelievable how slow HR departments move. I’d expect the worst, hope for the best, but that means bye bye nanny.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 18:11
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would keep her for another six weeks but be honest with her that you were laid off and can only keep her that long. Say you understand if she quits for a different job at any time. I think this has three advantages: it gives her time to job search and set up her next job, it gives you some breathing room to job search aggressively, and if you get a job right away it minimizes hassle/transitions.
Exactly this. Use this time to job hunt and network. Cut back elsewhere.
This is what I did. We needed my income (I was primary earner) but getting child back into care was a worry for me. I wonder how long ago the person who found care within four weeks was doing that. Child care options are limited. You are unlikely to find a reliable person for 3 months or whatever once you find a job. And group care is very hard to find on short notice.
Definitely take the Pre-K spot. You can always not take the spot later.
Scrambling to find coverage when you need to interview (you do not want to trust little one will take a good nap on your interview day) or trying to build a client base one hour at a time is not sustainable. I applied to over 100 jobs before I found work. I networked hard. It would have felt impossible to do that while being a full time stay at home parent. Give yourself three months and dip into savings to save yourself the challenge of finding someone new once you have a job. You have an end point (Aug) when that child goes to care - so if in three months you don't have a job, then you talk to nanny about ending earlier.
But I would strongly caution giving up the one stable thing you can. Hold on to that as long as you can.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 17:30
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Anonymous wrote:I would keep her for another six weeks but be honest with her that you were laid off and can only keep her that long. Say you understand if she quits for a different job at any time. I think this has three advantages: it gives her time to job search and set up her next job, it gives you some breathing room to job search aggressively, and if you get a job right away it minimizes hassle/transitions.
Exactly this. Use this time to job hunt and network. Cut back elsewhere.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 14:55
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
You can't afford the nanny anymore. Give her a month notice and use that for job search.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 14:46
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Also *if you can afford it* and if you want to get back to some sort of employment quickly, there is no harm in making this time enjoyable vs a grind (i get enjoyable is relative when you've been laid off). You could keep the nanny so you can network, you can still take your kid whenever you want to have fun with them (no nanny has ever complained about being told to go home early b/c you're taking the kid for the afternoon), you can have some time to tend to the health / administrative / home improvement whatever things you never have time to get to.
I know several women who have had phases like this and its been incredibly restorative to feel like you've caught up on all the other aspects of life before diving into the next job. Its of course a privilege, i know its not an option for most people, but if it is an option for you I would recommend keeping the nanny without any guilt. And truly intense job hunting can easily take almost as much time as a full time job, so I wouldn't assume you can easily look for a new job without a nanny or other childcare.
I know several women who have had phases like this and its been incredibly restorative to feel like you've caught up on all the other aspects of life before diving into the next job. Its of course a privilege, i know its not an option for most people, but if it is an option for you I would recommend keeping the nanny without any guilt. And truly intense job hunting can easily take almost as much time as a full time job, so I wouldn't assume you can easily look for a new job without a nanny or other childcare.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 13:47
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
If you want to get back to work and can afford it - keep her. Job searching is a full time job, networking coffees and calls, interviews and move at varying paces, prepping for them etc. The majority of this needs to happen at the whim of other people’s schedules and during the work day. When I was job hunter, I easily had 10-15 networking calls / coffees a week (people will connect you with other people) and within 2 weeks started having interviews but spent about 3 months finding the right thing. This would have been impossible to fit in around a nap schedule
Anonymous
01/02/2024 13:13
Subject: Re:Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Anonymous wrote:I think you need to figure two things out first:
1) How constrained are you financially? If you have a one year emergency fund and/or easy access to other money and/or the ability to cut back dramatically in other areas like travel, that's very different than if you're immediately in a world of worrying about paying your mortgage.
2) What do you want to do? If your goal is really to get back up to full time employment (or equivalent in consulting) ASAP, that's a different answer than if you'd honestly prefer the time with your little one until August.
The only way I would keep the nanny is if you can float for at least six months without major issues AND you would prefer to get up to full time employment ASAP.
Otherwise, you're pretty much forced to let her go. But honestly, while it probably makes you sad, there's some upside to that for her. The supply/demand of nannies is such that lots of people are letting their nannies go in August/September as school is starting, but people with babies are looking for nannies year round, so nannies are at a bit of a disadvantage in the job market in the fall. Post a bunch of glowing references on your neighborhood listservs - you can help her find another family. You can tell her that you're flexible on her end date, anytime between now and X date, so she can be immediately available if a family needs her.
Oh, and I would lean toward paying for preschool. No matter what your financial situation, you don't want to be home forever, which means you need to be working or actively and aggressively looking for work once the younger is off at school.
Also - check the fine print. If it's a "commitment" and a $1000 deposit - lets be real, you're out $1000 if you don't go, not the full amount.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 13:12
Subject: Re:Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
I think you need to figure two things out first:
1) How constrained are you financially? If you have a one year emergency fund and/or easy access to other money and/or the ability to cut back dramatically in other areas like travel, that's very different than if you're immediately in a world of worrying about paying your mortgage.
2) What do you want to do? If your goal is really to get back up to full time employment (or equivalent in consulting) ASAP, that's a different answer than if you'd honestly prefer the time with your little one until August.
The only way I would keep the nanny is if you can float for at least six months without major issues AND you would prefer to get up to full time employment ASAP.
Otherwise, you're pretty much forced to let her go. But honestly, while it probably makes you sad, there's some upside to that for her. The supply/demand of nannies is such that lots of people are letting their nannies go in August/September as school is starting, but people with babies are looking for nannies year round, so nannies are at a bit of a disadvantage in the job market in the fall. Post a bunch of glowing references on your neighborhood listservs - you can help her find another family. You can tell her that you're flexible on her end date, anytime between now and X date, so she can be immediately available if a family needs her.
1) How constrained are you financially? If you have a one year emergency fund and/or easy access to other money and/or the ability to cut back dramatically in other areas like travel, that's very different than if you're immediately in a world of worrying about paying your mortgage.
2) What do you want to do? If your goal is really to get back up to full time employment (or equivalent in consulting) ASAP, that's a different answer than if you'd honestly prefer the time with your little one until August.
The only way I would keep the nanny is if you can float for at least six months without major issues AND you would prefer to get up to full time employment ASAP.
Otherwise, you're pretty much forced to let her go. But honestly, while it probably makes you sad, there's some upside to that for her. The supply/demand of nannies is such that lots of people are letting their nannies go in August/September as school is starting, but people with babies are looking for nannies year round, so nannies are at a bit of a disadvantage in the job market in the fall. Post a bunch of glowing references on your neighborhood listservs - you can help her find another family. You can tell her that you're flexible on her end date, anytime between now and X date, so she can be immediately available if a family needs her.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 12:38
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would have her come part time - maybe just a few hours a week to give you a break and have some continuity for your child until the child goes to preschool
This is a good idea, maybe you could ask if she would be interested in going down to part time while she looks for a new position to give yourself some breathing room and also provide a softer landing for her.
This will work if her rent/mortgage will only be half and she only has to pay 50% ,of her groceries. OP said they have lost 45% of their HHI. Common sense tells you to cut all in necessary expenses and paying a nanny when you are at home is absolute insanity.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 12:34
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
[quote=Anonymous]I'm going to be the outlier here and say keep her if you can (at least for a few months if you can swing it) and use this time to job hunt full time. If you haven't found anything in a few months, it would be time for plan B. [/quote]
Ridiculous. She needs to be honest with the nanny so nanny can find new employment.
Ridiculous. She needs to be honest with the nanny so nanny can find new employment.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 12:30
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
If you have been paying legal your nanny will get unemployment. Give her severance.
Anonymous
01/02/2024 12:28
Subject: Unexpectedly laid off- what to do about childcare? Has anyone been through this?
Happened to me in 2009, Great Recession. Had to let our babysitter go.
I became a SAHM.
I became a SAHM.