Anonymous wrote:You did well. I don't get the no consequences people. I would have him write an apology and give it to the aide and principal and if he cannot write, write it out and have him trace it or sit down with him, write it and help him sign his name.

I don’t think people are saying no consequences, people are saying OP’s consequences and threats are a bit ridiculous and over the top. What is the point of a 4 year old writing an apology? How will that help him next time? He can just apologize without the extra drama of a 4 year old writing a note.

You did well. I don't get the no consequences people. I would have him write an apology and give it to the aide and principal and if he cannot write, write it out and have him trace it or sit down with him, write it and help him sign his name.

That's extreme punishment for a 4 year old. Yikes.

Why does a 4 yr old have an iPad at all?!

Anonymous wrote:Pushing is incredibly common in preschoolers, who haven't developed impulse control. We're not talking about elementary school kids. Any teacher who thinks otherwise shouldn't be teaching preschoolers. Please find me one source to the contrary.

-child therapist who sees actually violent kids

Pushing other kids while learning how to get in line or in a crowded space-common. Pushing teachers?? Not common in my 27 years of teaching in early childhood classrooms....

Pushing is incredibly common in preschoolers, who haven't developed impulse control. We're not talking about elementary school kids. Any teacher who thinks otherwise shouldn't be teaching preschoolers. Please find me one source to the contrary.

-child therapist who sees actually violent kids

Op here. He’s five in two months. He knows why he lost the iPad. He was able to explain to me what happened in detail after school (larlo chased me, I got upset, I told the teacher to leave me alone, I didn’t have to go see the principal until lunchtime.). But he’s ashamed to talk about it. He also knows and can explain mean words vs nice words (cotton balls.). The principals email to us was not ott, she described him as polite and respectful during their meeting. The issue is that he pushed a teacher, which is a big deal to us because teachers are in charge and need to keep everyone safe and he needs to respect that. It was at recess where I think he gets carried away. I appreciate the constructive ideas. I worry he’s a little immature for his age and will struggle in kindergarten next year, but he’s already picked up reading (on his own) so holding him back would not be great boredom-wise. I also know alot can change in 6 months. Thanks everyone for their input.

Anonymous wrote:You are right to make sure he knows it was seriously unacceptable behavior. And like others have said, it’s important to make sure he knows what he should have done. Personally I didn’t extra punish and my kids successfully learned to use appropriate behavior. And, while I’m not a teacher, I agree what it is not normal, typical or common in any way. In all my years of parenting, my kids have never been in a class with a kid who pushed a teacher. I’m glad OP gets that.

How on earth can you possibly know this? Were you there all day every day? Did you get alerted every time a kid that wasn't yours misbehaved?

You are right to make sure he knows it was seriously unacceptable behavior. And like others have said, it’s important to make sure he knows what he should have done. Personally I didn’t extra punish and my kids successfully learned to use appropriate behavior. And, while I’m not a teacher, I agree what it is not normal, typical or common in any way. In all my years of parenting, my kids have never been in a class with a kid who pushed a teacher. I’m glad OP gets that.

Anonymous wrote:lol to permanently! What do you think he thinks that means (and what on earth DO yog mean?) Tell him hitting is not okay and role play what he might have done instead.

That made me laugh too. Permanence is sooooo abstract for a four year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

Good thing you're a former teacher. Absolutely no one here is saying they're ok with it. They're saying this is within the realm of normal for four, and punishing him (with something permanent?!) hours after the fact is useless and not age appropriate.

I supervise teachers now, so sit with that.

And no, it is absolutely not within the realm of normal for a four year old to push an adult in anger. Yes it is normal for some parents to consider such behavior to be normal/acceptable.

Do you have children?

DP. I’m also a former teacher and have two kids of my own. Agree that is not normal, and agree that many parents will say that it is.

Well the definition of "many parents saying it's normal" is that many children do it, hence it's normal. Glad your kids never pushed! It seems from this thread and your own experience than many parents have kids who push. An action being undesirable isn't the same thing as it being abnormal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

Good thing you're a former teacher. Absolutely no one here is saying they're ok with it. They're saying this is within the realm of normal for four, and punishing him (with something permanent?!) hours after the fact is useless and not age appropriate.

I supervise teachers now, so sit with that.

And no, it is absolutely not within the realm of normal for a four year old to push an adult in anger. Yes it is normal for some parents to consider such behavior to be normal/acceptable.

Do you have children?

DP. I’m also a former teacher and have two kids of my own. Agree that is not normal, and agree that many parents will say that it is.

Permanent will Not work with a 4 year old. Also, you don’t mean it. Of course you will
give it back at some point. I’d have my child say sorry and do something to help clean the classroom to “earn” the iPad back.

Plus - taking away the iPad has nothing to do with pushing. He he to young to relate the two and won’t make sense to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.

Good thing you're a former teacher. Absolutely no one here is saying they're ok with it. They're saying this is within the realm of normal for four, and punishing him (with something permanent?!) hours after the fact is useless and not age appropriate.

I supervise teachers now, so sit with that.

And no, it is absolutely not within the realm of normal for a four year old to push an adult in anger. Yes it is normal for some parents to consider such behavior to be normal/acceptable.

Do you have children?

You sound like such a basic parent. Give kid screentime every day, then threaten to take it away as punishment? Can’t you be more creative?