Anonymous wrote:Op here. My kid doesn’t get violently angry when screens are taken away. But yes he does get angry. There is a difference. I’m not sure how I implied how his anger was violent.

That is NOT healthy at all

I agree you have to go cold Turkey. Our son has adhd and for whatever reason it makes screens more addicting and he would get really angry when it was taken away. We see a behavioral therapist who told us to just put time limits on screens due to the scarcity issue and we found that just caused too many meltdowns and begging for more. We went cold Turkey and it was hard the first week but it gets better. But i will add its really hard in the winter when they can’t be outside. I try to schedule more after school activities and have books all over the house so our kids are distracted, but I don’t blame you for allowing some.

Kids get a dopamine hit from playing games and they get addicted to being sedentary watching tv or YT.

Adults can have a day vegging out because we have spent time balancing our time. But kids don't have that skill.

Three kids and they only get their gaming fix from devices on weekends. Phone can only be used for communication during the school commute and are turned in when they come home. Oldest child is 16 and can use to text friends but I only allow this from 8 to 10 at night after homework is done. She doesn't game so that is not an issue.

Younger sons only can game on weekends or for special reasons (birthdays; went above and beyond with chores; grades)

Kid can watch tv but no devices like game machines , phones etc.

If he gets to play a game it’s on my or my husbands phone and it’s for exceptional behavior. They can’t ask for it.

If they act aggressive or poorly for anything - a toy, friend, etc then they get a warning.

Parents need time to do chores and things w out children distracting them sure - my kids can play w toys or read or play w each other

Anonymous wrote:I kind of hate screens- but please - give parents a break. Parents need time to do chores etc. an hour or less a day screen time isn’t gonna hurt any kid.

The kid is in elementary school. Not only should he have his own chores to get done, but he should be old enough to entertain himself or help parents with their "chores." My youngest is almost four and he loves helping.

Op here. My kid doesn’t get violently angry when screens are taken away. But yes he does get angry. There is a difference. I’m not sure how I implied how his anger was violent.

I agree you need to go cold turkey until he can handle it. I’d give it several weeks minimum. When you reintroduce it, he must understand that whenever you say to turn it off, he will do so without whining, yelling, talking back, etc. You have to be firm and consistent.

I would also talk about why it’s good to limit screens. My kids all understand that too much TV or video game time makes their heads fuzzy or makes them feel cranky.

What’s worked best for my family is no set rules (I don’t have a weekends only policy or 30 min limit), but they all know DH and I are the gatekeepers. If they ask to turn on a show and I say no, they know better than to complain.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, immediately. We allow the iPad on weekends only for an hour and one hour of TV. No TV or screens during the week. We worried about the scarcity mindset but this has been better for us.

Not even for educational materials?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kind of hate screens- but please - give parents a break. Parents need time to do chores etc. an hour or less a day screen time isn’t gonna hurt any kid.

If it isn’t impacting a kid’s behavior, you’re right. But if it is impacting their behavior, you’re wrong.

We needed to go cold turkey for a week (we used a conveniently scheduled vacation in a remote location). Then new routines when we got home, including no screens on weekdays. The “thirty minutes a day” was controlling our entire life - kid tried to plan it out, just sat around waiting for the time, whined for more, then would feel extremely insulted if we didn’t have time for screen that day because he has come to see it as
his right. None of that was the moderation message I meant to send.

Crazy kid

We have no screens during the week and allow it on the weekends (2 hrs/ day ) but they must have been outside for at least 2 hrs as well. Now that a couple of my kids are older, they are better at self-regulating. They just know when to stop. My youngest (8) is awful when given electronics time so her usage is even less and most weeks, none at all.

Our kids go to a school that does not use tablets or computers for learning.

If my kids reacted the way your kid is, I would cut it off completely.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My kid gets at least an hour of screen time at school through education programs. So the 40 minutes I do is in addition to that. He freaks out when I take the screens away. Funny thing is kids his age (7 going on 8) are doing multiple hours per day and even going to movies on the big screen. I avoid all that and have resisted buying a Nintendo switch.

Nothing about what you wrote is funny at all... Going to a movie and enjoying it is normal and natural..... Getting violently upset when having an iPad taken away is 100% not okay.

If my child displayed any addictive or violent behavior due to screens, i would cut them out 100%. That is not normal behavior. I'm sorry

So what about all the screen time they at at school on Chromebook’s?

Yes, immediately. We allow the iPad on weekends only for an hour and one hour of TV. No TV or screens during the week. We worried about the scarcity mindset but this has been better for us.

OP here. My kid gets at least an hour of screen time at school through education programs. So the 40 minutes I do is in addition to that. He freaks out when I take the screens away. Funny thing is kids his age (7 going on 8) are doing multiple hours per day and even going to movies on the big screen. I avoid all that and have resisted buying a Nintendo switch.