I don't let my kids give away their toys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have stepped in when you saw your kid was ambivalent and being pressured. You should have said, sort, but DC does not have permission to give the toy away. Then later talk to your kid about how to stand up for himself and not give in to pressure. Saying this because I’m sure there will be another chance when this comes up.

For now, do not get the gift back. Lesson learned, If you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, maybe DC can add it to his list.

Agree wit this. Sometimes we have to read our kids body language and say what they don't want to. Maybe she doesn't know how, so it's time to teach her. "Sorry we're going to keep this at home, but I'll text your mom a link to it and you can talk to her about it".

+ 1 I don’t let my kids give their toys away since the toys are shared among all the kids anyway. But even if your kid is an only, I think the phrasing the PPs have given you is good.

The kid should not have asked for the toy. They were wrong and rude.

Anonymous wrote:I tell my kids no trades/giveaways. Especially my son he's far too impressionable and easily influenced

This. Trading was popular for a while and never ended well. We implemented a no trade or giveaway rule early on to avoid issues.

Anonymous wrote:You should have stepped in when you saw your kid was ambivalent and being pressured. You should have said, sort, but DC does not have permission to give the toy away. Then later talk to your kid about how to stand up for himself and not give in to pressure. Saying this because I’m sure there will be another chance when this comes up.

For now, do not get the gift back. Lesson learned, If you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, maybe DC can add it to his list.

THIS!

This is OP, thank you for all the great ideas. I can help my kid with this better next time thanks to your advice.

You messed up.

The time to intervene was when the other kid was badgering your kid and you saw your child was uncomfortable. You could have said “No trading or giving away toys without parent approval” or any other variation of that. Instead you allowed your kid to give away the toy, you watched your kid not know how to get out the situation and made it worse.

It's too late to do much now about that situation, but you can preempt future ones.... Have a discussion with your child about expectations with friends and property.... Role play with him ways to tell friends no and mean it..... Let him know that if he makes a decision in the future to give something to someone he needs to consider, he will never see it again.... So to think long and hard before making that decision.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I've ever had one of my kids friends badger them to give away their toys. You were right to let your son keep his toy. I would not be inviting this kid over again.

It’s common at that age, and they do it at school. I wouldn’t ban a kid from my house about it. They are young and still learning.

I'd have stepped in much sooner and shut the whole thing down way before they got in the car. "Jason, you asked and Scott said no. It's time to move on and let it go. Why don't you boys go play catch outside?"

I don't think I've ever had one of my kids friends badger them to give away their toys. You were right to let your son keep his toy. I would not be inviting this kid over again.

Other kid was rude and shouldn't be rewarded for bad behavior. You should have stepped in from the beginning and shut it down but in the end, I think its fine that you sided with your kid. They probably felt railroaded and agreed because the other kid was being too pushy.

I do think you should set a new rule that DC doesn't give toys away.

1. I step in when my kid is being pressured. “He said no, Larlo, that’s enough.”

2. No take backs - once you make a decision, you live with it. The only time I insisted the kids undo a trade was a real silver bracelet for a small eraser. No way the other kid’s parents were going to be thrilled when their daughter came home without we personalized engraved bracelet bc she got a small eraser.

Don't let your kid give their toys away to their friends.