There are pros and cons to everything OP. I have 3 kids (DD10, DD8 and DS almost 5). My eldest 2 have similar interests, tastes, activities, etc. my youngest obviously does not and is at a completely different developmental level.
Also true is that my eldest and youngest are the ones with the least conflict. Older girls are comparing each other a lot and their fights are meaner. Middle and younger also fight (lots of hitting going on). My oldest and youngest are 5.5 years apart and almost never fight and have a less equal relationship. More like a mom - son (teacher-student) relationship.

Anonymous wrote:While this isn't a reality yet, due to an extremely painful fertility journey with lots of babies lost, in the best case scenario my kids might be 5 years or more apart in age.

Any positive stories of siblings with a large age gap?

It is fine. My kids are 7 years apart. My sister and I were 17 months and that sucks because you are literally competing against each other - like for sports teams. Also - can even end up in classes together in high school. She was smart and I wasn’t and that sucked too.

Don’t worry about the age gap at all. Promise there will be other things to really worry about.

My kids are 5 years apart, now 4 and 9. It wasn't what I wanted either but they do get along well. They're at different stages so they don't do everything together. But they do play together sometimes, they love each other a whole lot, and they also don't compete and battle the way my close-in-age brothers did. Another family with brothers six years apart has the same dynamic.

My husband also had sisters 5, 8, and 10 years apart from him, and he's closer with all 3 as an adult than I am with my brothers 2 and 4 years younger. I think this has a lot to do with individual personality and maybe gender.

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant on the first try with our son and then on what felt like the 1000th try with our daughter. They’re 4.5 years apart. It’s worked out beautifully, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. She’s in her senior year of high school now, and I’ve really enjoyed giving her the one on one attention that her brother got the first 4 years of his life. They been close since she was born. I think it really helped that he was in PreK and had his own schedule outside of the house when she was a newborn.

Hang in there. I’m crossing my fingers that it all works out soon for you.

This is us exactly. It has worked out so well. Honestly the hardest thing has been picking something that they both like to watch on tv/movies because they are at different maturity levels but want to watch together. They even share a room with bunkbeds now at 10 and 5 years old.

I know a set of brothers (still kids) who are 5 years apart, and they’re super, super close. The younger one has always idolized the older one and the older one has been such a great brother. I’m not going to say they’ve never fought, but that age difference diminishes competition significantly, which is a nice bonus.

i also know an adult brother and sister with almost a decade's age difference between them who are very close.

I always planned to have my kids 3-5 years apart and infertility messed up my plans as well. IVF #4 (my first successful cycle) resulted in twins. I wouldn't have chosen that, but whatever form your family takes, that becomes your normal.

My wife has a twin brother and they barely have a relationship. definitely because of how they were parented. Something tells me you’ll be better than that, op. I’m rooting for you!

Mine are almost 5 years apart, and so are my sister and I, and I think it’s ideal.
Very, very close.

My brother is 6 years older and we have always had the best relationship! So I always wanted a similar age gap with my kids, who are now 8 and nearly 2. It’s fabulous!! I don’t understand closer age gaps — seems so stressful!

Mine are 11 (B) and 6 (G). They adore each other. My sister is 7 years younger, and we are family, despite having wildly different personalities. In our case, we would not be friends even if we had a smaller age gap. We make it work, our kids are friends, and we make sure to spend time together.

I have 3 and my eldest and youngest are five years apart and are super close and sweet. Younger girl has her older brother wrapped around her finger. He’s probably her favorite person in the family. 😆