Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stop cooking. Tell your family to fend for themselves. And stop being a doormat and use your words in the meantime.

These sort of women prefer to wallow in their martyrdom. There is no reward in this world or beyond for your domestic sacrifices.

My H does nothing in the kitchen and in true form would rather order takeout thank actually put any effort in. As a result we spend a tremendous amount on takeout. I’m not sure it’s the correct approach but I simply can’t do it all.

Anonymous wrote:We got Blue Apron for a few months a couple of years ago, and it got my husband a lot more comfortable in the kitchen. He just had no idea how to make a meal for family.

But he’s perfectly capable of fixing one for himself?

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the daily reminder I always find here at DCUM that the life of singledom is to be cherished. I definitely have regrets at times, but then I think about the servitude and disrespect and the regrets dissipate.

Nah, just know your self worth and don't be a martyr. I rarely eat breakfast and if DH is cooking something he always asks if I want any. We sit down every week and figure out who is cooking what day.

You can't make bigger meals that will last 2 or 3 days?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stop cooking. Tell your family to fend for themselves. And stop being a doormat and use your words in the meantime.

We don't know the ages for the kids. For the dh sure

Even little kids can put cereal and milk in a bowl

Anonymous wrote:OP since you can have 6:00 a.m. maybe he assumed you ate? I would be happy if anyone in my house making a healthy breakfast for themselves! Esp if 5hey also clean after.

Next time, say " that looks amazing. Can I have some?"

Assumptions are rude and often wrong, as in this case. OP should have spoken up then rather than seething now. Since that time is past, she should be clear that he was thoughtless and if he tries to say "but I assumed you ate when the kids did"--she needs to tell him never again to assume but to ASK her. Because that's what any spouse ought to do, out of the most basic care for their spouse who does ALL the other cooking. FFS.

Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.
How can people be like this?

Go to him now and say: "This morning you cooked yourself a big omelette and took time to make it with fresh vegetable and serve yourself fruit too. You never once asked me if I'd like some. Next time please cook for us both-- it's as easy to do your omelet for two as for one. And 'next time' will be tomorrow because, surprise, you're on breakfast duty." Then tell him you've totaled how many meals you cook each month and that ends now; you're creating a schedule for when it's his turn to cook. Not asking. Presenting a schedule.

I don't get coming to post here instead of just saying, as he sat down to eat, "Looks great. Where's mine?"

Stop the mom-does-all-cooking nonsense. I don't care if he's got some super busy job. He can at a minimum be a polite human being and this morning he was not. I suspect this is a habit with him, isn't it, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Just stop cooking. Tell your family to fend for themselves. And stop being a doormat and use your words in the meantime.

This, but without a DH and with my HS kids. (I divorced DH for reasons unrelated to his failure to share parenting.). I thought stopping making breakfasts and lunches would mean they would transition to doing it for themselves - Nope.

I'm trying to do the same, but with grocery list/meal planning shopping. Also a big nope so far.

I still do the things that are important to *me* like cooking dinner for us all a couple times a week, so we have some communal family time.

Just be aware that other people in the family may not want to live at the standard you do. They are content to leave dishes in the sink, eat fritos or take out, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.

How can people be like this?

Maybe he assumed you already ate? When you saw him cooking did YOU ASK HIM to make some for you? No. Why? Just so you can have this argument and be angry. Women.

Let's not stereotype ALL WOMEN, thank you. How would you like if we made a generalization and then said MEN?

Anonymous wrote:Just stop cooking. Tell your family to fend for themselves. And stop being a doormat and use your words in the meantime.

We don't know the ages for the kids. For the dh sure

Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.

How can people be like this?

Maybe he assumed you already ate? When you saw him cooking did YOU ASK HIM to make some for you? No. Why? Just so you can have this argument and be angry. Women.

He was selfish. Had that been my husband I would have pointed that out.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the daily reminder I always find here at DCUM that the life of singledom is to be cherished. I definitely have regrets at times, but then I think about the servitude and disrespect and the regrets dissipate.

On the flip side, thank you for the daily reminder that life of married bliss with a sensible normal adult partner is to be cherished. I am glad that I did not swing to either extremes - marriage to a terrible partner or being single.

OP since you can have 6:00 a.m. maybe he assumed you ate? I would be happy if anyone in my house making a healthy breakfast for themselves! Esp if 5hey also clean after.

Next time, say " that looks amazing. Can I have some?"

Depending on how old your kids are, they can make eggs for themselves. Get one of these: https://www.amazon.com/BELLA-17285-Egg-Cooker-Yellow/dp/B08P26W81H/

Do batch dinners/leftovers so you're not cooking every day. Make a taco bar for taco tuesday and roll the leftovers to bean&rice bowls later in the week.

And if your spouse can cook for himself, he can probably cook for you/the family, if you ask. I agree with the PPs who have pointed out that you're complaining to the wrong people.