Anonymous
12/17/2023 18:07
Subject: Re:What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
I was an emergency contact for a military family in my neighborhood whose kids were the same age as mine. The DH was deployed and the DW had a medical emergency. No one picked the kids up from after school care so I was called to get them.
The kids were worried/confused but fine coming to our house. I called the mom when we got home and hospital staff answered the phone. I didn't get details about her condition but assured them the kids were safe with us. A social worker later came to the house to speak with us and the kids. The social worker determined the kids were best served staying with us.
I informed the school counselors what was going on. We were later called by the DH and someone from military family services. We got more info about the DW and took the kids to see her. The kids stayed with us for 3 nights until their father got home. They stayed with him at night but came to our house after school for about 6 weeks. They also had the occasional night at our house.
The kids were worried/confused but fine coming to our house. I called the mom when we got home and hospital staff answered the phone. I didn't get details about her condition but assured them the kids were safe with us. A social worker later came to the house to speak with us and the kids. The social worker determined the kids were best served staying with us.
I informed the school counselors what was going on. We were later called by the DH and someone from military family services. We got more info about the DW and took the kids to see her. The kids stayed with us for 3 nights until their father got home. They stayed with him at night but came to our house after school for about 6 weeks. They also had the occasional night at our house.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 17:49
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Related but in a roundabout way. My friend's sister was mentally ill and wandered from her apartment. The family couldn't find her and, after several months missing, discovered she had died from pneumonia while homeless two states away from her residence.
The coroner's office fingerprinted her and was able to determine who she was from records when she worked in the fed govt 30 years ago. From there, they tracked down my friend's other sister in another state and their dad, and they had to ID the body.
All that to say, federal agencies have numerous ways to track down next of kin. My friend's sister had no identification on her, yet the coroner was still able to find her next of kin within days of her passing.
The coroner's office fingerprinted her and was able to determine who she was from records when she worked in the fed govt 30 years ago. From there, they tracked down my friend's other sister in another state and their dad, and they had to ID the body.
All that to say, federal agencies have numerous ways to track down next of kin. My friend's sister had no identification on her, yet the coroner was still able to find her next of kin within days of her passing.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 17:14
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you all for helping me run over this scenario.
I have had people in my life experience catastrophic illness while being extremely healthy such as brain aneurysm driving home from work. Watching them heal thru therapies has really urged me to ensure I have a good plan as my family members who would be called are not financially fit by DCUM standards and would not be able to unexpectedly fly in if I am unable to access my account to provide those fundings.
I would worry too - is there any health implication or difficulty on returning a child to the parent if CPS temporarily places them in a foster home? Worries also as a minority mother. There are some quite awful scenarios that are well documented with CPS.
With the neighbor, of course things could be terrible as well if the person is an unknown abuser of some sort.
Thank you all though for your help. I come from an older family so thank you PP who raised age as a factor.
I’ll look more into those classmate schoolmate family possibilities.
I have never stepped in in the situation you describe, but I have stepped in several times to help neighbors, or other members of my congregation or my kids’ school community for things like watching an older sibling over night while mom gives birth. If you were my new neighbor I would be happy to do the same.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 17:11
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
As a single Mom, yes, CPS would take them until a family member is found or available.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 17:09
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very very rare for a person with a young child to have a heart attack or stroke and usually people in the school would are up if no one else is available.
NP but really? Ok. A car accident and is unconscious, then. Hit by a car and unconscious. A serious fall and is being rushed to surgery. And in each of these scenarios, the children are with the mom.
How would the hospital staff know which school the kid goes to, immediately? They wouldn’t. And there isn’t time for that. Social services would be called and the child would be placed. Things would be figured out from there.
Presumably the children's emergency contacts would be called first. They could stay with a neighbor until family could arrive.
Dude. Wtf? Are you dense? Imagine this happens at the mall. Who the hell is going to know who their neighbors are?
OP said elementary school aged child. An elementary school aged child knows where they go to school, and hopefully the parent has an ICE # on their phone which would be accessible to first responders. Even if that person is far away they should know that info.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 17:06
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Op here. Thank you all for helping me run over this scenario.
I have had people in my life experience catastrophic illness while being extremely healthy such as brain aneurysm driving home from work. Watching them heal thru therapies has really urged me to ensure I have a good plan as my family members who would be called are not financially fit by DCUM standards and would not be able to unexpectedly fly in if I am unable to access my account to provide those fundings.
I would worry too - is there any health implication or difficulty on returning a child to the parent if CPS temporarily places them in a foster home? Worries also as a minority mother. There are some quite awful scenarios that are well documented with CPS.
With the neighbor, of course things could be terrible as well if the person is an unknown abuser of some sort.
Thank you all though for your help. I come from an older family so thank you PP who raised age as a factor.
I’ll look more into those classmate schoolmate family possibilities.
I have had people in my life experience catastrophic illness while being extremely healthy such as brain aneurysm driving home from work. Watching them heal thru therapies has really urged me to ensure I have a good plan as my family members who would be called are not financially fit by DCUM standards and would not be able to unexpectedly fly in if I am unable to access my account to provide those fundings.
I would worry too - is there any health implication or difficulty on returning a child to the parent if CPS temporarily places them in a foster home? Worries also as a minority mother. There are some quite awful scenarios that are well documented with CPS.
With the neighbor, of course things could be terrible as well if the person is an unknown abuser of some sort.
Thank you all though for your help. I come from an older family so thank you PP who raised age as a factor.
I’ll look more into those classmate schoolmate family possibilities.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 14:17
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is a dumb question but why is the possibility of the child going into some kind of emergency foster care such a terrible option that everyone seeks to avoid it?
I get that it’s not ideal, but in my case all my friends are also working mothers and while they could maybe take one kid for a period of time, they wouldn’t have been able to take a baby and toddler, for instance. And my family of origin is dangerous and dysfunctional (alcoholics and violent).
I worried about this a lot when I had a baby and toddler and it was the height of COVID.
It seems like temporary foster care wouldn’t be the worst thing but people talk like it is. I just wondered why?
I don’t get it either. Definitely not ideal, but I fail to see how it’s any different than the underpaid daycare workers we willingly hand off our kids to every day.
Not everyone does that.
Perhaps the people who are concerned about their kids going into foster care don't.
How is it better for a kid to go a neighbor that you’re just friendly with better than them going to a temporary foster home?
Neither is ideal but we’re talking about emergency situations. I am friendly with my neighbors and adore them but I don’t think they could handle my children. A foster home would be safer.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 14:14
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
This is one reason why it's really important to establish at least minimal relationships with new neighbors and to make friends as soon as possible in a new location. People help each other out when they can. I know at least one young mother with very young kids who has been very reluctant to meet neighbors or make friends due to her personality but she is doing her kids a great disservice in case of an emergency or even just an unusual situation.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 14:07
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is a dumb question but why is the possibility of the child going into some kind of emergency foster care such a terrible option that everyone seeks to avoid it?
I get that it’s not ideal, but in my case all my friends are also working mothers and while they could maybe take one kid for a period of time, they wouldn’t have been able to take a baby and toddler, for instance. And my family of origin is dangerous and dysfunctional (alcoholics and violent).
I worried about this a lot when I had a baby and toddler and it was the height of COVID.
It seems like temporary foster care wouldn’t be the worst thing but people talk like it is. I just wondered why?
I don’t get it either. Definitely not ideal, but I fail to see how it’s any different than the underpaid daycare workers we willingly hand off our kids to every day.
Not everyone does that.
Perhaps the people who are concerned about their kids going into foster care don't.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 13:38
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is a dumb question but why is the possibility of the child going into some kind of emergency foster care such a terrible option that everyone seeks to avoid it?
I get that it’s not ideal, but in my case all my friends are also working mothers and while they could maybe take one kid for a period of time, they wouldn’t have been able to take a baby and toddler, for instance. And my family of origin is dangerous and dysfunctional (alcoholics and violent).
I worried about this a lot when I had a baby and toddler and it was the height of COVID.
It seems like temporary foster care wouldn’t be the worst thing but people talk like it is. I just wondered why?
I don’t get it either. Definitely not ideal, but I fail to see how it’s any different than the underpaid daycare workers we willingly hand off our kids to every day.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 13:35
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Maybe this is a dumb question but why is the possibility of the child going into some kind of emergency foster care such a terrible option that everyone seeks to avoid it?
I get that it’s not ideal, but in my case all my friends are also working mothers and while they could maybe take one kid for a period of time, they wouldn’t have been able to take a baby and toddler, for instance. And my family of origin is dangerous and dysfunctional (alcoholics and violent).
I worried about this a lot when I had a baby and toddler and it was the height of COVID.
It seems like temporary foster care wouldn’t be the worst thing but people talk like it is. I just wondered why?
I get that it’s not ideal, but in my case all my friends are also working mothers and while they could maybe take one kid for a period of time, they wouldn’t have been able to take a baby and toddler, for instance. And my family of origin is dangerous and dysfunctional (alcoholics and violent).
I worried about this a lot when I had a baby and toddler and it was the height of COVID.
It seems like temporary foster care wouldn’t be the worst thing but people talk like it is. I just wondered why?
Anonymous
12/17/2023 12:54
Subject: Re:What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
This happen to me many many years ago, when my only parent went to the hospital when I was in elementary school. I got up every morning and went to school. No one knew.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 12:20
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very very rare for a person with a young child to have a heart attack or stroke and usually people in the school would are up if no one else is available.
NP but really? Ok. A car accident and is unconscious, then. Hit by a car and unconscious. A serious fall and is being rushed to surgery. And in each of these scenarios, the children are with the mom.
How would the hospital staff know which school the kid goes to, immediately? They wouldn’t. And there isn’t time for that. Social services would be called and the child would be placed. Things would be figured out from there.
Presumably the children's emergency contacts would be called first. They could stay with a neighbor until family could arrive.
Dude. Wtf? Are you dense? Imagine this happens at the mall. Who the hell is going to know who their neighbors are?
This. Police do not randomly place children with neighbors. They do not know how long the parent will be incapacitated, nor do they know the relationship between parent and neighbor. You are wrong.
Anonymous
12/17/2023 12:18
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very very rare for a person with a young child to have a heart attack or stroke and usually people in the school would are up if no one else is available.
NP but really? Ok. A car accident and is unconscious, then. Hit by a car and unconscious. A serious fall and is being rushed to surgery. And in each of these scenarios, the children are with the mom.
How would the hospital staff know which school the kid goes to, immediately? They wouldn’t. And there isn’t time for that. Social services would be called and the child would be placed. Things would be figured out from there.
Presumably the children's emergency contacts would be called first. They could stay with a neighbor until family could arrive.
Dude. Wtf? Are you dense? Imagine this happens at the mall. Who the hell is going to know who their neighbors are?
Anonymous
12/17/2023 12:12
Subject: What happens to the children when a parent is admitted to the hospital but no other friends and family live nearby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very very rare for a person with a young child to have a heart attack or stroke and usually people in the school would are up if no one else is available.
NP but really? Ok. A car accident and is unconscious, then. Hit by a car and unconscious. A serious fall and is being rushed to surgery. And in each of these scenarios, the children are with the mom.
How would the hospital staff know which school the kid goes to, immediately? They wouldn’t. And there isn’t time for that. Social services would be called and the child would be placed. Things would be figured out from there.
Presumably the children's emergency contacts would be called first. They could stay with a neighbor until family could arrive.