Etiquette books say no!

It's annoying that some people pompously decree that you must thank someone twice.

Anonymous wrote:No, we are $10m net worth, no expectations for thank you notes. Kind of depends on how much thought they put into the gift.

What does your net worth have to do with it?

Both.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my kids write thank you notes and have since they were old enough to write.

+1. For birthday gifts (family and friends both), also Hannukah gifts. If it's a random small thing Grandma dropped off when she came for dinner on a normal Tuesday, I don't make them do it.

I don't think the grandparents expect the cards, but I expect my kids to do them. It's how I was raised and one of the few formal things we do. I think it cultivates a sense of appreciation. This year my 10 year old sat down and knocked out his 12 or so birthday thank-yous by himself, in an hour. First time ever that it wasn't spread over weeks and like pulling teeth. Practice pays off!

Anonymous wrote:Of course they do

Omg little Mary or John can not sit for a few minutes and do this !

Not only is this the right thing it prepares them for life

This is not a hard thing to do. You people are lazy parents

Grandchildren do not exist for you to brag about to your parish ladies group or bridge club.

An in person thank you is better than a card or note unless the grandparents wants an old time FB post way to show off to people the grandchildren don’t know.

Yes. While I am aware that etiquette says gifts opened in person, for which tanks are given at the time, do not require written thank you, my parents still expect them and it isn’t worth the grief of angry grandparents. And getting my kids n the habit of written thank yous is a good habit to teach.

Yes everyone gets a written thank you

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I know the rule, but MIL sends one anyway and it doesn't hurt us to send one to her.

Same, can't get out of it when they send one to you. But frankly it's a good habit to get into. Grandparents all have to travel to visit, so the notes end up being mostly about "thank you for coming to spend time with us. We loved seeing the cheetahs at the zoo together" or whatever. Then "I'm playing with that Lego set a lot. Thank you for the great gift!"

Yes. I know the rule, but MIL sends one anyway and it doesn't hurt us to send one to her.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We're a WASPy very proper family and for gifts given in person and thanked immediately, thank you cards are not written.

True. Check Emily Post. This rule is in all the etiquette books.

No

No, they never have. They say thank you in person or FaceTime if it’s mailed. They don’t send thank you cards to any relatives. Now that they are teens, people much prefer the FaceTimes since they rarely see or talk to them.

My kids don’t write notes for in-person presents - but they write notes to everyone else, even if the person saw them open it on FaceTime.

Yes.

No.

We do not write thank you cards in general. We verbalize our thanks, in person most of the time, or for relatives abroad, by Facetime, email or text.

I come from an old European aristocratic family. No one in my family writes thank you cards, even though there are a lot of other customs and courtesies that we observe. Most countries do not tend to write thank you cards, actually. I've noticed it's more of a habit in the British and American middle class.