Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 15:14     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.


You go and then ask for a trip for just the two of you for Valentine's Day, etc. NBD. Stop looking for a fight.


Um, no. NYE for a child-free couple should be champagne, caviar and sex, not dominoes with old people.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:57     Subject: Re:Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t reward bad behavior. I would stay home. Husband can go have a sleepover with mommy and daddy. Do not engage in the fight. Leave the room when he brings it up.


OP here. He says that he and his mom discussed this in front of me at Christmas and it’s on me because I did not say anything! Well, yes HE said we will come stay over next weekend without talking to me!! I don’t want to create a scene in front of his family so I ignored it. And when I brought it up today, since he told me to pack my overnight bags, he flipped out and locked himself in his office. He says I keep him from his parents and he will make a decision to go do what he wants.

Erm his parents live 20 mins away! I have never said he can’t spend time with them!


“No one is stopping you from visiting your parents. If that’s what you need to do this weekend, I support you. I’m heading out for a run now. Talk to you later.”
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:43     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.


Why doesn't he care about breaking your heart?


You are kidding, right?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that so many of you act and think like total children well into adulthood. My goodness. They'll be divorced in a year and wonder what the hell happened. Stupid, immature, senseless fights.

Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:42     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
How did he come to "promise his parents" at Christmas. did they ask? Or he offered? What was the context?

New Year's actually is a family holiday in my family (except for the cool and young relatives who go out, but I've never been cool), but we're all local, so everyone goes home after midnight and then has dinner on New Year's day. And even I think this idea is bizarre.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:36     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.


Why doesn't he care about breaking your heart?
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:31     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Don’t have kids with this dude.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:28     Subject: Re:Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t reward bad behavior. I would stay home. Husband can go have a sleepover with mommy and daddy. Do not engage in the fight. Leave the room when he brings it up.


OP here. He says that he and his mom discussed this in front of me at Christmas and it’s on me because I did not say anything! Well, yes HE said we will come stay over next weekend without talking to me!! I don’t want to create a scene in front of his family so I ignored it. And when I brought it up today, since he told me to pack my overnight bags, he flipped out and locked himself in his office. He says I keep him from his parents and he will make a decision to go do what he wants.

Erm his parents live 20 mins away! I have never said he can’t spend time with them!


This is so not believable. Sorry.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:27     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Why do you need to spend the night if it's 20 minutes away? That's just weird.

I'd send him alone and he can make up whatever excuse he wants for you not being there.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:22     Subject: Re:Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:Don’t reward bad behavior. I would stay home. Husband can go have a sleepover with mommy and daddy. Do not engage in the fight. Leave the room when he brings it up.


OP here. He says that he and his mom discussed this in front of me at Christmas and it’s on me because I did not say anything! Well, yes HE said we will come stay over next weekend without talking to me!! I don’t want to create a scene in front of his family so I ignored it. And when I brought it up today, since he told me to pack my overnight bags, he flipped out and locked himself in his office. He says I keep him from his parents and he will make a decision to go do what he wants.

Erm his parents live 20 mins away! I have never said he can’t spend time with them!
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 14:06     Subject: Re:Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Don’t reward bad behavior. I would stay home. Husband can go have a sleepover with mommy and daddy. Do not engage in the fight. Leave the room when he brings it up.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 13:57     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mommy and daddy live 20 min away and he still wants to spend the entire holiday weekend with them? Those apron strings must be really strong.


+1 What DINK couple wants to spend NYE with their parents? Unless it’s a family party and all his siblings, cousins, etc. are going to be there it just seems so odd.


I'm a 50 year old DINK and would totally spend NYE with my parents.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 13:56     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:Mommy and daddy live 20 min away and he still wants to spend the entire holiday weekend with them? Those apron strings must be really strong.


+1 What DINK couple wants to spend NYE with their parents? Unless it’s a family party and all his siblings, cousins, etc. are going to be there it just seems so odd.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 13:43     Subject: Re:Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Are he and his family big football fans? Maybe he really enjoys watching the games with his parents?

With the additional info you’ve shared, I’d let him go solo or agree to one night. Book yourself a mail or spa appointment tomorrow and have some you time.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 13:43     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:More context is needed. How far away are ILs? Do you have small kids? Did you see them at Christmas? Why does DH want to go for the long weekend?

No kids. In our thirties. In laws are 20 mins away. He promised his parents at Christmas that we will be spending the New Years weekend with them, in front of me, without prior consultation with me. I didn’t say anything and thought we could discuss in private afterwards. When I did say no, he is flipping out about how he doesn’t want to break their hearts.


Hey! Too bad you just came down with the No-Weekend-With-Inlaws flu.
Doctors I talk to say it lasts only about 3-4 days
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 13:39     Subject: Husband wants to spend the entire new years weekend with his mom and dad
I’m having trouble believing this post. Spending the weekend with parents that are only 20 minutes away? NYE and staying overnight because it is after midnight with young children makes more sense but the whole weekend? Uh no.