I think you are likely safer now by waiting and getting access to any benefits as a domestic partner. Also get some medical power of attorney docs if you want your partner to play that role.

My god, don’t take financial advice here, or from an ex. Run the calculator today and see if there’s even a remote benefit. FAFSA rules are not the issue. (1) kid is never getting in to the fairytale school, (2) there’s probably very little aid offered even if it is only you. People have such fantasies about what someone else is getting.

I have a family member who did this for two HS age would be step siblings. One kid ended up at Air Force academy, the other didn’t go to college. Parents did marry, but the wait had no impact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw somewhere that FAFSA does not care about prenup.

This is correct.

I am in the same situation, OP. I have a decent amount of assets but most are in trust. It's questionable whether the terms of the trust would even allow me to make a distribution to pay for a step child's college. But I know it would be included in both FAFSA and CSS. My feeling is, I don't want to pay for his kids' college. So, therefore, I feel like I should not get in the way of them getting financial aid. Either I need to be ok with helping out for college, or I need to not marry the man so I don't screw up his aid.

That said, the FAFSA rules are changing. This is the last year that "custodial parent" - meaning the parent has spent the most nights with out of the past 12 months - is the determining factor. They are changing it so that it is the parent who provides the most financial support. Is that you or your ex?

Also, CSS rules are different plus some schools have their own nuances. Most private schools follow CSS, which typically wants all parents including all step parents no matter who lives with who or provides the most support, though some schools are different. Most but not all (VA being notable exception), public schools follow FAFSA.

Also at 150k, you aren't getting that much grant money anyway unless the kid gets into Harvard.

Also I get your logic re state school. If my boyfriend's youngest kid goes to state school, my feeling is we can be like whatever and get married because he won't be getting much if any aid for state school anyway.

But yeah, read up on this, including all the new rules. If marrying you means he f**ks up your kids' chances at financial aid, then he should consider whether he wants to contribute or delay marriage.

At 150k, Harvard is free. Most top schools are free as well. The tier below will also offer lots of grant aid

Harvard is not free at 150k - you'd pay something like fifteen percent of the costs at that income. But still a great deal. That was my point - the tippy top schools like Harvard and Yale and Princeton have good aid at the 150k income level. But the vast, vast majority of schools, even in the top twnety or thirty, do not.

10%

https://college.harvard.edu/guides/financial-aid-fact-sheet The great schools that have 90k cost of attendance will give you at ton of aid at 150k. It's the schools charge like their are Harvard, but aren't as good and don't have the endowments to match that are stingy with aid

Assets will reduce aid, even at 150k income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw somewhere that FAFSA does not care about prenup.

This is correct.

I am in the same situation, OP. I have a decent amount of assets but most are in trust. It's questionable whether the terms of the trust would even allow me to make a distribution to pay for a step child's college. But I know it would be included in both FAFSA and CSS. My feeling is, I don't want to pay for his kids' college. So, therefore, I feel like I should not get in the way of them getting financial aid. Either I need to be ok with helping out for college, or I need to not marry the man so I don't screw up his aid.

That said, the FAFSA rules are changing. This is the last year that "custodial parent" - meaning the parent has spent the most nights with out of the past 12 months - is the determining factor. They are changing it so that it is the parent who provides the most financial support. Is that you or your ex?

Also, CSS rules are different plus some schools have their own nuances. Most private schools follow CSS, which typically wants all parents including all step parents no matter who lives with who or provides the most support, though some schools are different. Most but not all (VA being notable exception), public schools follow FAFSA.

Also at 150k, you aren't getting that much grant money anyway unless the kid gets into Harvard.

Also I get your logic re state school. If my boyfriend's youngest kid goes to state school, my feeling is we can be like whatever and get married because he won't be getting much if any aid for state school anyway.

But yeah, read up on this, including all the new rules. If marrying you means he f**ks up your kids' chances at financial aid, then he should consider whether he wants to contribute or delay marriage.

At 150k, Harvard is free. Most top schools are free as well. The tier below will also offer lots of grant aid

Harvard is not free at 150k - you'd pay something like fifteen percent of the costs at that income. But still a great deal. That was my point - the tippy top schools like Harvard and Yale and Princeton have good aid at the 150k income level. But the vast, vast majority of schools, even in the top twnety or thirty, do not.

10%

https://college.harvard.edu/guides/financial-aid-fact-sheet The great schools that have 90k cost of attendance will give you at ton of aid at 150k. It's the schools charge like their are Harvard, but aren't as good and don't have the endowments to match that are stingy with aid

Only if you under 200k in assets

Why the rush to get married?

If I divorced I’d never get married again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the new FAFSA takes custodial and non-custodial parent income into consideration. I'm pretty sure CSS already does this, and those top private schools use CSS. So, if your ex makes decent money, his plan would already be blown, right?

But, he's right that if you marry, that income will also count. My kid has a friend w/ mom + stepdad and divorced dad, and I'm pretty sure all 3 incomes (maybe stepmom too) are entered (also all the step siblings, so they are waiting to see how they fare).

I thought this too?

It doesn't -- the new FAFSA switches from considering only the custodial parent's income to considering only the income of the parent who provides the most financial support. I'd hold off on marriage till the college decision is made to be safe.

But any schools that use CSS will consider all income-- both divorced parents and steps

You should wait.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw somewhere that FAFSA does not care about prenup.

This is correct.

I am in the same situation, OP. I have a decent amount of assets but most are in trust. It's questionable whether the terms of the trust would even allow me to make a distribution to pay for a step child's college. But I know it would be included in both FAFSA and CSS. My feeling is, I don't want to pay for his kids' college. So, therefore, I feel like I should not get in the way of them getting financial aid. Either I need to be ok with helping out for college, or I need to not marry the man so I don't screw up his aid.

That said, the FAFSA rules are changing. This is the last year that "custodial parent" - meaning the parent has spent the most nights with out of the past 12 months - is the determining factor. They are changing it so that it is the parent who provides the most financial support. Is that you or your ex?

Also, CSS rules are different plus some schools have their own nuances. Most private schools follow CSS, which typically wants all parents including all step parents no matter who lives with who or provides the most support, though some schools are different. Most but not all (VA being notable exception), public schools follow FAFSA.

Also at 150k, you aren't getting that much grant money anyway unless the kid gets into Harvard.

Also I get your logic re state school. If my boyfriend's youngest kid goes to state school, my feeling is we can be like whatever and get married because he won't be getting much if any aid for state school anyway.

But yeah, read up on this, including all the new rules. If marrying you means he f**ks up your kids' chances at financial aid, then he should consider whether he wants to contribute or delay marriage.

At 150k, Harvard is free. Most top schools are free as well. The tier below will also offer lots of grant aid

Harvard is not free at 150k - you'd pay something like fifteen percent of the costs at that income. But still a great deal. That was my point - the tippy top schools like Harvard and Yale and Princeton have good aid at the 150k income level. But the vast, vast majority of schools, even in the top twnety or thirty, do not.

10%

https://college.harvard.edu/guides/financial-aid-fact-sheet The great schools that have 90k cost of attendance will give you at ton of aid at 150k. It's the schools charge like their are Harvard, but aren't as good and don't have the endowments to match that are stingy with aid

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw somewhere that FAFSA does not care about prenup.

This is correct.

I am in the same situation, OP. I have a decent amount of assets but most are in trust. It's questionable whether the terms of the trust would even allow me to make a distribution to pay for a step child's college. But I know it would be included in both FAFSA and CSS. My feeling is, I don't want to pay for his kids' college. So, therefore, I feel like I should not get in the way of them getting financial aid. Either I need to be ok with helping out for college, or I need to not marry the man so I don't screw up his aid.

That said, the FAFSA rules are changing. This is the last year that "custodial parent" - meaning the parent has spent the most nights with out of the past 12 months - is the determining factor. They are changing it so that it is the parent who provides the most financial support. Is that you or your ex?

Also, CSS rules are different plus some schools have their own nuances. Most private schools follow CSS, which typically wants all parents including all step parents no matter who lives with who or provides the most support, though some schools are different. Most but not all (VA being notable exception), public schools follow FAFSA.

Also at 150k, you aren't getting that much grant money anyway unless the kid gets into Harvard.

Also I get your logic re state school. If my boyfriend's youngest kid goes to state school, my feeling is we can be like whatever and get married because he won't be getting much if any aid for state school anyway.

But yeah, read up on this, including all the new rules. If marrying you means he f**ks up your kids' chances at financial aid, then he should consider whether he wants to contribute or delay marriage.

At 150k, Harvard is free. Most top schools are free as well. The tier below will also offer lots of grant aid

Harvard is not free at 150k - you'd pay something like fifteen percent of the costs at that income. But still a great deal. That was my point - the tippy top schools like Harvard and Yale and Princeton have good aid at the 150k income level. But the vast, vast majority of schools, even in the top twnety or thirty, do not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw somewhere that FAFSA does not care about prenup.

This is correct.

I am in the same situation, OP. I have a decent amount of assets but most are in trust. It's questionable whether the terms of the trust would even allow me to make a distribution to pay for a step child's college. But I know it would be included in both FAFSA and CSS. My feeling is, I don't want to pay for his kids' college. So, therefore, I feel like I should not get in the way of them getting financial aid. Either I need to be ok with helping out for college, or I need to not marry the man so I don't screw up his aid.

That said, the FAFSA rules are changing. This is the last year that "custodial parent" - meaning the parent has spent the most nights with out of the past 12 months - is the determining factor. They are changing it so that it is the parent who provides the most financial support. Is that you or your ex?

Also, CSS rules are different plus some schools have their own nuances. Most private schools follow CSS, which typically wants all parents including all step parents no matter who lives with who or provides the most support, though some schools are different. Most but not all (VA being notable exception), public schools follow FAFSA.

Also at 150k, you aren't getting that much grant money anyway unless the kid gets into Harvard.

Also I get your logic re state school. If my boyfriend's youngest kid goes to state school, my feeling is we can be like whatever and get married because he won't be getting much if any aid for state school anyway.

But yeah, read up on this, including all the new rules. If marrying you means he f**ks up your kids' chances at financial aid, then he should consider whether he wants to contribute or delay marriage.

At 150k, Harvard is free. Most top schools are free as well. The tier below will also offer lots of grant aid

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I saw somewhere that FAFSA does not care about prenup.

This is correct.

I am in the same situation, OP. I have a decent amount of assets but most are in trust. It's questionable whether the terms of the trust would even allow me to make a distribution to pay for a step child's college. But I know it would be included in both FAFSA and CSS. My feeling is, I don't want to pay for his kids' college. So, therefore, I feel like I should not get in the way of them getting financial aid. Either I need to be ok with helping out for college, or I need to not marry the man so I don't screw up his aid.

That said, the FAFSA rules are changing. This is the last year that "custodial parent" - meaning the parent has spent the most nights with out of the past 12 months - is the determining factor. They are changing it so that it is the parent who provides the most financial support. Is that you or your ex?

Also, CSS rules are different plus some schools have their own nuances. Most private schools follow CSS, which typically wants all parents including all step parents no matter who lives with who or provides the most support, though some schools are different. Most but not all (VA being notable exception), public schools follow FAFSA.

Also at 150k, you aren't getting that much grant money anyway unless the kid gets into Harvard.

Also I get your logic re state school. If my boyfriend's youngest kid goes to state school, my feeling is we can be like whatever and get married because he won't be getting much if any aid for state school anyway.

But yeah, read up on this, including all the new rules. If marrying you means he f**ks up your kids' chances at financial aid, then he should consider whether he wants to contribute or delay marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the new FAFSA takes custodial and non-custodial parent income into consideration. I'm pretty sure CSS already does this, and those top private schools use CSS. So, if your ex makes decent money, his plan would already be blown, right?

But, he's right that if you marry, that income will also count. My kid has a friend w/ mom + stepdad and divorced dad, and I'm pretty sure all 3 incomes (maybe stepmom too) are entered (also all the step siblings, so they are waiting to see how they fare).

I thought this too?

It doesn't -- the new FAFSA switches from considering only the custodial parent's income to considering only the income of the parent who provides the most financial support. I'd hold off on marriage till the college decision is made to be safe.

As an aside- Why get married if you are done having kids? I assume you aren’t planning on having more kids since you have a college age child, but realize you could be a tad younger and wanting more kids. I don’t get the appeal of marrying if you are older and already have kids.

Anonymous wrote:I thought the new FAFSA takes custodial and non-custodial parent income into consideration. I'm pretty sure CSS already does this, and those top private schools use CSS. So, if your ex makes decent money, his plan would already be blown, right?

But, he's right that if you marry, that income will also count. My kid has a friend w/ mom + stepdad and divorced dad, and I'm pretty sure all 3 incomes (maybe stepmom too) are entered (also all the step siblings, so they are waiting to see how they fare).

I thought this too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the new FAFSA takes custodial and non-custodial parent income into consideration. I'm pretty sure CSS already does this, and those top private schools use CSS. So, if your ex makes decent money, his plan would already be blown, right?

But, he's right that if you marry, that income will also count. My kid has a friend w/ mom + stepdad and divorced dad, and I'm pretty sure all 3 incomes (maybe stepmom too) are entered (also all the step siblings, so they are waiting to see how they fare).

The number of kids in college no longer matters for financial aid.

PP here. It does to many css schools.