Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a firm believer that your home is where you can be yourself. Your kid should not have to be walking around on eggshell around your DH who has unrealistic expectations for children. Now if your child are acting like wild banshees, that’s a different story, but don’t you want your kids to feel like they can have fun at home?

This is actually a pretty selfish way of thinking. Being yourself is great as long as it's not making it so others cant be themselves. OP's husband is obviously having a difficult time with the screaming, and his feelings matter too. Our actions have impacts on how others feel and we need to be mindful of that, and we need to teach our kids that too. And if you can have an expectation that kids use indoor voices at school or in a restaurant, it's not unrealistic to have an expectation that they don't regularly scream at home either.

DH is the adult!

Yes, and adult's feelings and comfort matter. Kids should not learn that their feelings trump adult's feelings and comfort. Now adults do have the responsibility to be emotionally regulated, not lash out, etc. But that doesn't mean kids can behave however they want and adults just have to put up with it. OP's DH has the right to feel comfortable in HIS own home too.

DH sounds like a whiny Biycg

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a thought let them be kids.

Troof

My kids are like this. I got loop ear plugs. I can still hear them talk, and I can still talk easily, but it takes it down several levels. I have 3 kids who are like this. They're well behaved, but LOUD.

In your case, I would make sure you have area rugs everywhere, that will help dampen the noise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a firm believer that your home is where you can be yourself. Your kid should not have to be walking around on eggshell around your DH who has unrealistic expectations for children. Now if your child are acting like wild banshees, that’s a different story, but don’t you want your kids to feel like they can have fun at home?

This is actually a pretty selfish way of thinking. Being yourself is great as long as it's not making it so others cant be themselves. OP's husband is obviously having a difficult time with the screaming, and his feelings matter too. Our actions have impacts on how others feel and we need to be mindful of that, and we need to teach our kids that too. And if you can have an expectation that kids use indoor voices at school or in a restaurant, it's not unrealistic to have an expectation that they don't regularly scream at home either.

DH is the adult!

OP they have decibel tracker apps and they have one in iwatches. Maybe see what the decibel level is. The teacher PP makes a really good point: there is noise and then there is NOISE, and as you point out in your title, you don't know the difference. Get some data to help you figure out where your kdis are at.

For what it's worth, neither DH and I like a lot of noise and sometimes we just look at each other in irritation when our kids are really loud, but it is far from constant and has never gotten to the point where we can't handle it. I suspect your kids are over the top and need to reign themselves in.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a firm believer that your home is where you can be yourself. Your kid should not have to be walking around on eggshell around your DH who has unrealistic expectations for children. Now if your child are acting like wild banshees, that’s a different story, but don’t you want your kids to feel like they can have fun at home?

This is actually a pretty selfish way of thinking. Being yourself is great as long as it's not making it so others cant be themselves. OP's husband is obviously having a difficult time with the screaming, and his feelings matter too. Our actions have impacts on how others feel and we need to be mindful of that, and we need to teach our kids that too. And if you can have an expectation that kids use indoor voices at school or in a restaurant, it's not unrealistic to have an expectation that they don't regularly scream at home either.

I’m a firm believer that your home is where you can be yourself. Your kid should not have to be walking around on eggshell around your DH who has unrealistic expectations for children. Now if your child are acting like wild banshees, that’s a different story, but don’t you want your kids to feel like they can have fun at home?

Obviously, we can’t know your exact family situation. But, there are kids who just scream, squeal, and are incredibly loud about everything and I think their parents don’t know any better and think it’s normal.

I’m a preschool teacher, so I feel like I have a very large sample size to compare it to. All (most) kids can be loud, especially when they are excited. But there are some kids that are yellers, screechers and squealers. It’s a whole different level of loud. I have to teach them to use their indoor voices. So the good news is that these kids can, and do learn to use their indoor voices.

DH is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally being loud while playing is fine. Screaming about dinner or particular foods is not fine. Always screaming or yelling simply to communicate would absolutely not be allowed in our home.

Tell me you have girls without telling me you have girls.

I have both. And DH and I decided we wanted to have a calm home - that home is a respite from "outside." So yes, our son adheres to the above too. Do the kids sometimes yell up or down the stairs to someone? Sure. But just minutes of yelling? Absolutely not.

+1 You can teach boys to have indoor voices. It’s fair to say the greater community and peer pressure helps significantly less than with girls but it’s absolutely possible.

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a thought let them be kids.

They can be kids without being hellions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally being loud while playing is fine. Screaming about dinner or particular foods is not fine. Always screaming or yelling simply to communicate would absolutely not be allowed in our home.

Tell me you have girls without telling me you have girls.

I have both. And DH and I decided we wanted to have a calm home - that home is a respite from "outside." So yes, our son adheres to the above too. Do the kids sometimes yell up or down the stairs to someone? Sure. But just minutes of yelling? Absolutely not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally being loud while playing is fine. Screaming about dinner or particular foods is not fine. Always screaming or yelling simply to communicate would absolutely not be allowed in our home.

Tell me you have girls without telling me you have girls.

NP. I have boys and I agree with PP.

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally being loud while playing is fine. Screaming about dinner or particular foods is not fine. Always screaming or yelling simply to communicate would absolutely not be allowed in our home.

Tell me you have girls without telling me you have girls.