Not responding to your texts or reaching out for months is the information you need to know. This person does not want to be your friend. It could be they are busier now and don’t have room in their life rather than something you did to them.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW my HS friend went radio silent in 2022. I read into it that I was ghosted, unfollowed her on IG. Friends for a season etc etc.

Got a text from her on a Friday this May - "Im so sorry I couldnt bear to tell you about this. [Older sister] died Wednesday. She was diagnosed in August. It was very fast. Its all so terrible."

I say this kindly... its not about us.

First, I’m sorry for your friend. That sounds awful.

As one of the PPs who was ghosted, I don’t think it’s about me. I don’t particularly care at this point, since I’d rather move on. While sometimes circumstances are what you describe, more often there is no concrete reason. People are allowed to feel hurt by things - those feelings may take on a different meaning in retrospect, but they’re real in the moment.

To another PP - I saw a quote about being ghosted that has stuck with me: “the lack of closure is the closure.” Taking that one with me.

FWIW my HS friend went radio silent in 2022. I read into it that I was ghosted, unfollowed her on IG. Friends for a season etc etc.

Got a text from her on a Friday this May - "Im so sorry I couldnt bear to tell you about this. [Older sister] died Wednesday. She was diagnosed in August. It was very fast. Its all so terrible."

I say this kindly... its not about us.

OP, most of all you have to feel more empowered. It's important that you view your communication from a point of empowerment. You have made the decision to not initiate. The .. what if she ... then I would ... you're too busy, and have too many other good things going on in your life to bother with second guessing.

I have written off some friends and they sometimes find their ways back into my life.

I had 2 mom friends who always cancelled or just never seemed to want to hang out. I forget about them and they reach out and all is well again.

People who I thought were friends ghosting on me has been the theme of 2022 - 2023. Horrible feeling. Am in a situationship at the moment and the person has not texted me, no even a reply to my Merry Christmas text. It sucks. I wish I had advice but I cannot even stick to my own advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. That hurts, I know. Sending you a big hug and hoping your new year is filled with deep friendships and love.

+1

I got ghosted by a friend this year, too, unexpectedly, and it still makes me sad. Focusing on other friendships has helped a ton. Hang in there.

+1
I’ve had this happen with 3 friends over the last 20 years. The first one was pre-iPhone so I didn’t text but called her weekly leaving messages. I let her know I missed her and to please let me know if I had done something wrong. Crickets. It hurt deeply as she was a very close friend at the time. We saw each other several times a month with our babies and had long phone calls multiple times a week. I spent too much time pursuing it and felt stupid and stalkerish in the end. Years later I determined it had zero to do with me. The 2nd time was with someone I had been friends with for 20 years and she was the mom of my son’s best friend. She did the slow fade which in some ways was more difficult because i was getting mixed messages. She would reply she was checking her schedule and then never get back to me. If she did, she’d give me a date and then cancel. The fact she occasionally responded made me feel like she was interested but I finally got the message. I stopped texting and haven’t heard from her in 2 years though oddly enough she comments on my FB posts to this day. The last one I dealt with better. We’d been friends a few years but COVID in 2020 canceled our last set of plans. She stopped texting and just to be sure she wasn’t experiencing a personal crisis I reached out but then let it go. I was proud of myself for moving on but I have to say it still hurts whenever I think of these friendships ending with no closure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, BTDT. What solved it for me was taking the other person on a surprise trip to Williamsburg VA for a tour of the historic area. We sat in silence the whole way there, not a single word exchanged. But once we got there and saw the people in costumes all that changed. We literally could not stop talking to one another. Problem solved.

How did you arrange a surprise weekend away with someone who didn't respond to you?

PP but! I did not say it was a weekend. Who said it was a weekend? Where was the word weekend mentioned and by whom? I asked the friend who had been so silent to sit in my car, with full tank of gas in place and off we went to Williamsburg which is a place that can really heal people. Not sure why people are reacting to this particular memory as being problematic. If you don't get it, you'll have to forget it.

Williamsburg…heals people? I cannot stop giggling. This keeps getting better and better.

So how did you contact your friend, if she wasn’t responding to her. Did you park outside her office on a Thursday, then frog-march her down to your car? I honestly can’t stop laughing at this DCUM Instant Classic.

What is your name?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, BTDT. What solved it for me was taking the other person on a surprise trip to Williamsburg VA for a tour of the historic area. We sat in silence the whole way there, not a single word exchanged. But once we got there and saw the people in costumes all that changed. We literally could not stop talking to one another. Problem solved.

How did you arrange a surprise weekend away with someone who didn't respond to you?

PP but! I did not say it was a weekend. Who said it was a weekend? Where was the word weekend mentioned and by whom? I asked the friend who had been so silent to sit in my car, with full tank of gas in place and off we went to Williamsburg which is a place that can really heal people. Not sure why people are reacting to this particular memory as being problematic. If you don't get it, you'll have to forget it.

Williamsburg…heals people? I cannot stop giggling. This keeps getting better and better.

So how did you contact your friend, if she wasn’t responding to her. Did you park outside her office on a Thursday, then frog-march her down to your car? I honestly can’t stop laughing at this DCUM Instant Classic.

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. That hurts, I know. Sending you a big hug and hoping your new year is filled with deep friendships and love.

+1

I got ghosted by a friend this year, too, unexpectedly, and it still makes me sad. Focusing on other friendships has helped a ton. Hang in there.

Williamsburg can heal people? Why?

Ok thanks. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve sent the last text anyway. Yeah no response is a response at leader we had (at least I thought so) a good time when we meet up towards the end of summer. And I am sure I did nothing wrong to cause this. I’ll miss her she’s played such an important role in part of my life but need to make new friends soon haha.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, BTDT. What solved it for me was taking the other person on a surprise trip to Williamsburg VA for a tour of the historic area. We sat in silence the whole way there, not a single word exchanged. But once we got there and saw the people in costumes all that changed. We literally could not stop talking to one another. Problem solved.

How did you arrange a surprise weekend away with someone who didn't respond to you?

PP but! I did not say it was a weekend. Who said it was a weekend? Where was the word weekend mentioned and by whom? I asked the friend who had been so silent to sit in my car, with full tank of gas in place and off we went to Williamsburg which is a place that can really heal people. Not sure why people are reacting to this particular memory as being problematic. If you don't get it, you'll have to forget it.

Everything about this is weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, BTDT. What solved it for me was taking the other person on a surprise trip to Williamsburg VA for a tour of the historic area. We sat in silence the whole way there, not a single word exchanged. But once we got there and saw the people in costumes all that changed. We literally could not stop talking to one another. Problem solved.

How did you arrange a surprise weekend away with someone who didn't respond to you?

I’m envisioning a madcap kidnapping/buddy movie with a lot of slapstick humor. At some point, they end up in one of the horse costumes with front and and back ends of the horse.

I am laughing so hard right now I think I just snorted and peed a little at the same time. Thanks!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, BTDT. What solved it for me was taking the other person on a surprise trip to Williamsburg VA for a tour of the historic area. We sat in silence the whole way there, not a single word exchanged. But once we got there and saw the people in costumes all that changed. We literally could not stop talking to one another. Problem solved.

How did you arrange a surprise weekend away with someone who didn't respond to you?

PP but! I did not say it was a weekend. Who said it was a weekend? Where was the word weekend mentioned and by whom? I asked the friend who had been so silent to sit in my car, with full tank of gas in place and off we went to Williamsburg which is a place that can really heal people. Not sure why people are reacting to this particular memory as being problematic. If you don't get it, you'll have to forget it.