We get some of those things for our kids but don't consider them gifts and don't wait for a bday or holiday to buy them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just thought of another reason: If you set the precedent of getting an expensive gift for Christmas, this is what they will expect every year, and simpler gifts are then a let down. No kid or teen needs an expensive item every year around Dec 25. Laptops, bikes, phones, etc can last for many years and you get them when it's a good and convenient time. You don't upgrade just because it's the holidays.

I'm surprised at the laptops people are getting. So your kids all have 2 laptops that they have to care for? A school one and a work one?

Our bikes only last 2 years before kids outgrow them.

We save all the gifts until Christmas. Kids get some new outfits in August for school (and likely shoes because their shoes from the prior spring rarely fit), but that's it until Christmas normally. Luckily our kids have summer birthdays too, so they get all the warm weather stuff then and at Christmas they get all the cool weather stuff.

This is PP. My kid goes to private school, and they do not provide a laptop. My hats off to you for planning so far in advance that you get them all their expensive practical clothes and electronics the birthday or Christmas before they need them. That is some serious planning. We usually just do inexpensive non-essentials for holidays/birthdays. I don't know how you estimate the size or anticipate the needs! This year my kid's winter boots just happen to be worn down in December, so this is most expensive, non-fun gift she is getting for Christmas.

Thank you for this question, OP! Every year I feel a bit judged because we do an expensive Christmas. The thing is we don’t do expensive gifts any other time of year except Christmas and birthday. If we determine kid can get a phone by X grade it’s a gift for the occasion that occurs before it. Computers were a Christmas gift during Covid (needed for school), etc.

Anonymous wrote:Just thought of another reason: If you set the precedent of getting an expensive gift for Christmas, this is what they will expect every year, and simpler gifts are then a let down. No kid or teen needs an expensive item every year around Dec 25. Laptops, bikes, phones, etc can last for many years and you get them when it's a good and convenient time. You don't upgrade just because it's the holidays.

I'm surprised at the laptops people are getting. So your kids all have 2 laptops that they have to care for? A school one and a work one?

Our bikes only last 2 years before kids outgrow them.

We save all the gifts until Christmas. Kids get some new outfits in August for school (and likely shoes because their shoes from the prior spring rarely fit), but that's it until Christmas normally. Luckily our kids have summer birthdays too, so they get all the warm weather stuff then and at Christmas they get all the cool weather stuff.

Anonymous wrote:We don't give big ticket items like that for Christmas. Sometimes for a birthday. Often we will say "okay this is the bike we can buy you, but if you want something higher end, you'll need to pitch in." This might take the form of contributing their birthday and Christmas money from grandparents and a few other relatives ($20 from five different people twice a year adds up). It might also take the form of doing chores or helping us in ways above and beyond normal chores to help earn an upgrade.

Christmas is for smaller gifts. We don't stick to a $100 per gift cap, but if a kid gets something for more than $100, they will get fewer gifts overall, and they no this when they make wish lists. But also they know I'm a good shopper who knows how/when to nab deals, so also sometimes they ask for things that cost over $100 and I get them for much less via Black Friday or buying off eBay or whatever.

Christmas is for smaller gifts!?

We actually buy all our bikes used. Typically for under $50, a lot of the bikes were $25. My kids are still growing though. When they are teens and at their final height we might buy a fancier bike. The used bikes we do get are fancy, used bikes just don't sell for much.

This year nothing is more than $100, but that's because she got a bike for her birthday two years ago that still fits, an iPad last year for Christmas that still works and isn't getting a phone until she is 13 (she's 11 and has an Apple watch). Nintendo Switch was brought by Santa when she still believed, so probably 4 years ago?

She has those things but she uses them until she outgrows or needs another one, not because there is another, newer model Apple would like us to purchase.

Just thought of another reason: If you set the precedent of getting an expensive gift for Christmas, this is what they will expect every year, and simpler gifts are then a let down. No kid or teen needs an expensive item every year around Dec 25. Laptops, bikes, phones, etc can last for many years and you get them when it's a good and convenient time. You don't upgrade just because it's the holidays.

We've very rarely bought something expensive as a gift (bike/gaming system). It. doesn't make sense to buy a new gaming system or bike every year.

Yes, my DD has a phone, a nintendo switch, and a laptop. The switch was a gift, I can't remember if it was bday or xmas, but that was probably the only expensive gift we've given. The rest of the time it's simpler fun things.

I honestly don't know how people can save practical items such as a phone or a laptop for birthdays or Christmas (unless bday also happen to coincide with the start of the year). Laptop was purchased when she needed it for schoolwork in the fall, and replaced when it broke. The phone was also given when she started walking a long distance to school in the fall. Other practical and costly items such as winter boots and coats are purchased when the weather gets cold, which is usually before Christmas. Christmas presents are fun and frivolous: squishmallows, makeup, inexpensive jewelry, etc. I don't like to purchase big ticket items for Christmas just because it's Christmas, because we need to save that money for later in the year when expensive practical items are actually needed.

Only one of my kids is getting a present that costs over $100. It’s a piece of equipment he uses for his primary sport and he would like a new one. If I were just buying it as equipment, he’d get a much less expensive one or he’d have to wait to earn some money to make up the difference. We’re giving it to him for Christmas instead. It’s the only thing he asked for so I figured the extra amount spent is the Christmas part and the rest goes to “normally bought sports equipment.” We’ve done that with expensive bikes as well, but usually for birthdays.

We’ve never bought a gaming system and the two with phones have a cheap phone and a hand me down phone.

Anonymous wrote:Bicycle is personal equipment, not a gift. Same as their bed and desk.

It's a "gift, so we can avoid giving a gift on top of it.

The useful things in life are all gifts. That's an important lesson.

Bicycle is personal equipment, not a gift. Same as their bed and desk.

Anonymous wrote:Does that mean your kid doesn't have things like a bike, or a video game system, or a laptop, or do they get those things some other way?

I see people here who say they never give gifts over $100, but in real life I don't know many kids who don't own any items that cost more than that, so I wonder where those things come from.

Hand-me-down or used bike.

Shared or hand-me-down computer, it got a new cheap one for covid school. Computer is a (sometime fun) tool, not a pure gift.

Hand-me-down video game system.

Occasionally expensive gift is a combined gift from multiple family members.

Anonymous wrote:Does that mean your kid doesn't have things like a bike, or a video game system, or a laptop, or do they get those things some other way?

I see people here who say they never give gifts over $100, but in real life I don't know many kids who don't own any items that cost more than that, so I wonder where those things come from.

People buy those things outside of holidays.

My sister prides herself on spending very little on gifts. The relatives buy the other stuff or we give the kids money and they save for them. I bought my niece and nephew bikes in the past. This year he asked for money to go towards a new computer. My parents, the grandparents, buy them a lot too.